What this looks like for me...

Ok, people have asked, so I'll journal what this looks like for me as my day develops.

I started my HCG on Friday morning. I am doing Sub Q injections, one per day in the morning.

I 'loaded' on Friday. I had 3 pieces of bacon for breakfast just because that's what I typically have for breakfast, although I usually have either 2 oz. of cheese too...or fruit and cheese...but I didn't this time. I was going to go to McDs for lunch, but then I read a disgusting article about their beef that nauseated me, so I changed my mind. I had a handful of nuts. My dau went to the store, so I asked her to bring me a donut and potato chips. I ate the donut and perhaps a cup of chips. We decided the Cheesecake Factory sounded like a stellar idea for dinner.

I had two molasses cookies about 2 hours before dinner.

I ordered some garlic pasta dish with chicken. I ate about 1/4 to one 1/3 of that. I'd had 1 garlic cheese ball thing and 2 pieces of bread beforehand and was full. I ordered a piece of tiramasu cheesecake to take home for later. Oh, and I had a glass of wine.

We came home and played Wii for about an hour. I ate the cheesecake a few hours later and had another glass of wine.

My second loading day I split my leftover pasta dish from Cheesecake Factory and ate that for two of my meals (breakfast and lunch). I had two more molasses cookies during the day, and two pieces of pizza and about 6 'i-fries'...about the equivalent of 2 bread sticks from like Little Caesars I'd guess. I had 2 glasses of wine. (Hey, I'm not going to have any for about the next 3 months, ok?)I had about 1/2 of a dark chocolate candy bar with my wine.

I couldn't do another loading day. I feel awful when I eat like that, but I know that not getting the fat and calories in for at least two days means hunger for up to a week once the Very Low Calorie Intake (VLCI) begins. I've done it both ways, and I regretted not loading. So, anyway, I started my protocol days today instead of tomorrow.

Now, I know people who put away a lot more than this for loading days, but for me, this was stuffing myself to discomfort. The loading days are about loading with fat, not sugar, but the things I typically like and would miss have both. However, I did notice this time that lots of things didn't taste good to me anymore because I hadn't had them since my last loading day over 4 months ago.

So anyway, today, By 11:30 am I was hungry. I'd had 3 cups of coffee with stevia and about 1 liter of water. For lunch I had 100 g. chicken, 1 cup of cabbage with lemon and mustard, and 3/4 of an apple. I was full so I gave the other 1/4 to Dave and skipped my melba toast. I've had almost another liter of water as well.

I've done this so many times, I didn't count the calories. I'm not worried about not reaching 250 calories for this meal by skipping the melba. I'd estimate the apple to be large, so even with giving part of it away, I'd have to be pretty close to the 250 calories. And I'm full. I'm not going to stuff myself just to hit that mark.

If I wouldn't have cut the apple while the cabbage was steaming, I might have skipped that too and maybe had it in the afternoon if I got hungry before dinner. If that should happen, I'll have an apple (or 1/2 grapefruit, or maybe some cucumber) and just take whatever I eat away from the evening meal so the daily portions and selections are the same.

So, that's what it looks like so far today.

2:17 pm

Not feeling hungry exactly, but empty. I guess for 20 years I've lived at 'hungry' so often, with my stomach growling, a gnawing pain, headaches and shakiness, that for me, this isn't hungry. I wonder sometimes if when people say they are hungry, they really are, or they just think they are because they aren't full.

Also, I think there is sometimes a routine that needs to be broken. We are creatures of habit. We eat at the same time every day, or we have a glass of wine while reading a book, or we have a certain meal on a certain day; these things can be felt as 'hunger' when they are really just expectations our body or mind may have. It can take a few days to change those expectations.

That's why journaling is so important. Looking within to see if this is a NEED or a WANT can help determine the difference.

Like right now, I'm going to have some decaf coffee and another bottle of water. I will play Wii for awhile and see if the distraction and the water remove the 'empty'. If not, I'll have 1/2 of a grapefruit, because I'll recognize that as hunger, and dinner won't be for another 3 hours. Because I'm going to exercise, I may even have that melba that I didn't have with lunch. We'll see.

5:30 pm

I did get a little over an hour of Wii in, so I did have that grissini (thin italian bread stick) as an afternoon snack. For dinner I just had 100g of tenderloin steak, grilled, with 8 rosemary scented asparagus stalks and a grissini. I was full, so I didn't eat my 1/2 grapefruit. I figure I may want it later.