Day 6

I weighed in at 5:30 am today because I have to be out the door earlier. When I weigh in earlier, I weigh more. Knowing that does not make a small loss like .4 lb. any more exciting.

Yes, I was disappointed. Those first days are great, and when it slows down, it is disappointing. I wouldn't have expected a slow down just yet; usually it's after the first week or two. But like I said, it was early. Tomorrow may be a big release just because today's shows up tomorrow.

I did get in 1/2 hour of Wii last night, and did eat my 1/2 grapefruit before bed.

Now a word about motivation:

I love yoga and Wii games and even step aerobics (sometimes). I love riding bike and hiking and used to love roller skating...until I broke my arm doing it. I really loved my treadmill and want another in the worst way. I even like free weights.

I enjoyed these things even when I was huge. I did them regularly...in spurts. Because I'd like anyone to strap two bowling bags on each leg, and another 3 or 4 to their back and tell me it's fun to do that stuff under those conditions, no matter how much you enjoy the activity. Now, add in some idiot riding behind your bike in a car and 'mooing' or following you making comments about how your dog should walk you more. Nice.

Are some fat people lazy? Absolutely. Do some fat people just simply eat massive quantities of food? Certainly. I've perused HCG lists for the last year, and once in a while I find someone who says something like, "Help! I 'cheated' last night and had four margaritas, 4 pieces of pizza, a package of cookies, a quart of ice cream and nachos. What do I do?" Helloo! That's not a 'cheat'. That's a binge! I wouldn't eat over six months, let alone a night!

So yes, some people are fat because they eat too much and don't move much. Some aren't. I know a lot of sanctimonious thin people who don't want to believe that, but it's true. Some people get fat because of an injury that doesn't allow them to move, or because they end up on medication that puts on weight, or because they were raised with poor nutrition and it finally caught up with them. Then because they are big and tired, they don't enjoy the movement they used to enjoy...or when they do make the effort (and make no mistake, it isn't just tying on some shoes and skipping out the door) people humiliate them.

Being overweight is so complex. It isn't just about your body, and it isn't always about food. Really. I just thought that was important for people to know.

7:30 am

I'm almost ready to head out the door, but thought I'd post quickly, since I'm sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.

I just had about 10 macadamia nuts. I've been up a couple of hours now, and had my shower which was hotter than usual and likely longer.(The heat felt so good!). When I got out, not only was I light-headed, but HUNGRY...as in nauseated and painful tummy hungry. I know I won't get home from work to eat my lunch until about 1 I think, and I didn't want my apple yet because I may need it mid-morning. If I ate it now, it would wear off long before I get home.

Macs work for some people, but not others. It's one of those 'tweeks' that may be necessary for some people on occasion. When I tried them in the past, I didn't stall. In fact, if I ate them in the morning for just this reason, I found I released more the next day. I can't eat them every day, but in an emergency. And I may drop my melba or grissinos to try to mitigate the calorie damage a bit.

I don't like the way this first round is going so far...it's slow and it's much harder than it was for rounds 1 and 4. Perhaps even harder than rounds 2 and 3, which really presented challenges, unlike the first and last ones, which I would have actually deemed 'easy'. However, it would be unfair to say it's always easy, all the time. Not only are their days when it's a bit of work, each round is different.

I hope this one doesn't hold many days like this.

We'll see how the rest of the day goes. It's always an adventure!

12:30 pm

I'm starting to wonder if I'm coming down with something (I certainly have been exposed to stuff!) and perhaps that's why I was hungry? I'm not feeling fantastic...headache, tired. Could be hunger, but I've eaten my lunch, had my water, and my tummy doesn't feel hungry. And I'm a little achy. While hunger is certainly a possibility considering, it hasn't been typical for me on the program. Even when I am hungry, like I was this am, it goes away with food.

However, if I have a bug trying to get me, I would be dragged out and it would make me hungry as my body fights it. Stress can do that too. Doing too much can as well. I don't think I did too much yesterday, and I don't think I'm stressed. Although my day is broken up really weird, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get done all the things that need to get done.

I guess we'll see what happens. If the achy goes away with yoga, I'd say stress. If it goes away with a nap or a hot bath, I'd say bug.

6:30 pm or so

By 5 pm I was so hungry it occurred to me that perhaps I had waited too long to use my hCG, even though the expiration was fine. (One of the benefits of going through a clinic is always knowing the product is freshly compounded, but I still had some from last year, so I used it.) But then Dave came home and said he had been starving all day too, as had several clients. Maybe it's not just me? Who knows what it could be? I can't see one constant amongst the variables.

Anyway, for dinner I had 100g grilled steak, a salad (lettuce), a grissini and some water; now I'm full. I'll have the grapefruit later. We are thinking about going bowling or having a Wii tourney, so maybe after that.

I have to say, I had a weird urge to go out tonight. I wanted to do to something, do have a drink and be just...out. We don't go out much, so it was odd.

Then Dave made bacon with his steak. My favorite way to eat steak is with bacon and blue cheese. That's one of the things I've maintained on over the last year. But I couldn't have any. I didn't like that much.

10:30 pm

Bowled my best game ever! (The next two games, not so good.)

Haven't been hungry enough to eat the other half of the grapefruit, and now it's too late I think.

I have had two pieces of sugar free-gum today. I do have to deal with people and kiss my husband. It is not approved by Dr. Simeons, but he didn't have the same options we have today re: sugar-free gum. Sometimes, you just have to make a judgment call.