This is me December, 2009 after releasing 75 lb.
What I won't post are the 'before' pictures, although I've been told I should. It is impressive to have a visual of the difference between 210 lb. on a 5'1" frame and the same frame 75 lb. lighter.
However, I don't see ME when I look at those old pictures. Although I lived at various stages of fat for the last 20 years or so, it wasn't me. Only someone who has been there can understand what I mean when I say that's not who I was in my head. I was in a big old fat suit from which I could not escape. The toll that takes on the psyche is something I can't explain either.
Especially hard was that I did all the 'right' things to lose weight. Of course, in desperation I also did a lot of wrong things, too. Neither worked for me. It's crazy-making to be doing what 'everybody' says you are supposed to do and still not get results. It's crazy-making to keep getting fatter when you are eating reasonable amounts of healthy foods and still gaining. It's crazy-making to be walking miles a day, doing yoga, lifting free weights and roller blading, and having people tell you you'd lose weight if you were just more active...like 2-3 hours a day isn't enough. It's crazy-making to have family and friends 'just concerned about your health' when you have spent less on health care in 10 years than they have in 1 because you ARE healthy...but are not seen as such because if you are obese, of course you can't be. It's crazy-making to take a nutrition class, keeping charts of your movement and every morsel of food that's passed your lips, only to be told you must be lying because there is no way you could not lose weight if you really moved that much and ate that little.
Then there was the stupidity out of sheer desperation...Eat all the carbs you want, but no fat? Did it. Eat all the protein you want but no carbs? Did it. Eat nothing but nasty tasting protein shakes? Did it. Appetite suppressants? Fat absorbing pills? Did it, did it.
Dispersed between the years of damn near killing myself, there were times of despondency where I just couldn't do it any more...why weigh yourself if the scale only goes up? Why exercise and deprive yourself of food if it doesn't seem to matter at all? During these times of trying to just 'accept myself the way I am as long as I'm healthy' I just kept getting bigger, because of course the cognitive dissonance of doing what I should be doing but not looking like I should look was depressing the hell out of me, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Twenty years I'd wasted doing essentially the same things. Several doctors over that time said I was perfectly healthy, which messed with my head. How could I be healthy if my body didn't work the way they said it should? Wasn't there one more test they could do? Wasn't there some hormonal imbalance or something they should check? No, they said, just eat less and exercise more.
At the height of my misery a friend asked if I'd looked into the hCG protocol. I had not, but began to do so the moment I got off the phone with her. For about a month I researched everything I could about the protocol and about hCG. I watched dozens of YouTube videos, read websites, and visited my online university library to scope out everything I could about hCG.
The protocol was offered through several websites and clinics, but at anywhere from $3000-$6000 from what I was seeing. Insurance doesn't cover it because weight loss is 'off-label use' which means doctors can certainly prescribe it for weight loss, but it has not been FDA approved for that use. (It is approved at much higher doses for fertility and other uses.) That meant I've have to come up with perhaps 10k to lose as much as I needed to lose. That was not an option.
To do it myself, without medical supervision, meant I'd have to order from an overseas pharmacy and gather all the information to do it from a variety of sources. It meant I'd have to take a risk. But wasn't that what I was already doing with every yo-yo cycle? My fat was going to kill me one way or the other. I'd missed out on years of my life just hiding from people.
Make no mistake; it was scary. Of course I asked myself how safe the hCG might be. Of course I thought that losing a pound per day was impossible, that I'd never survive on 500 calories per day. It was all too good to be true. Of course part of my brain said it was unhealthy to lose a pound or two per day...and then I'd remember the people who said that were the same people who had contributed to my current problem with the 'wisdom' they insisted was absolute and universal truth.
I was sure I'd be starving, grumpy and dragged out on 500 calories per day, because I had been before on 800 or 900 calories a day. I knew there was a chance if it did work, it could be due to the placebo effect. I didn't care. If it worked, I didn't care how. So I jumped.
I released 13 lb. in the first two weeks. By the end of the first 'round' (typically lasting 40 days) I was 30 lb. lighter.
After a 'rest' where I simply maintained that weight, effortlessly I might add, I did another round. I made some mistakes in my exuberance to continue too fast for that round and the next. I released 20 lb. in the 40 days total between the two, though. This was better than any previous attempt, but disappointing after the first round. Still, I was packing up clothes to take to Goodwill every few weeks. I was just shrinking out of them so fast!
It was around this time that when I'd run into people I knew they often didn't recognize me. This was the case at a wellness center where I had worked with hypnosis clients. I'd been there for about a year and a half, and the doctor who referred clients to me for chronic pain issues didn't know who I was when we ran into each other in the hall.
I decided perhaps since he'd seen the results already, maybe he'd be willing to offer this program to people. Like I said, the programs I had sought out through physicians were prohibitively expensive. I hoped we could put together a program at a price that would be within reach of those who needed to be closely monitored if they were to even consider it.
He spent several weeks researching it on his own, and then agreed we could. I had spent that time coming up with the intellectual material required to support clients through the protocol. This was a synthesis of what I had sought out independently for my own benefit, but also included were some life coaching/mentoring techniques I had adapted from my other job as a childbirth educator.
I was appointed the Real Weight Release(TM) program coordinator and our program launched in November 2009. By the end of December 2009, our clients had released over 300 lb.
There are those who insist that hCG doesn't work, that it's a scam or placebo. To that I have to say: "Those who say it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the people doing it." [Chinese Proverb] I have reclaimed my authentic self and learned a great deal about how my body works by following Dr. Simeons protocol. There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful he was willing to think creatively and develop this program.
On the web there are dozens of people now offering kits and mentoring for those that must, for one reason or another, go this alone. I am now tossing my hat into that ring.
I love my job with Fox Valley Wellness Center, don't get me wrong. Seeing people begin the program and then six weeks later hardly being able to recognize them because they have lost 25 or 35 lb. (and have found their self-respect)...well, that's the best thing in the world.
And the reason that I approached the Center with this is that I agree 100% that there are some people who should NOT attempt this without medical supervision. I am happy to say that if people live anywhere near Fond du Lac, WI, there is now an affordable way to do this program and be monitored.
Realistically, however, I know there are some who won't find such support locally; people who would never benefit from this protocol if the only way available to them were financially or geographically out of reach.
If there seems to be interest in it, I'll post again with some PayPal payment options. Knowing that some would require only the bare bones of 'tell me where to look' while others need mentoring and support throughout, I'll offer my time in 15 minute increments. I'll also post here the resources that I used to get started, as well as resources I run across while continuing my research. For self-starters, that may be enough to get going.
I wanted to share my story, lengthy though it is, because I know there are others like me. This experience has led me to many discoveries I think may be helpful to them. I hope so.
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