Seriously, another .7 day! I'm stunned. I've never had the same exact loss every single day.
Today is my 'skip day'. In order to avoid having the hypothalamus stop recognizing the hCG (which it tends to do around 6 weeks in the amounts we use since we aren't pregnant) we skip one day per week. Everything else looks exactly the same as far as the 500 calories and all the other rules, just no hCG.
However, it takes three days in and three days out, remember, so there is no difference in how you feel or anything.
Last night I stayed up until about 11-11:30. Got up today around 8:30. I never ate my grapefruit. I wasn't very hungry for it, but that's not why I skipped it: I had more chocolate delight and didn't want to go over calorie. Yes, I probably needed the fiber more than the chocolate, but I've been craving it. I'm not supposed to be PMSing right now, but I might be. The hCG throws off the cycle sometimes as you release estrogen that's been trapped in the fat. (If you are female and cycling of course.)
So that's it...same old boring stuff, but progress none-the-less. Not quite a lb. per day, but averaging close to it. By my calculations it's 12.3 lb. for the two weeks, but again that first week was funky.
In times past it was a good 3-4 weeks before I started feeling bored or deprived in any way. I'm already wishing this were over. But the encouragement on the scale every day helps. I know that at some point over the next month there will be zero days, or even little gains once in a while, followed by bigger releases. I just have to keep going as long as it will let me.
Later
It's about dinnertime, but I haven't decided what I want yet, and I'm not really that hungry. I should just go ahead and start it before I get hungry. It will be one of the variations that is typical for me. Probably exactly what I had for lunch, actually. I had a grapefruit around 10 am, chicken and lettuce with a grissini around noon I think.
About 3 pm I did 1/2 hour of Vinyassa Yoga. I haven't decided if I'll do Wii too. Probably though. I will likely take a hot bath and retire early since I have to get up pretty early too.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Day 14
Another .7 lb. gone! Honestly, I'm amazed at the consistency. I like it better than the up-and-down that I know usually follows, but I am surprised at it. Of course, I'd love one or more of those 1 or 2 or 3 lb. days like my husband has, but I'll take slow (comparatively) and steady. He's not even on protocol, and he lost 3 lb. today! He did that last week too. He's only 1 lb. away from a weight he hasn't seen for probably 30 years.
I guess that's a logical segue to a subject I've been meaning to blog about...
Considering I've been doing this for about a year, I've encountered many people who are also trying to lose weight (and I'm making the distinction between that and people who are releasing weight). Some of these people are friends who know what I'm doing, but for whatever reason are hesitant to do it. I don't quite understand it: if you are a woman who has been pregnant, you have spent months of your life with far, far, FAR more hCG in your system for far longer periods of time than what is used in this program...and you lived to tell the tale. But hey, to each his own.
In any event, one innocent comment by one of these people shed some light on another thought: Some people consider this 'cheating'.
Now, the person who made the comment I'm about to share didn't say it in malice, and I took no offense; mainly because a big old light blub going off in my head was distracting me.
She was looking wonderful from the hard work of diet and exercise she's been doing for months and I told her so. I asked how it was going, and she said, "Well, you know, it's hard work. It's slow. I see you making quicker progress and I wonder if I should do what you are doing. But then I think, at least I'm doing it all by myself."
I'm positive that she didn't have a clue that the implication was then that I wasn't doing it myself; that I was receiving an undeserved reward that I did not earn.
There are several assumptions in such a comment. And I could have chosen to take offense, BTW, but like I said, it sent wheels churning in my head so fast there wasn't time, but also I know that my own feelings are my own, and I have a choice to read something into that or not. I chose not because this young lady is a sweetie, and even if she wasn't her assumptions, beliefs and perceptions are not my problem.
But I digress. Ok, the assumptions are:
So, taking each one of these assumptions alone, let's explore, shall we?
We are an obese nation. What we 'know' isn't so, as evidenced by the fact that we keep doing the same things and expecting different results...which is the definition of insanity.
Do we eat crap? Yes. Most people do not have clue one what real food actually is. They eat stuff out of boxes or from fast food places that make them fat, no doubt. Do we move less than our ancestors? Absolutely. Kids don't play outside any more. We watch too much TV. I won't dispute any of that. But the origins of fat go much deeper. We know that the roots of obesity lie in the womb and early childhood nutrition choices. Lack of diet and exercise in childhood just adds insult to injury. Then as adults, we compound the problem with all the bad advice and poor decision making on a whole host of stuff that would seem unrelated...like stress management and over medication. (But that is an entirely different post.)
Thus, coming from a place where we are pre-programed to be fat, we can see that while our choices and ignorance about nutrition pack on pounds, it's not always simply fat people are lazy, gluttonous, out-of-control folks. I won't argue that some people got fat for exactly that reason, but not everyone.
For those people who have remained active, who have eaten reasonable portions...sometimes even smaller portions than their thin friends...who eat healthy foods, this is the solution to their problem. It fixes what was broke and keeps it fixed as long as the person continues to make good choices. Will it will work for those people who eat massive amounts of junk and sit in front of the TV? Yes...for those that stick to it for the duration of the program. HOWEVER, if they go back to what they did before, they will get what they got before. Will it work for people who just need to lose that last 10 or 20 lb.? Maybe. Maybe not. It is a self-limiting process. The hypothalamus will not allow a person to release more than about 10-15% of their body weight, or go beyond a healthy weight, no matter much the person wants to.
For these people, like my husband, who have never had to think about calories, or who drop 3 lbs. from a night of basketball, it is cheating to try this, so I understand why people would look at it that way. People who create advertising for weight loss supplements know that people think this way, that's why they 'warn': this product is ONLY for people who are seriously obese and have at least 20 lb. to lose". They know that people will think, "If it works for really fat people, it will work even better and more easily for me." The difference is that it really is true with this program. But hey, if people want to throw their money away and give it a go, it's just 3 months out of their life. That's none of my business.
So, going back to my husband. His entire life, he never once thought about what he put in his mouth or how many calories or fat he consumed. If he gained a little bit, he exercised more...and off dropped the weight. Simple.
He saw me struggle for years. He'd exercise with me and eat the things I ate...and drop weight so fast (while I remained exactly the same) that he finally stopped trying to 'help' me by being my weight loss buddy because it only served to send me into a tailspin.
Fast forward a few years through stress and a sedentary job with lots of travel that requires eating out a lot. He's about 40 lb. heavier than the weight he's comfortable with. He's 54 years old, and for the first time in his life, losing weight isn't so easy. He struggles for a few months and loses 5 lb. and then decides maybe he should see what I've been experiencing for 9 months. He begins the protocol, learns more than he ever thought possible about his body, about calories, and about food. He loses about 30 lb. (The total was 40, but he's guessing how much was lost before, during and after.) Once he stabilizes at what is now much closer to his optimum weight, he increases his exercise and watches what he eats. He loses 5 more lbs. on his own. His body is working like it did before. He's got his hummingbird metabolism back (or his tapeworm, as his friends used to joke). However, he's more aware now and feels that even when the tapeworm is sleeping ;-) and the pounds want to slip back on, he can maintain this new size. As a matter of fact, he knows immediately after eating something if he's going to need to add some time to his exercise routine, because he can feel it wanting to deposit in his belly.
Finally, the idea that if we are to have good things we must suffer and sacrifice. This one is a cultural thing, and it isn't limited to just weight release. In our culture, a person who has success, prosperity or successful weight release easily is cheating or lucky, with the implication being that perhaps they are undeserving because you shouldn't get something unless you pay the dues.
Bluntly, I believe that's horse shit.
The universe is generous and abundant. I accept the gifts of the universe and follow where I'm led. That is not an 'air fairy' denial that bad things happen or that the world is anything other than it is. Good and bad are judgments we make...the world just is. But I do believe that we have the ability to manifest the reality we want and it doesn't require sacrifice. It does require effort, and the willingness to see and recognize opportunity before us, and sometimes patience. But my reward of fitting into a rockin' outfit is no less sweet because I didn't deprive and nearly kill myself to do it, although some might say the last 20 years I did that WAS my dues. I don't look at it that way. I see it as I finally found out how I could fix what was broke and did it. Period. While it was the easiest thing I ever did, some might not find it so.
Now onto daily concerns...
Last night I came home and had a big salad with chicken and Asian Walden farms, along with a grissini, followed by a cup of strawberries. Later I did have chocolate delight. I also got 1/2 hour of Wii in.
I went to bed around 9:30 and slept for TWELVE HOURS. I do love my sleep. I always have.
This morning I've had coffee and 1/2 grapefruit. I'm about to have another salad with different Walden Farms...maybe. Or I might do the cabbage with mustard and lemon. I haven't decided. Tonight, we feast on the steak and asparagus we were going to have last night. Boring I know. I have a small repertoire that keeps me happy most of the time.
Someone called me 'tiny' yesterday! :-) I also had to put a bunch of stuff into the Goodwill pile. Some things I really liked, but they just don't look right anymore because they are so big. Some stuff was on the edge, but I know by the time I would wear it again, it wouldn't fit.
That's it in a nutshell I suppose.
5 pm
We just ate early so that DH could go take pictures of the full moon rising. We did have the steak and asparagus and I had a bread stick. I'm saving my 1/2 grapefruit for later (I'm pretty sure that's what I'll have for my fruit) since we ate so early.
We went out for a walk as it was a balmy 14 degrees and sunny. We probably walked about 3 miles. It felt good, but damn it was cold! Now I'm not sure if I want to Wii for my 1/2 hour tonight (or try to beat Dave at some Wii games...though he's getting really good!) or take a hot bath with a good book, which I would guess would put me out like a light. Not that I mind sleeping at all. :-) We have a couple of movies we could watch too. When he gets back we'll see what sounds good to him.
I've probably had all my water at this point, but I'm drinking extra because I've also had coffee all day, and since it's a diuretic you need more water. I'd prefer a glass of wine, but that will have to wait about another 2 months.
I dreamed of food again last night. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. That's two days in a row. Last night it was about strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and sprinkles, and half way through one I thought, "Oh shit! I can't have this! There's hCG in my system! It's going to set me back a week or more!" and then I woke up, and was very glad I hadn't actually eating something.
Oh, and the infrared sauna felt heavenly yesterday! I only stayed in for 15 minutes because I wanted to see what my tolerance was. I didn't even break a sweat...and then just barely...until the last 3 minutes, so I'm thinking I can go a full half hour. I'll try next week. In any case, I'm going to suggest this luxury to everyone I know!
I guess that's a logical segue to a subject I've been meaning to blog about...
Considering I've been doing this for about a year, I've encountered many people who are also trying to lose weight (and I'm making the distinction between that and people who are releasing weight). Some of these people are friends who know what I'm doing, but for whatever reason are hesitant to do it. I don't quite understand it: if you are a woman who has been pregnant, you have spent months of your life with far, far, FAR more hCG in your system for far longer periods of time than what is used in this program...and you lived to tell the tale. But hey, to each his own.
In any event, one innocent comment by one of these people shed some light on another thought: Some people consider this 'cheating'.
Now, the person who made the comment I'm about to share didn't say it in malice, and I took no offense; mainly because a big old light blub going off in my head was distracting me.
She was looking wonderful from the hard work of diet and exercise she's been doing for months and I told her so. I asked how it was going, and she said, "Well, you know, it's hard work. It's slow. I see you making quicker progress and I wonder if I should do what you are doing. But then I think, at least I'm doing it all by myself."
I'm positive that she didn't have a clue that the implication was then that I wasn't doing it myself; that I was receiving an undeserved reward that I did not earn.
There are several assumptions in such a comment. And I could have chosen to take offense, BTW, but like I said, it sent wheels churning in my head so fast there wasn't time, but also I know that my own feelings are my own, and I have a choice to read something into that or not. I chose not because this young lady is a sweetie, and even if she wasn't her assumptions, beliefs and perceptions are not my problem.
But I digress. Ok, the assumptions are:
~Diet and exercise always work for everyone, and the current traditional 'wisdom' is a sustainable solution for everyone (this one is a two-fer, because underlying this thinking is that people who are fat just eat too much and don't exercise...a lie that even active overweight people buy into when they know they are not eating too much or are not eating junk...it's drilled into our heads)
~This is a 'short cut', or even a solution for slackers because...
~Anything worthwhile requires hard work and sacrifice.
So, taking each one of these assumptions alone, let's explore, shall we?
We are an obese nation. What we 'know' isn't so, as evidenced by the fact that we keep doing the same things and expecting different results...which is the definition of insanity.
Do we eat crap? Yes. Most people do not have clue one what real food actually is. They eat stuff out of boxes or from fast food places that make them fat, no doubt. Do we move less than our ancestors? Absolutely. Kids don't play outside any more. We watch too much TV. I won't dispute any of that. But the origins of fat go much deeper. We know that the roots of obesity lie in the womb and early childhood nutrition choices. Lack of diet and exercise in childhood just adds insult to injury. Then as adults, we compound the problem with all the bad advice and poor decision making on a whole host of stuff that would seem unrelated...like stress management and over medication. (But that is an entirely different post.)
Thus, coming from a place where we are pre-programed to be fat, we can see that while our choices and ignorance about nutrition pack on pounds, it's not always simply fat people are lazy, gluttonous, out-of-control folks. I won't argue that some people got fat for exactly that reason, but not everyone.
For those people who have remained active, who have eaten reasonable portions...sometimes even smaller portions than their thin friends...who eat healthy foods, this is the solution to their problem. It fixes what was broke and keeps it fixed as long as the person continues to make good choices. Will it will work for those people who eat massive amounts of junk and sit in front of the TV? Yes...for those that stick to it for the duration of the program. HOWEVER, if they go back to what they did before, they will get what they got before. Will it work for people who just need to lose that last 10 or 20 lb.? Maybe. Maybe not. It is a self-limiting process. The hypothalamus will not allow a person to release more than about 10-15% of their body weight, or go beyond a healthy weight, no matter much the person wants to.
For these people, like my husband, who have never had to think about calories, or who drop 3 lbs. from a night of basketball, it is cheating to try this, so I understand why people would look at it that way. People who create advertising for weight loss supplements know that people think this way, that's why they 'warn': this product is ONLY for people who are seriously obese and have at least 20 lb. to lose". They know that people will think, "If it works for really fat people, it will work even better and more easily for me." The difference is that it really is true with this program. But hey, if people want to throw their money away and give it a go, it's just 3 months out of their life. That's none of my business.
So, going back to my husband. His entire life, he never once thought about what he put in his mouth or how many calories or fat he consumed. If he gained a little bit, he exercised more...and off dropped the weight. Simple.
He saw me struggle for years. He'd exercise with me and eat the things I ate...and drop weight so fast (while I remained exactly the same) that he finally stopped trying to 'help' me by being my weight loss buddy because it only served to send me into a tailspin.
Fast forward a few years through stress and a sedentary job with lots of travel that requires eating out a lot. He's about 40 lb. heavier than the weight he's comfortable with. He's 54 years old, and for the first time in his life, losing weight isn't so easy. He struggles for a few months and loses 5 lb. and then decides maybe he should see what I've been experiencing for 9 months. He begins the protocol, learns more than he ever thought possible about his body, about calories, and about food. He loses about 30 lb. (The total was 40, but he's guessing how much was lost before, during and after.) Once he stabilizes at what is now much closer to his optimum weight, he increases his exercise and watches what he eats. He loses 5 more lbs. on his own. His body is working like it did before. He's got his hummingbird metabolism back (or his tapeworm, as his friends used to joke). However, he's more aware now and feels that even when the tapeworm is sleeping ;-) and the pounds want to slip back on, he can maintain this new size. As a matter of fact, he knows immediately after eating something if he's going to need to add some time to his exercise routine, because he can feel it wanting to deposit in his belly.
Finally, the idea that if we are to have good things we must suffer and sacrifice. This one is a cultural thing, and it isn't limited to just weight release. In our culture, a person who has success, prosperity or successful weight release easily is cheating or lucky, with the implication being that perhaps they are undeserving because you shouldn't get something unless you pay the dues.
Bluntly, I believe that's horse shit.
The universe is generous and abundant. I accept the gifts of the universe and follow where I'm led. That is not an 'air fairy' denial that bad things happen or that the world is anything other than it is. Good and bad are judgments we make...the world just is. But I do believe that we have the ability to manifest the reality we want and it doesn't require sacrifice. It does require effort, and the willingness to see and recognize opportunity before us, and sometimes patience. But my reward of fitting into a rockin' outfit is no less sweet because I didn't deprive and nearly kill myself to do it, although some might say the last 20 years I did that WAS my dues. I don't look at it that way. I see it as I finally found out how I could fix what was broke and did it. Period. While it was the easiest thing I ever did, some might not find it so.
Now onto daily concerns...
Last night I came home and had a big salad with chicken and Asian Walden farms, along with a grissini, followed by a cup of strawberries. Later I did have chocolate delight. I also got 1/2 hour of Wii in.
I went to bed around 9:30 and slept for TWELVE HOURS.
This morning I've had coffee and 1/2 grapefruit. I'm about to have another salad with different Walden Farms...maybe. Or I might do the cabbage with mustard and lemon. I haven't decided. Tonight, we feast on the steak and asparagus we were going to have last night. Boring I know. I have a small repertoire that keeps me happy most of the time.
Someone called me 'tiny' yesterday! :-) I also had to put a bunch of stuff into the Goodwill pile. Some things I really liked, but they just don't look right anymore because they are so big. Some stuff was on the edge, but I know by the time I would wear it again, it wouldn't fit.
That's it in a nutshell I suppose.
5 pm
We just ate early so that DH could go take pictures of the full moon rising. We did have the steak and asparagus and I had a bread stick. I'm saving my 1/2 grapefruit for later (I'm pretty sure that's what I'll have for my fruit) since we ate so early.
We went out for a walk as it was a balmy 14 degrees and sunny. We probably walked about 3 miles. It felt good, but damn it was cold! Now I'm not sure if I want to Wii for my 1/2 hour tonight (or try to beat Dave at some Wii games...though he's getting really good!) or take a hot bath with a good book, which I would guess would put me out like a light. Not that I mind sleeping at all. :-) We have a couple of movies we could watch too. When he gets back we'll see what sounds good to him.
I've probably had all my water at this point, but I'm drinking extra because I've also had coffee all day, and since it's a diuretic you need more water. I'd prefer a glass of wine, but that will have to wait about another 2 months.
I dreamed of food again last night. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. That's two days in a row. Last night it was about strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and sprinkles, and half way through one I thought, "Oh shit! I can't have this! There's hCG in my system! It's going to set me back a week or more!" and then I woke up, and was very glad I hadn't actually eating something.
Oh, and the infrared sauna felt heavenly yesterday! I only stayed in for 15 minutes because I wanted to see what my tolerance was. I didn't even break a sweat...and then just barely...until the last 3 minutes, so I'm thinking I can go a full half hour. I'll try next week. In any case, I'm going to suggest this luxury to everyone I know!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Day 13
It's about 6:30 am and I've been up for an hour. I've had two cups of coffee and a shower, but before that I weighed in, with a result of another .7 drop. That's a release of 10.9 lb. in 13 days, even with the slow start.
Today I'll take coffee with stevia, water and my lunch of chicken, an apple and a bread stick. Maybe I'll take salad. I haven't decided yet. If I don't take my lettuce, I'll have it when I get home, because I'll eat the second meal later today. On Friday and Saturdays I try to stretch it out because I stay up later (usually) and I don't want to get up later.
Speaking of sleep, I went to bed a little before 9 pm last night, read just a little and dropped into a deep and restful sleep. I woke up this morning feeling great, even though I did recall dreaming about food last night! :-)
The place where I work has an infrared sauna, and I think today I'm going to try it out and see what happens. I am the guinea pig for stuff like this, willingly. Massages are not allowed, but this seems like it would make sense for burning more fat. That's one of the things it is good for when people aren't on protocol. Clients who have infrared saunas have used them and reported that they do release more the day after...and it stays off.
I'm not currently cold, but sometimes on protocol, even though internal and external temperatures are normal, there is a sensation of being cold. I actually wonder if there is some hormonal thing going on akin to what teens go through, since my teen dau is always cold, and I remember going through the same thing.
Anyway, I've taken a hot bath during those times (being careful, because it's your PERCEPTION of heat and cold that's off...if you stay in too long, you'll get dizzy!) and lost big time weight.
The infrared should be better, because it goes deep into the fat without the breathless feeling in a regular sauna (no humidity).
The addition of hypnosis I KNOW is valuable to the program. I think this will be. I just want to experience it for myself. I'll report back.
Today I'll take coffee with stevia, water and my lunch of chicken, an apple and a bread stick. Maybe I'll take salad. I haven't decided yet. If I don't take my lettuce, I'll have it when I get home, because I'll eat the second meal later today. On Friday and Saturdays I try to stretch it out because I stay up later (usually) and I don't want to get up later.
Speaking of sleep, I went to bed a little before 9 pm last night, read just a little and dropped into a deep and restful sleep. I woke up this morning feeling great, even though I did recall dreaming about food last night! :-)
The place where I work has an infrared sauna, and I think today I'm going to try it out and see what happens. I am the guinea pig for stuff like this, willingly.
I'm not currently cold, but sometimes on protocol, even though internal and external temperatures are normal, there is a sensation of being cold. I actually wonder if there is some hormonal thing going on akin to what teens go through, since my teen dau is always cold, and I remember going through the same thing.
Anyway, I've taken a hot bath during those times (being careful, because it's your PERCEPTION of heat and cold that's off...if you stay in too long, you'll get dizzy!) and lost big time weight.
The infrared should be better, because it goes deep into the fat without the breathless feeling in a regular sauna (no humidity).
The addition of hypnosis I KNOW is valuable to the program. I think this will be. I just want to experience it for myself. I'll report back.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Day 12
Down .7 today. That's down 10.2 in 12 days. It would have been a lot better had I not messed up that first week, but I'll take it.
I slept really well; actually slept in longer than I wanted 5:45 am instead of 5:30). I have a super busy day and I want to get a jump on it.
Because I won't have much time between appointments from the time I step into the office until the time I leave, I'm taking two full protocol meals in forms that will allow me to nibble all day. I shouldn't have to eat that second meal at work, but if I get caught longer than I usually do, or if being so busy burns fuel faster, I want to have what I need to keep going.
Let's see...last night. I didn't get home until about 7 pm. I hadn't been hungry at all after my lunch, so I didn't even think about eating. By the time I got home, I didn't want to eat a full meal and go to bed still digesting that, so I ended up with the same basic situation I had the night before. I didn't end up eating all of the meal. I ate the protein, because that's the most important part, and I had the bread stick. I should have picked the veggie or fruit, but I just didn't feel like cutting stuff up or cooking. The chicken piece was a little bigger than 100g (perhaps 120-130g) so I probably got the calories, but I should have had something with fiber and other essential nutrients. Oh well. I'll do better today.
7 pm
Dave is on the Wii so I'm warming up with a cuppa and a nice fire. It's single digits here currently and the cold seems to seep into the bones. I'll get a little Wii in after he's done, but I have to say, I'm about ready to curl up in bed with the Kindle and catch some zzzzs. It was a busy day and tomorrow looks to be about the same.
I have to say though, I work with the best group of caring and wonderful people! I love my job! I like being around the people I work with, and I LOVE that the clients come in so excited about the changes in their lives and looking so fantastic!
So anyway, the day went pretty much like I thought it would. I ended up bringing my second meal home to eat, except for the cucumber slices. I nibbled those all afternoon. I've been comfortable all day, got all my water in, and feel pretty good about what I'll find tomorrow when I get on the scale.
The only thing that I'm wondering about is the strawberries: they were frozen. The package did not list sugar...just strawberries. But they tasted too sweet, and once thawed seemed to be in a syrup. I'll know tomorrow, because it will totally throw me off if there was sugar on them. You'd think they'd have to list that honestly on the label, right?
I'm starting to get to the point where I think no one is going to continue to read this until I find something interesting to research and explore, because my life is really boring! So, I'll include a little tidbit on the hazards of evil sugar!
I slept really well; actually slept in longer than I wanted 5:45 am instead of 5:30). I have a super busy day and I want to get a jump on it.
Because I won't have much time between appointments from the time I step into the office until the time I leave, I'm taking two full protocol meals in forms that will allow me to nibble all day. I shouldn't have to eat that second meal at work, but if I get caught longer than I usually do, or if being so busy burns fuel faster, I want to have what I need to keep going.
Let's see...last night. I didn't get home until about 7 pm. I hadn't been hungry at all after my lunch, so I didn't even think about eating. By the time I got home, I didn't want to eat a full meal and go to bed still digesting that, so I ended up with the same basic situation I had the night before. I didn't end up eating all of the meal. I ate the protein, because that's the most important part, and I had the bread stick. I should have picked the veggie or fruit, but I just didn't feel like cutting stuff up or cooking. The chicken piece was a little bigger than 100g (perhaps 120-130g) so I probably got the calories, but I should have had something with fiber and other essential nutrients. Oh well. I'll do better today.
7 pm
Dave is on the Wii so I'm warming up with a cuppa and a nice fire. It's single digits here currently and the cold seems to seep into the bones. I'll get a little Wii in after he's done, but I have to say, I'm about ready to curl up in bed with the Kindle and catch some zzzzs. It was a busy day and tomorrow looks to be about the same.
I have to say though, I work with the best group of caring and wonderful people! I love my job! I like being around the people I work with, and I LOVE that the clients come in so excited about the changes in their lives and looking so fantastic!
So anyway, the day went pretty much like I thought it would. I ended up bringing my second meal home to eat, except for the cucumber slices. I nibbled those all afternoon. I've been comfortable all day, got all my water in, and feel pretty good about what I'll find tomorrow when I get on the scale.
The only thing that I'm wondering about is the strawberries: they were frozen. The package did not list sugar...just strawberries. But they tasted too sweet, and once thawed seemed to be in a syrup. I'll know tomorrow, because it will totally throw me off if there was sugar on them. You'd think they'd have to list that honestly on the label, right?
I'm starting to get to the point where I think no one is going to continue to read this until I find something interesting to research and explore, because my life is really boring! So, I'll include a little tidbit on the hazards of evil sugar!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Day 11
The day ended up yesterday with me collapsing in bed at 10:30 pm and sleeping like the living dead immediately. It was a long day! I did seem to get some things accomplished I guess.
I never did get around to eating my apple, which isn't a good thing. You really need to eat the 500 calories or something darn close to it, but I didn't want it until about 9:30, and by then I figured it was too late to eat it because eating that late...even if it something small, usually shows up as a gain in the morning.
I'm down .7 lb. this morning.
I should address the 'skip day' thing too, for anyone who has been reading about it elsewhere.
Typically, people who are doing sub Q injections skip one day a week. They do six injections and take the 7th day off. I like to keep my 'skip day' on the same day every time, Sunday, just because it's easier for me to remember. I started hCG on a Thursday, so obviously I'm not going to skip 3 days later on that Sunday. The point of skipping is to avoid immunity (when the hypothalamus stops recognizing the hCG). I'm not worried about that after 3 days. I would have then skipped last Sunday except that's when I realized that the hCG I had been using couldn't be effective and started the new stuff. (Technically, I suppose, that would be day one now, but whatever.)
So, I'll skip this Sunday.
And instead of saying '2 weeks down, 4 to go' I'm actually at a '1 week down, 5 to go' place, which doesn't make me exactly happy, but I'll deal.
Again last night, would have loved a glass of Merlot.
I'm not missing anything else though. Last night, someone brought Rice Crispie Treats and I didn't even want one. (In fact, my only thought was how horrible those are for you, especially for pregnant women.)
Yesterday, someone brought cookies to work and they were on the table. Today, someone brought banana bread. That didn't bother me. However, once again I was reminded of how the 'rules' are so different for fat people.
When we were discussing the program before launch, healthy thin people were very upset that Dr. Simeons would tell people to eat anything they want, especially lots of fats, during the loading days. The consensus was that you should never eat like that anyway, and to give people trying to lose weight permission to do so was irresponsible.
Having been fat, I explained there were two kinds of fat people...people who ate like that all the time anyway, and people who have been depriving themselves for years. When I loaded, I ate the things like donuts...which I love but had not allowed my self for, seriously, years. I ate pizza, and muffins and grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato bisque soup, for while there is a physiological point to the load, there is also a psychological benefit..so I ate foods I would miss or foods I never got to eat.
It was finally decided that if we were going to tell people to load up on fats, it should be good fats like olive oil, grapeseed oil, avocados, nuts, fatty fish like salmon, cheeses, etc. It was a concession I was willing to make, considering how horrified everyone seemed to be about people eating anything they wanted for two or three days.
But what I noticed over the next several weeks was what I noticed every single day of my life...the rules are different for skinny people. Every day when I went in to work (which at that point wasn't every day, but several times per week) someone had brought in muffins, or cookies, or cake. Lunch was brought in and there were yummy pizzas and subs. They'd say 'we don't usually eat like this, but it's my birthday,' or there was some other special occasion. Fat people can't do that without judgment. And wasn't that what the loading day was? A special occasion? If you are telling people that for the next 3 months (or more if it's round 2 or 3 or 4) they cannot have these things, why is it a problem to tell them they can have the things thin people can eat every day with impunity?
At family gatherings when I've voiced a preference for a beverage, I've had people suggest, 'Are you sure you don't want a diet soda?' No, actually. If I had wanted that I would have asked for it. And I've ordered the same exact thing at dinners that the thin people have ordered and eaten at the same table, only to have people comment on my plate 'wow, that's a lot of food'.
These are folks that care. Sharing these observations is not to cast aspersions, but to point out that the Pygmalion Effect is at work here, and thin people can delude themselves about how great their diet is as much as fat people do...it just may not show up on their ass for people to comment on.
Fat people face these types of things every day. I went to a BBQ once, and at the time I was a vegetarian. The ONLY thing there that didn't have meat in it was what I brought, which was pasta. The only thing on my plate was about 1-1.5 cups of this pasta...in one of those divided plates it look up the largest section. Granted, it was a big serving. But it was the only thing on the plate.
Some idiot friend of my husband's commented, "Wow, looks like someone likes pasta. A lot.' Smirk.
Now, his wife, a thin woman, had an overflowing plate with a little of everything. Twice. Nothing was said to her about her appetite.
In the grocery store, I've had a cart full of produce along with a birthday cake, only to have people look at the cake, and look at my butt and give me a dirty look like I should be ashamed of myself. Never mind that the assumption was that I was going to eat the cake when it wasn't even for me.
Insurance companies, employers and airlines want to punish fat people for being fat because it costs everyone else more...even though it doesn't in-and-of itself AND sometimes people aren't fat because they are gluttonous or lazy.
But lets assume all fat IS a matter of choice and lifestyle. With that logic, lets punish others the same way. Moms who formula feed cost the country millions due to increased illnesses and lost work with 5 times more illnesses for their kids and increased cancer rates for themselves. Women who choose cesareans, or who end up with them because they chose routine and unnecessary interventions known to lead to surgery, increase our health care costs by billions. I don't want to pay for that! I only want to pay for the safest options as supported by evidence...homebirth with midwives. Everyone else should pay out of pocket instead of expecting me to subsidies their unhealthy choices.
Hm. Somehow it sounds less asinine when it's only applied to fat people...at least to thin people. It still just sounds asinine and judgmental to fat people. But then again, fat people know that they are the last bastion in an acceptable dumping grounds for fear and self-loathing.
And that's important for fat people to know: other people's opinions about your fat have NOTHING to do with you. Their opinions are a collection of beliefs, perceptions (often faulty), experiences and attitudes that are all about them.
This becomes increasingly clear the more weight you release. You know you are the same person you always were, yet people treat you differently. People who lose weight often have some heavy emotional stuff to deal with as their friends, family and strangers interact with them in a completely new way.
Your fat makes them uncomfortable. Someday I'll take some psychology and sociology classes that help me understand that, because having been both fat and thin, I still don't get it. People are people and there are very capable people who get passed over for jobs or promotions because they are fat. Of course, that can't be admitted, but it's true. Fat people are often invisible or dismissed no matter how valuable their contribution might be.
Even just the mention of your fat makes people uncomfortable. Several times over the past year, I've made mention of my most enormous picture that I have yet to have the courage to share, to have people blush and admonish me. They don't know what to do with that. They can't deny that it's an apt use of language, but it makes them uncomfortable.
I use the words 'enormous', 'fat', 'obese', 'morbidly obese' and 'huge'. They are honest. Let's not be silly and use euphemisms like 'big' or 'overweight'. They are simply PC ways to say the same exact thing....though I do like 'well-upholstered' and 'fluffy' quite a lot. :-)
As much as I'd like to think I was 'undertall' and not 'overweight' the fact remains I was round, which is awkward and inconvenient for a bipedal primate.
I never did get around to eating my apple, which isn't a good thing. You really need to eat the 500 calories or something darn close to it, but I didn't want it until about 9:30, and by then I figured it was too late to eat it because eating that late...even if it something small, usually shows up as a gain in the morning.
I'm down .7 lb. this morning.
I should address the 'skip day' thing too, for anyone who has been reading about it elsewhere.
Typically, people who are doing sub Q injections skip one day a week. They do six injections and take the 7th day off. I like to keep my 'skip day' on the same day every time, Sunday, just because it's easier for me to remember. I started hCG on a Thursday, so obviously I'm not going to skip 3 days later on that Sunday. The point of skipping is to avoid immunity (when the hypothalamus stops recognizing the hCG). I'm not worried about that after 3 days. I would have then skipped last Sunday except that's when I realized that the hCG I had been using couldn't be effective and started the new stuff. (Technically, I suppose, that would be day one now, but whatever.)
So, I'll skip this Sunday.
And instead of saying '2 weeks down, 4 to go' I'm actually at a '1 week down, 5 to go' place, which doesn't make me exactly happy, but I'll deal.
Again last night, would have loved a glass of Merlot.
I'm not missing anything else though. Last night, someone brought Rice Crispie Treats and I didn't even want one. (In fact, my only thought was how horrible those are for you, especially for pregnant women.)
Yesterday, someone brought cookies to work and they were on the table. Today, someone brought banana bread. That didn't bother me. However, once again I was reminded of how the 'rules' are so different for fat people.
When we were discussing the program before launch, healthy thin people were very upset that Dr. Simeons would tell people to eat anything they want, especially lots of fats, during the loading days. The consensus was that you should never eat like that anyway, and to give people trying to lose weight permission to do so was irresponsible.
Having been fat, I explained there were two kinds of fat people...people who ate like that all the time anyway, and people who have been depriving themselves for years. When I loaded, I ate the things like donuts...which I love but had not allowed my self for, seriously, years. I ate pizza, and muffins and grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato bisque soup, for while there is a physiological point to the load, there is also a psychological benefit..so I ate foods I would miss or foods I never got to eat.
It was finally decided that if we were going to tell people to load up on fats, it should be good fats like olive oil, grapeseed oil, avocados, nuts, fatty fish like salmon, cheeses, etc. It was a concession I was willing to make, considering how horrified everyone seemed to be about people eating anything they wanted for two or three days.
But what I noticed over the next several weeks was what I noticed every single day of my life...the rules are different for skinny people. Every day when I went in to work (which at that point wasn't every day, but several times per week) someone had brought in muffins, or cookies, or cake. Lunch was brought in and there were yummy pizzas and subs. They'd say 'we don't usually eat like this, but it's my birthday,' or there was some other special occasion. Fat people can't do that without judgment. And wasn't that what the loading day was? A special occasion? If you are telling people that for the next 3 months (or more if it's round 2 or 3 or 4) they cannot have these things, why is it a problem to tell them they can have the things thin people can eat every day with impunity?
At family gatherings when I've voiced a preference for a beverage, I've had people suggest, 'Are you sure you don't want a diet soda?' No, actually. If I had wanted that I would have asked for it. And I've ordered the same exact thing at dinners that the thin people have ordered and eaten at the same table, only to have people comment on my plate 'wow, that's a lot of food'.
These are folks that care. Sharing these observations is not to cast aspersions, but to point out that the Pygmalion Effect is at work here, and thin people can delude themselves about how great their diet is as much as fat people do...it just may not show up on their ass for people to comment on.
Fat people face these types of things every day. I went to a BBQ once, and at the time I was a vegetarian. The ONLY thing there that didn't have meat in it was what I brought, which was pasta. The only thing on my plate was about 1-1.5 cups of this pasta...in one of those divided plates it look up the largest section. Granted, it was a big serving. But it was the only thing on the plate.
Some idiot friend of my husband's commented, "Wow, looks like someone likes pasta. A lot.' Smirk.
Now, his wife, a thin woman, had an overflowing plate with a little of everything. Twice. Nothing was said to her about her appetite.
In the grocery store, I've had a cart full of produce along with a birthday cake, only to have people look at the cake, and look at my butt and give me a dirty look like I should be ashamed of myself. Never mind that the assumption was that I was going to eat the cake when it wasn't even for me.
Insurance companies, employers and airlines want to punish fat people for being fat because it costs everyone else more...even though it doesn't in-and-of itself AND sometimes people aren't fat because they are gluttonous or lazy.
But lets assume all fat IS a matter of choice and lifestyle. With that logic, lets punish others the same way. Moms who formula feed cost the country millions due to increased illnesses and lost work with 5 times more illnesses for their kids and increased cancer rates for themselves. Women who choose cesareans, or who end up with them because they chose routine and unnecessary interventions known to lead to surgery, increase our health care costs by billions. I don't want to pay for that! I only want to pay for the safest options as supported by evidence...homebirth with midwives. Everyone else should pay out of pocket instead of expecting me to subsidies their unhealthy choices.
Hm. Somehow it sounds less asinine when it's only applied to fat people...at least to thin people. It still just sounds asinine and judgmental to fat people. But then again, fat people know that they are the last bastion in an acceptable dumping grounds for fear and self-loathing.
And that's important for fat people to know: other people's opinions about your fat have NOTHING to do with you. Their opinions are a collection of beliefs, perceptions (often faulty), experiences and attitudes that are all about them.
This becomes increasingly clear the more weight you release. You know you are the same person you always were, yet people treat you differently. People who lose weight often have some heavy emotional stuff to deal with as their friends, family and strangers interact with them in a completely new way.
Your fat makes them uncomfortable. Someday I'll take some psychology and sociology classes that help me understand that, because having been both fat and thin, I still don't get it. People are people and there are very capable people who get passed over for jobs or promotions because they are fat. Of course, that can't be admitted, but it's true. Fat people are often invisible or dismissed no matter how valuable their contribution might be.
Even just the mention of your fat makes people uncomfortable. Several times over the past year, I've made mention of my most enormous picture that I have yet to have the courage to share, to have people blush and admonish me. They don't know what to do with that. They can't deny that it's an apt use of language, but it makes them uncomfortable.
I use the words 'enormous', 'fat', 'obese', 'morbidly obese' and 'huge'. They are honest. Let's not be silly and use euphemisms like 'big' or 'overweight'. They are simply PC ways to say the same exact thing....though I do like 'well-upholstered' and 'fluffy' quite a lot. :-)
As much as I'd like to think I was 'undertall' and not 'overweight' the fact remains I was round, which is awkward and inconvenient for a bipedal primate.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Day 10
I forgot to post the rest of the day yesterday, but if you read any of the previous days, you got the idea. The only difference was I didn't get to do Wii or yoga.
Today is off to a better start. I'm down 1.5 lb. today. That puts me at 8.8 lb. released in 10 days. The Wii puts my weight 1 lb. higher than I calculate, which typically I would just assume is my faulty calculations. Math has never been my strong suit. However, the Wii has been acting funny lately...continually giving an 'error' message during balance tests, or just not allowing a wii-mote to work, or getting stuck. I've tried updating and calibrating the board and putting new batteries in the wii-motes, but it's still acting goofy. Any ideas?
So anyway, this puts me in the range of where I was last fall when I was unable to do those two steak days on the days they were required, and just about 3 lb. away from my lowest weight last fall. Once I break that barrier, I'm only 10-15 lb. away from my original goal weight, which on this program is very doable in the remaining month. It not not get me to the 116 lb./22 BMI optimal weight the Wii says I should be at...sadistic beastie that it is.
I'm not sure I want to go that low. I'll be comfortable once I get into the 'normal' range on the thing, and have a bit of a buffer so that even if I wiggle a few lb. I'll stay in that range.
2:00 pm
Man! Using viable hCG really makes a huge difference. I didn't test it before I used it because the rest of the batch had been fine, the date was fine, and it wastes like a full CC of the stuff. That's several days worth.
Anyway, I didn't post that I didn't wake up hungry, I slept great, my mood is improved and I wasn't hungry until I ate around 1 pm. I nibbled apple slices between appointments just to keep my tummy busy, and had cucumber at noon, then had the chicken and bread stick when I got home sometime between 12:30 and 1 pm.
I have a late night tonight as I am teaching a class, so my intention is to eat the usual protein, veggie and bread selections before I leave, and then save my apple for later.
For now though, I'm waiting on some information to be able to do the work at home that needs to be done, so I'm going to get my Wii in and a bit of cleaning before I have to get ready to leave.
Today is off to a better start. I'm down 1.5 lb. today. That puts me at 8.8 lb. released in 10 days. The Wii puts my weight 1 lb. higher than I calculate, which typically I would just assume is my faulty calculations. Math has never been my strong suit. However, the Wii has been acting funny lately...continually giving an 'error' message during balance tests, or just not allowing a wii-mote to work, or getting stuck. I've tried updating and calibrating the board and putting new batteries in the wii-motes, but it's still acting goofy. Any ideas?
So anyway, this puts me in the range of where I was last fall when I was unable to do those two steak days on the days they were required, and just about 3 lb. away from my lowest weight last fall. Once I break that barrier, I'm only 10-15 lb. away from my original goal weight, which on this program is very doable in the remaining month. It not not get me to the 116 lb./22 BMI optimal weight the Wii says I should be at...sadistic beastie that it is.
I'm not sure I want to go that low. I'll be comfortable once I get into the 'normal' range on the thing, and have a bit of a buffer so that even if I wiggle a few lb. I'll stay in that range.
2:00 pm
Man! Using viable hCG really makes a huge difference. I didn't test it before I used it because the rest of the batch had been fine, the date was fine, and it wastes like a full CC of the stuff. That's several days worth.
Anyway, I didn't post that I didn't wake up hungry, I slept great, my mood is improved and I wasn't hungry until I ate around 1 pm. I nibbled apple slices between appointments just to keep my tummy busy, and had cucumber at noon, then had the chicken and bread stick when I got home sometime between 12:30 and 1 pm.
I have a late night tonight as I am teaching a class, so my intention is to eat the usual protein, veggie and bread selections before I leave, and then save my apple for later.
For now though, I'm waiting on some information to be able to do the work at home that needs to be done, so I'm going to get my Wii in and a bit of cleaning before I have to get ready to leave.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Day 9
Damn! It was a zero day this morning.
Granted, DH pointed out it was better than a gain. (What would I do without his never ending support and encouragement?) And really, there was so much that could have played into this day...I had more than 500 calories yesterday with the (probably) larger than 100g piece of chicken and the macs in the morning, even with the skipping of the fruit with dinner. I never did get hungry for that.
I wasn't hungry this morning either! AND I slept well and woke up easily. THAT is more like this is supposed to feel.
Also, I had beef for my evening meal. Beef often makes me stall or gain, especially if I have it for an evening meal. I had it twice last week and expected a stall both times. I was surprised when I didn't see that. Finally, I weighed at around 5:30 this morning. I mentioned already that the earlier I weigh, the more I weigh. My most accurate time seems to be around 7:30 am, but by then I'll have had a shower and two enormous mugs of coffee. Weigh in has to be immediately following the morning duties and before all of that other stuff.
So, I'll take what I can get and not be discouraged by the zero day knowing all the variables. At least I feel more like I should feel now that I have the hCG situation figured out.
11:00 am
I came home between morning and afternoon appointments. I had some strawberries. Now I'm too full for lunch. Oh well, I have a couple of hours before I have to go back. I'll probably be hungry by then.
I did want to post a few words about doubt: most people have at least a little going into this. I've had doubt every single time. The first time, it just sounded too good to be true. Every time after that, I just couldn't believe my body could change yet again. It's weird, but I have to say I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what size I may actually be. I mean, I didn't realize how big I was when I was big, but I have a really skewed view of 'normal' because of where I started. So, after each round, I've shrunk out of stuff, and I'm smaller, which feels great. After a few weeks at that new smaller size, it seems bigger and I'm ready to go for more. Yet, each time I wonder if it will work, even with experience behind me.
Right now, I see shoulders and hips and collar bones. I hadn't seen those for YEARS. But I'm ready to see muscle definition. After the SNAFU last week, I was a little frustrated, but I'm feeling better about it now. I know I can do it. It's just that those doubts are there once again.
There is also the temptation to compare myself with others. I see that a lot with clients too. They are releasing a pound or more a day and ask if that's normal. Yes, it's on track, but why can't we be happy with a pound a day just because we've never released that before and now we are?
I fall victim to the same thing. A family friend began this protocol after I had already done my first round, because of my success. He lost probably a total 5-10 lb. more than me in fewer rounds...meaning he's already lost what my goal weight is and he's done the protocol for months less time than I have. If I'd released at the same rate, I'd be DONE by now.
But I'm not. I have to accept that he is not me, and this is what it is. I've made amazing progress. It doesn't matter if someone else has done better and lost more. It is what it is. I will release what my body deems 'enough' in the time that is appropriate for me.
I do wonder if my perception of weight will change as I get smaller and stay that way. I know people who say they want to lose 10, 20, 30 or even 40 lb. and I think, "Really?!" They don't even look overweight to me. So on some level, even though I didn't see myself as I really was, I must have had some acceptance of that as...not normal, but not...as big as it was? I'm not sure. I'm rambling, but weight issues are so complex. I guess I'm just trying to work out idea of self-perception vs other-perception and what mental gymnastics it takes to keep from going completely nutty when the body doesn't match what's in the head.
Granted, DH pointed out it was better than a gain. (What would I do without his never ending support and encouragement?) And really, there was so much that could have played into this day...I had more than 500 calories yesterday with the (probably) larger than 100g piece of chicken and the macs in the morning, even with the skipping of the fruit with dinner. I never did get hungry for that.
I wasn't hungry this morning either! AND I slept well and woke up easily. THAT is more like this is supposed to feel.
Also, I had beef for my evening meal. Beef often makes me stall or gain, especially if I have it for an evening meal. I had it twice last week and expected a stall both times. I was surprised when I didn't see that. Finally, I weighed at around 5:30 this morning. I mentioned already that the earlier I weigh, the more I weigh. My most accurate time seems to be around 7:30 am, but by then I'll have had a shower and two enormous mugs of coffee. Weigh in has to be immediately following the morning duties and before all of that other stuff.
So, I'll take what I can get and not be discouraged by the zero day knowing all the variables. At least I feel more like I should feel now that I have the hCG situation figured out.
11:00 am
I came home between morning and afternoon appointments. I had some strawberries. Now I'm too full for lunch. Oh well, I have a couple of hours before I have to go back. I'll probably be hungry by then.
I did want to post a few words about doubt: most people have at least a little going into this. I've had doubt every single time. The first time, it just sounded too good to be true. Every time after that, I just couldn't believe my body could change yet again. It's weird, but I have to say I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what size I may actually be. I mean, I didn't realize how big I was when I was big, but I have a really skewed view of 'normal' because of where I started. So, after each round, I've shrunk out of stuff, and I'm smaller, which feels great. After a few weeks at that new smaller size, it seems bigger and I'm ready to go for more. Yet, each time I wonder if it will work, even with experience behind me.
Right now, I see shoulders and hips and collar bones. I hadn't seen those for YEARS. But I'm ready to see muscle definition. After the SNAFU last week, I was a little frustrated, but I'm feeling better about it now. I know I can do it. It's just that those doubts are there once again.
There is also the temptation to compare myself with others. I see that a lot with clients too. They are releasing a pound or more a day and ask if that's normal. Yes, it's on track, but why can't we be happy with a pound a day just because we've never released that before and now we are?
I fall victim to the same thing. A family friend began this protocol after I had already done my first round, because of my success. He lost probably a total 5-10 lb. more than me in fewer rounds...meaning he's already lost what my goal weight is and he's done the protocol for months less time than I have. If I'd released at the same rate, I'd be DONE by now.
But I'm not. I have to accept that he is not me, and this is what it is. I've made amazing progress. It doesn't matter if someone else has done better and lost more. It is what it is. I will release what my body deems 'enough' in the time that is appropriate for me.
I do wonder if my perception of weight will change as I get smaller and stay that way. I know people who say they want to lose 10, 20, 30 or even 40 lb. and I think, "Really?!" They don't even look overweight to me. So on some level, even though I didn't see myself as I really was, I must have had some acceptance of that as...not normal, but not...as big as it was? I'm not sure. I'm rambling, but weight issues are so complex. I guess I'm just trying to work out idea of self-perception vs other-perception and what mental gymnastics it takes to keep from going completely nutty when the body doesn't match what's in the head.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Day 8
Well, here's a point for hCG NOT being placebo:
I fell asleep early last night. I was whipped. I got up and damn if I wasn't HUNGRY again. I mean really hungry.
Now, I tell my clients that hunger can last up to 10 days. If they are hungry after two weeks, I mean real hunger like this, not just cravings from habit changes, that we may need to look at some things. But I've done this before, and I know I do NOT feel like I have in the past.
My clients would know the hCG they got is fresh from a compounding pharmacy though. I was starting to wonder about mine. So I got a pregnancy test last night and tested it this morning, with a very weak result.
So I HAVE been doing the 500 calories per day essentially without the HCG, which is why I'm losing slower and why I've been more hungry and tired. Like I said, anyone can lose on 500 calories per day. The difference is with hCG isn't not hard: you aren't hungry and you aren't tired. I knew this round was a lot harder than it should be.
So, now I have to decide how to proceed. I'm not sure if I need to 're-load' because when the actual, working hCG hits my system I won't have 'primed the pump' (which I'm loathe to do because it took me all freakin' week to lose my loading weight) or if I should just continue with the VLCI as much as I can as I reintroduce viable product.
Later:
I have some friends on the protocol who had hCG and (bless them!) were able to help me out. I decided I will NOT 're-load'. I've been doing this all week, I can do it a few more days as the new hCG reaches optimum levels in my system. If I'm a little hungry for a few days, or even a week, it's better than having to re-lose loading weight again, as far as I'm concerned. Not only that, but loading is way to fresh in my memory. It sounds like fun, but honest, it's not!
Now, some may wonder why I don't just get hCG from the wellness center I work for, so I'll tell you why.
If I were doing this round from the beginning instead of just figuring on using up the last of the hCG I had from last year, I would have gotten my physical, done the blood work and the urinalysis. hCG is a substance requiring a prescription. When you order it on-line, you must provide a minimal amount of information so that a 'doctor' (from where, I have no clue) will prescribe it.
Reputable doctors in the U.S. will prescribe it only if you are a patient and they have determined that you are healthy enough to embark on this journey. Our facility requires a physical, blood work and urinalysis. All of that takes time, which currently I do not have. That is the only reason I did not go that route this time. It was an odd set of circumstances. I don't anticipate needing to do this again because keeping the weight off hasn't been hard thus far (when I followed the rules), but if I do, next time I will go through my own program. This particular instance is one example of why it is a good idea to do so when possible!
2:00 pm
I didn't record the food stuff for the day, so I figured I should do that before I forget.
Around the time I tested the hCG and determined it was too weak to be working properly, I had to have a few macadamia nuts. I knew I couldn't make it until noon or so, no matter how much water or coffee I consumed.
Later, I had 4 strawberries. An hour or two after that, I had about 1 cup of steamed cabbage. I just ate some chicken and a grissini.
The chicken may or may not have been 100g, but it was close. When my husband grills, he almost always cuts them to 100g sizes just so we can know what we are eating calorie-wise, even when I'm not 'on protocol'. This chicken was grilled before I started this round, then frozen. He didn't measure it. He 'eyeballed' it. It was close, but felt slightly bigger. For today, it may not matter.
I don't yet know if I'll be able to skip some stuff at the end of the day to make up for the 100 calories or so that were in the macs. I'm not even sure I have to. If the previous hCG wasn't working, eating more calories might actually help. If it was working even a little though, eating more will set me back. I'll have to just feel it out and listen to my body. Currently, I am very full.
4:30 pm
We just got back from a 2 mile walk. DH is going to get his Wii time in while I work on some hypnosis stuff for a friend, then we'll switch and I'll get my Wii time.
I'm starting to think about dinner (or 'supper' as it is called here in WI and parts of the South) but I'm not quite ready to get serious about it and make it.
I'm thinking chili (1 protein serving/1 veggie serving), grissini and strawberries. We have lots of grapefruit, which actually sound better, but the strawberries go bad so fast and are so expensive, I figure I should eat those first.
8 pm
I did get 1/2 hour of sweaty Wii in. I love that Wii! It is the best gift we have ever received!
Anyway, I had some fun and kicked Dave's butt in a couple of things. He kicked mine in others, I will admit. We are actually pulling pretty even in a lot of things these days. He's working more on balance and flexibility, I'm working more on aerobics and strength, so we're meeting in the middle. He killed me in the dogfight, I beat him at ping-pong.
Yesterday, I mentioned that I had to get rid of several pairs of pants that were too big. I was going to put them in the Goodwill pile, but Dave tried them on. They fit! Something that was too big for me, fit my husband!
This probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but even long, long ago, when I was thinner, I was pear shaped. I have never been able to fit into my husbands pants. He's a skinny guy with a frog butt. (Jeff Foxworthy reference) I had hips. Then I was huge. For the last 20 years or so, I weighed more than him, often by a large margin. It was one of the things that depressed me the most. He ate two and three times what I ate, we'd exercise together, he'd lose weight...I'd gain or remain the same. It sucked eggs.
I am currently about 30 lb. smaller than he is, and the pants that are too big for me fit him. That is a big deal.
I fell asleep early last night. I was whipped. I got up and damn if I wasn't HUNGRY again. I mean really hungry.
Now, I tell my clients that hunger can last up to 10 days. If they are hungry after two weeks, I mean real hunger like this, not just cravings from habit changes, that we may need to look at some things. But I've done this before, and I know I do NOT feel like I have in the past.
My clients would know the hCG they got is fresh from a compounding pharmacy though. I was starting to wonder about mine. So I got a pregnancy test last night and tested it this morning, with a very weak result.
So I HAVE been doing the 500 calories per day essentially without the HCG, which is why I'm losing slower and why I've been more hungry and tired. Like I said, anyone can lose on 500 calories per day. The difference is with hCG isn't not hard: you aren't hungry and you aren't tired. I knew this round was a lot harder than it should be.
So, now I have to decide how to proceed. I'm not sure if I need to 're-load' because when the actual, working hCG hits my system I won't have 'primed the pump' (which I'm loathe to do because it took me all freakin' week to lose my loading weight) or if I should just continue with the VLCI as much as I can as I reintroduce viable product.
Later:
I have some friends on the protocol who had hCG and (bless them!) were able to help me out. I decided I will NOT 're-load'. I've been doing this all week, I can do it a few more days as the new hCG reaches optimum levels in my system. If I'm a little hungry for a few days, or even a week, it's better than having to re-lose loading weight again, as far as I'm concerned. Not only that, but loading is way to fresh in my memory. It sounds like fun, but honest, it's not!
Now, some may wonder why I don't just get hCG from the wellness center I work for, so I'll tell you why.
If I were doing this round from the beginning instead of just figuring on using up the last of the hCG I had from last year, I would have gotten my physical, done the blood work and the urinalysis. hCG is a substance requiring a prescription. When you order it on-line, you must provide a minimal amount of information so that a 'doctor' (from where, I have no clue) will prescribe it.
Reputable doctors in the U.S. will prescribe it only if you are a patient and they have determined that you are healthy enough to embark on this journey. Our facility requires a physical, blood work and urinalysis. All of that takes time, which currently I do not have. That is the only reason I did not go that route this time. It was an odd set of circumstances. I don't anticipate needing to do this again because keeping the weight off hasn't been hard thus far (when I followed the rules), but if I do, next time I will go through my own program. This particular instance is one example of why it is a good idea to do so when possible!
2:00 pm
I didn't record the food stuff for the day, so I figured I should do that before I forget.
Around the time I tested the hCG and determined it was too weak to be working properly, I had to have a few macadamia nuts. I knew I couldn't make it until noon or so, no matter how much water or coffee I consumed.
Later, I had 4 strawberries. An hour or two after that, I had about 1 cup of steamed cabbage. I just ate some chicken and a grissini.
The chicken may or may not have been 100g, but it was close. When my husband grills, he almost always cuts them to 100g sizes just so we can know what we are eating calorie-wise, even when I'm not 'on protocol'. This chicken was grilled before I started this round, then frozen. He didn't measure it. He 'eyeballed' it. It was close, but felt slightly bigger. For today, it may not matter.
I don't yet know if I'll be able to skip some stuff at the end of the day to make up for the 100 calories or so that were in the macs. I'm not even sure I have to. If the previous hCG wasn't working, eating more calories might actually help. If it was working even a little though, eating more will set me back. I'll have to just feel it out and listen to my body. Currently, I am very full.
4:30 pm
We just got back from a 2 mile walk. DH is going to get his Wii time in while I work on some hypnosis stuff for a friend, then we'll switch and I'll get my Wii time.
I'm starting to think about dinner (or 'supper' as it is called here in WI and parts of the South) but I'm not quite ready to get serious about it and make it.
I'm thinking chili (1 protein serving/1 veggie serving), grissini and strawberries. We have lots of grapefruit, which actually sound better, but the strawberries go bad so fast and are so expensive, I figure I should eat those first.
8 pm
I did get 1/2 hour of sweaty Wii in. I love that Wii! It is the best gift we have ever received!
Anyway, I had some fun and kicked Dave's butt in a couple of things. He kicked mine in others, I will admit. We are actually pulling pretty even in a lot of things these days. He's working more on balance and flexibility, I'm working more on aerobics and strength, so we're meeting in the middle. He killed me in the dogfight, I beat him at ping-pong.
Yesterday, I mentioned that I had to get rid of several pairs of pants that were too big. I was going to put them in the Goodwill pile, but Dave tried them on. They fit! Something that was too big for me, fit my husband!
This probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but even long, long ago, when I was thinner, I was pear shaped. I have never been able to fit into my husbands pants. He's a skinny guy with a frog butt. (Jeff Foxworthy reference) I had hips. Then I was huge. For the last 20 years or so, I weighed more than him, often by a large margin. It was one of the things that depressed me the most. He ate two and three times what I ate, we'd exercise together, he'd lose weight...I'd gain or remain the same. It sucked eggs.
I am currently about 30 lb. smaller than he is, and the pants that are too big for me fit him. That is a big deal.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Day 7
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Me, December 2007
Me today,
January 23,
2010
(Kori told me I had to smile, but my eyes squinch up, so I may have to change this when I can get a decent shot.)
Anyway, I woke up hungry again; not starving, but hungry. I'm only down .7 lb. today.
As my husband pointed out, (Who shed 1.1 lb. today...he's not on the protocol. Men!) it's going in the right direction. Yes, it is. and 7.1 lb. in 7 days is nothing to scoff at. And I had 100 extra calories with those macadamias yesterday, and I had beef for dinner, which usually makes me stall or gain.
However, anyone will lose weight on 500 calories per day. That's not the point. The point is, with the hCG, it's easy to lose it, it comes off fast, and it doesn't come from muscle, but from the actual fat stores (which is one of the reasons it's so easy).
If this were working the way it typically does for me, I'd be down 10-12 lb. by today, not 7. I wouldn't be hungry. I mean not at all hungry. So, I'm frustrated that I am. I don't want to be losing muscle instead of fat (I'll have to check that on the Tanita at work) because then I'll gain it back and have to do this again, and I'd prefer not to. When it's working, it's not that it's hard, but it is boring! Well, it's boring for me. I'm not very creative or adventurous when it comes to food, so while I have a protocol cookbook, I don't tend to experiment much.
I really like my life during stabilization and maintenance. I can live life there indefinitely. Learning what I have during this program allows me to stay where I want to be for the most part.
So, I have to figure out if it's my body, or my hCG, or some variable I have in my life that is making this so slow and more difficult.
11:30 am
I'm thinking I actually could eat soon. I may have chili, just for some variety, and see if it stalls me.
I'm feeling better after trying to get dressed today. I tried on 4 pairs of pants, only to find them all to big to wear! The ones I have on now are too, but they have a drawstring, so I can keep them on. The others were yoga pants or needed a belt, but would pucker if I belted them.
Sigh. Okay, continuing is a little easier after that.
6:30 pm
Dinner: Salad, chicken, grissino a few minutes ago. I had strawberries with a drop of chocolate stevia for a snack mid-afternoon, and some decaf.
I also had two pieces (less than a tbsp. total) of Tim's Chocolate Delight...which hasn't tripped me up in the past, but who knows this time.
I've had at least 3 more liters of water.
Going to get some Wii time in now to deal with the frustration of dealing with my crappy web host all damn day!
Later:
Leg cramps during Wii. There are a couple of games that are hard on my calves, but leg cramps are normal on protocol; not typical, but normal.
I know I'm not dehydrated, but it's a distinct possibility I drank too much water today.
I took calcium, potassium and magnesium.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Day 6
I weighed in at 5:30 am today because I have to be out the door earlier. When I weigh in earlier, I weigh more. Knowing that does not make a small loss like .4 lb. any more exciting.
Yes, I was disappointed. Those first days are great, and when it slows down, it is disappointing. I wouldn't have expected a slow down just yet; usually it's after the first week or two. But like I said, it was early. Tomorrow may be a big release just because today's shows up tomorrow.
I did get in 1/2 hour of Wii last night, and did eat my 1/2 grapefruit before bed.
Now a word about motivation:
I love yoga and Wii games and even step aerobics (sometimes). I love riding bike and hiking and used to love roller skating...until I broke my arm doing it. I really loved my treadmill and want another in the worst way. I even like free weights.
I enjoyed these things even when I was huge. I did them regularly...in spurts. Because I'd like anyone to strap two bowling bags on each leg, and another 3 or 4 to their back and tell me it's fun to do that stuff under those conditions, no matter how much you enjoy the activity. Now, add in some idiot riding behind your bike in a car and 'mooing' or following you making comments about how your dog should walk you more. Nice.
Are some fat people lazy? Absolutely. Do some fat people just simply eat massive quantities of food? Certainly. I've perused HCG lists for the last year, and once in a while I find someone who says something like, "Help! I 'cheated' last night and had four margaritas, 4 pieces of pizza, a package of cookies, a quart of ice cream and nachos. What do I do?" Helloo! That's not a 'cheat'. That's a binge! I wouldn't eat over six months, let alone a night!
So yes, some people are fat because they eat too much and don't move much. Some aren't. I know a lot of sanctimonious thin people who don't want to believe that, but it's true. Some people get fat because of an injury that doesn't allow them to move, or because they end up on medication that puts on weight, or because they were raised with poor nutrition and it finally caught up with them. Then because they are big and tired, they don't enjoy the movement they used to enjoy...or when they do make the effort (and make no mistake, it isn't just tying on some shoes and skipping out the door) people humiliate them.
Being overweight is so complex. It isn't just about your body, and it isn't always about food. Really. I just thought that was important for people to know.
7:30 am
I'm almost ready to head out the door, but thought I'd post quickly, since I'm sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.
I just had about 10 macadamia nuts. I've been up a couple of hours now, and had my shower which was hotter than usual and likely longer.(The heat felt so good!). When I got out, not only was I light-headed, but HUNGRY...as in nauseated and painful tummy hungry. I know I won't get home from work to eat my lunch until about 1 I think, and I didn't want my apple yet because I may need it mid-morning. If I ate it now, it would wear off long before I get home.
Macs work for some people, but not others. It's one of those 'tweeks' that may be necessary for some people on occasion. When I tried them in the past, I didn't stall. In fact, if I ate them in the morning for just this reason, I found I released more the next day. I can't eat them every day, but in an emergency. And I may drop my melba or grissinos to try to mitigate the calorie damage a bit.
I don't like the way this first round is going so far...it's slow and it's much harder than it was for rounds 1 and 4. Perhaps even harder than rounds 2 and 3, which really presented challenges, unlike the first and last ones, which I would have actually deemed 'easy'. However, it would be unfair to say it's always easy, all the time. Not only are their days when it's a bit of work, each round is different.
I hope this one doesn't hold many days like this.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes. It's always an adventure!
12:30 pm
I'm starting to wonder if I'm coming down with something (I certainly have been exposed to stuff!) and perhaps that's why I was hungry? I'm not feeling fantastic...headache, tired. Could be hunger, but I've eaten my lunch, had my water, and my tummy doesn't feel hungry. And I'm a little achy. While hunger is certainly a possibility considering, it hasn't been typical for me on the program. Even when I am hungry, like I was this am, it goes away with food.
However, if I have a bug trying to get me, I would be dragged out and it would make me hungry as my body fights it. Stress can do that too. Doing too much can as well. I don't think I did too much yesterday, and I don't think I'm stressed. Although my day is broken up really weird, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get done all the things that need to get done.
I guess we'll see what happens. If the achy goes away with yoga, I'd say stress. If it goes away with a nap or a hot bath, I'd say bug.
6:30 pm or so
By 5 pm I was so hungry it occurred to me that perhaps I had waited too long to use my hCG, even though the expiration was fine. (One of the benefits of going through a clinic is always knowing the product is freshly compounded, but I still had some from last year, so I used it.) But then Dave came home and said he had been starving all day too, as had several clients. Maybe it's not just me? Who knows what it could be? I can't see one constant amongst the variables.
Anyway, for dinner I had 100g grilled steak, a salad (lettuce), a grissini and some water; now I'm full. I'll have the grapefruit later. We are thinking about going bowling or having a Wii tourney, so maybe after that.
I have to say, I had a weird urge to go out tonight. I wanted to do to something, do have a drink and be just...out. We don't go out much, so it was odd.
Then Dave made bacon with his steak. My favorite way to eat steak is with bacon and blue cheese. That's one of the things I've maintained on over the last year. But I couldn't have any. I didn't like that much.
10:30 pm
Bowled my best game ever! (The next two games, not so good.)
Haven't been hungry enough to eat the other half of the grapefruit, and now it's too late I think.
I have had two pieces of sugar free-gum today. I do have to deal with people and kiss my husband. It is not approved by Dr. Simeons, but he didn't have the same options we have today re: sugar-free gum. Sometimes, you just have to make a judgment call.
Yes, I was disappointed. Those first days are great, and when it slows down, it is disappointing. I wouldn't have expected a slow down just yet; usually it's after the first week or two. But like I said, it was early. Tomorrow may be a big release just because today's shows up tomorrow.
I did get in 1/2 hour of Wii last night, and did eat my 1/2 grapefruit before bed.
Now a word about motivation:
I love yoga and Wii games and even step aerobics (sometimes). I love riding bike and hiking and used to love roller skating...until I broke my arm doing it. I really loved my treadmill and want another in the worst way. I even like free weights.
I enjoyed these things even when I was huge. I did them regularly...in spurts. Because I'd like anyone to strap two bowling bags on each leg, and another 3 or 4 to their back and tell me it's fun to do that stuff under those conditions, no matter how much you enjoy the activity. Now, add in some idiot riding behind your bike in a car and 'mooing' or following you making comments about how your dog should walk you more. Nice.
Are some fat people lazy? Absolutely. Do some fat people just simply eat massive quantities of food? Certainly. I've perused HCG lists for the last year, and once in a while I find someone who says something like, "Help! I 'cheated' last night and had four margaritas, 4 pieces of pizza, a package of cookies, a quart of ice cream and nachos. What do I do?" Helloo! That's not a 'cheat'. That's a binge! I wouldn't eat over six months, let alone a night!
So yes, some people are fat because they eat too much and don't move much. Some aren't. I know a lot of sanctimonious thin people who don't want to believe that, but it's true. Some people get fat because of an injury that doesn't allow them to move, or because they end up on medication that puts on weight, or because they were raised with poor nutrition and it finally caught up with them. Then because they are big and tired, they don't enjoy the movement they used to enjoy...or when they do make the effort (and make no mistake, it isn't just tying on some shoes and skipping out the door) people humiliate them.
Being overweight is so complex. It isn't just about your body, and it isn't always about food. Really. I just thought that was important for people to know.
7:30 am
I'm almost ready to head out the door, but thought I'd post quickly, since I'm sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.
I just had about 10 macadamia nuts. I've been up a couple of hours now, and had my shower which was hotter than usual and likely longer.(The heat felt so good!). When I got out, not only was I light-headed, but HUNGRY...as in nauseated and painful tummy hungry. I know I won't get home from work to eat my lunch until about 1 I think, and I didn't want my apple yet because I may need it mid-morning. If I ate it now, it would wear off long before I get home.
Macs work for some people, but not others. It's one of those 'tweeks' that may be necessary for some people on occasion. When I tried them in the past, I didn't stall. In fact, if I ate them in the morning for just this reason, I found I released more the next day. I can't eat them every day, but in an emergency. And I may drop my melba or grissinos to try to mitigate the calorie damage a bit.
I don't like the way this first round is going so far...it's slow and it's much harder than it was for rounds 1 and 4. Perhaps even harder than rounds 2 and 3, which really presented challenges, unlike the first and last ones, which I would have actually deemed 'easy'. However, it would be unfair to say it's always easy, all the time. Not only are their days when it's a bit of work, each round is different.
I hope this one doesn't hold many days like this.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes. It's always an adventure!
12:30 pm
I'm starting to wonder if I'm coming down with something (I certainly have been exposed to stuff!) and perhaps that's why I was hungry? I'm not feeling fantastic...headache, tired. Could be hunger, but I've eaten my lunch, had my water, and my tummy doesn't feel hungry. And I'm a little achy. While hunger is certainly a possibility considering, it hasn't been typical for me on the program. Even when I am hungry, like I was this am, it goes away with food.
However, if I have a bug trying to get me, I would be dragged out and it would make me hungry as my body fights it. Stress can do that too. Doing too much can as well. I don't think I did too much yesterday, and I don't think I'm stressed. Although my day is broken up really weird, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get done all the things that need to get done.
I guess we'll see what happens. If the achy goes away with yoga, I'd say stress. If it goes away with a nap or a hot bath, I'd say bug.
6:30 pm or so
By 5 pm I was so hungry it occurred to me that perhaps I had waited too long to use my hCG, even though the expiration was fine. (One of the benefits of going through a clinic is always knowing the product is freshly compounded, but I still had some from last year, so I used it.) But then Dave came home and said he had been starving all day too, as had several clients. Maybe it's not just me? Who knows what it could be? I can't see one constant amongst the variables.
Anyway, for dinner I had 100g grilled steak, a salad (lettuce), a grissini and some water; now I'm full. I'll have the grapefruit later. We are thinking about going bowling or having a Wii tourney, so maybe after that.
I have to say, I had a weird urge to go out tonight. I wanted to do to something, do have a drink and be just...out. We don't go out much, so it was odd.
Then Dave made bacon with his steak. My favorite way to eat steak is with bacon and blue cheese. That's one of the things I've maintained on over the last year. But I couldn't have any. I didn't like that much.
10:30 pm
Bowled my best game ever! (The next two games, not so good.)
Haven't been hungry enough to eat the other half of the grapefruit, and now it's too late I think.
I have had two pieces of sugar free-gum today. I do have to deal with people and kiss my husband. It is not approved by Dr. Simeons, but he didn't have the same options we have today re: sugar-free gum. Sometimes, you just have to make a judgment call.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 5
I'm down 1.1 lb. today for a total of 6 lb. in 5 days.
I'm feeling good and looking at how busy the day is! I'll try to check in and catch up later.
11 am
I stopped home to grab some stuff for my presentation and made myself some coffee. I made regular just because I wanted Carmel Cream flavored instead of Almond Vanilla decaf, but it's making me a bit buzzy. Since I still haven't eaten today, I'll probably have my chicken before I go instead of my apple so I can get rid of the caffeine buzz.
I'll take my other meal with me, just to be prepared, but I should be able to get along quite well with an apple and cuke for the afternoon and eat my regular meal at home at a normal time.
7:30-ish
I ate most of my protocol dinner around 5 or so, but not my fruit; I didn't need it. I was full. I expect I'll have it after I get some Wii time in.
I did, however, really (really) have a desire to sit by the fire and have a nice glass of Merlot about a half hour ago. I made decaf instead, and like I said, I'll Wii, perhaps have the rest of the coffee, my fruit and then go to bed. While the wine would be nice, I know what one glass would do to the program, and it's not worth it. I felt fantastic fitting into my favorite skirt today, and no glass of wine is worth that feeling.
So, off to Wii!!
I'm feeling good and looking at how busy the day is! I'll try to check in and catch up later.
11 am
I stopped home to grab some stuff for my presentation and made myself some coffee. I made regular just because I wanted Carmel Cream flavored instead of Almond Vanilla decaf, but it's making me a bit buzzy. Since I still haven't eaten today, I'll probably have my chicken before I go instead of my apple so I can get rid of the caffeine buzz.
I'll take my other meal with me, just to be prepared, but I should be able to get along quite well with an apple and cuke for the afternoon and eat my regular meal at home at a normal time.
7:30-ish
I ate most of my protocol dinner around 5 or so, but not my fruit; I didn't need it. I was full. I expect I'll have it after I get some Wii time in.
I did, however, really (really) have a desire to sit by the fire and have a nice glass of Merlot about a half hour ago. I made decaf instead, and like I said, I'll Wii, perhaps have the rest of the coffee, my fruit and then go to bed. While the wine would be nice, I know what one glass would do to the program, and it's not worth it. I felt fantastic fitting into my favorite skirt today, and no glass of wine is worth that feeling.
So, off to Wii!!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Day 4
[After hours of trying to get a picture where we were all smiling, we just got goofy and giggly.]
I had no problem staying awake last night, and no problem sleeping when I finally, blissfully, fell into bed. I didn't want to get up early this am though, I'll tell you that! I do love my sleep.
I was down 1.8 lb. this morning. That's a total of 4.9 lb. in 3 days on the VLCI. I'm just tenths of a lb. away from having gotten rid of my loading gain, which disappoints me. I know that sounds crazy considering I released almost 5 lb. in 3 days, but most people get rid of that in the first couple of days. I know it will be gone tomorrow, but I was hoping for today.
Today I have two appointments at the wellness center and then I work at home for the rest of the day, preparing for a presentation I will give to some nursing students tomorrow. I have some web work and some preparations for jumping back into school next term. It's going to be a busy day, but mostly at home. I hope to get some yoga in, too.
12:30 pm
About an hour and a half ago I had my apple, and then more coffee with stevia while I was working on some computer stuff. I just had steamed cabbage again and my chicken breast with a grissini following.
Some people complain about not having enough variety with this program, but for crafty cooks, there's plenty of variety. You can use spices as long as they don't have sugar or starches. I just tend to be boring and don't mind repetition. I also don't like seafood, fish...and I have an conscientious objection to eating veal. I have a hard enough time not thinking about eating adult animals, let alone babies.
Which brings me to the thought I wanted to blog about: the "Can I have..." or "I don't like..." complaint that some people have.
In a perfect world we could eat anything we want, whenever we want, in any amount we want. I've never lived in that world, even when I was fat, and while I know there are some people who do and never worry about what they put in their mouth, I know it never will be me.
Steamed cabbage is not my favorite thing to eat, frankly. I'd much prefer a bagel and cream cheese. However, streamed cabbage is not torture for me. Shrimp would be, so I don't eat it, even though I could.
I really, really love cream in my coffee. I don't love it with just stevia. But I do love coffee...so I'm willing to take it as I can get it for now.
This is only perhaps 6 more weeks out of my life. No, I won't be able to have a bagel every day when I'm done...much as I would love that. But I know enough now to know if I do have a bagel, I'll need to walk 6 miles at 3 mph to burn it off. I'm not likely to want to do that more than once a week. I know that I can have cream in my coffee every single day and it doesn't put the pounds back on. I learned that through this program by weighing myself nearly every single day for the past year. So, next month, I'll be putting cream in my coffee.
I could lament how unfair that is and how it sucks to be me, or I can deal with the fact that my body is just that way. If I want to keep it where it is, I change some stuff.
This protocol is not magic. It IS a fresh start and an opportunity to learn about yourself. It's very affirming to finally know that for all those years, it wasn't that I wasn't trying hard enough (or feeling crazy because I KNEW I couldn't try any harder, but was being told I just wasn't)...it was that what 'everybody knows' was wrong for me. Once I found what was RIGHT for me, it was easy.
Having daily motivation in the way of pound or two off in the scale, or having clothes fall off my butt is fantastic, but having a new sense of control and having my sanity back so that every waking moment isn't spent hating myself for failing is even better.
For people who really want this to work, who are ready and willing to work IT, it works.
6 pm
Wow, my afternoon shaped up to be busy! I needed a piece of sugar-free gum to keep me going, but I just had my chicken and lettuce and I'm too fun to eat the grissini and apple! I'm sure if I get a chance before bed I'll get that in.
Tomorrow also got busy really fast. I'm at three different locations back to back. Typically, I'd take cucumber as my 'easy to transport' veggie, my apples and my chicken. I only have 1/2 a cuke though. I'll have to take the rest and hope I can stop at the store (or my honey does!) to have my veggie when I get home tomorrow night.
I also tend to drink coffee-regular in the morning and decaf in the afternoon-but I'm not seeing that happening. It should be an interesting day!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Day 3
I didn't sleep for crap last night. I went to bed early thinking today was such a long day, and I needed to get up so early, that I should go to bed and get as much sleep as I could. Instead I ended up awake most of the night thinking about what I have to do today! I hate that.
I tried all the yoga breathing and hypnosis I know, but my brain just wouldn't shut up. Needless to say, I'm tired.
Usually when people say they have a stall, I ask if they slept well. Not sleeping well usually means no weight release. Today, I'm 1.3 lb. down. That's 3.1 so far for my total.
Because I had nearly a 24 hour day yesterday (with some stress perhaps? maybe why I couldn't sleep?) I was hungry; actual 'geez that sort of hurts, I'm really hungry' sort of hungry. I mean during the night I was. In four rounds during the course of a year, I can count on one hand the number of times I felt that. Last night was one.
It's not too bad this am, though. That's good, because I don't want to eat this early. It's only 6:30 am. I've been up about an hour. From about 7:30 until noon I'll be so busy I may not get a chance to eat, so I hope I'm also too busy to want to. I'll take some sliced apple and cukes just in case and have my chicken and grissini when I get home. And a nap.
4:53 pm
I didn't get a nap. I got home from morning appointments around 12:30 pm. It was back to back all morning, but I did manage just under a liter of water and my apple slices. I wasn't hungry for the cucumber slices.
Maybe an hour after I got home, I had lettuce with Asian Walden Farms dressing and chicken and a grissini. I got ready for class tonight, picked some stuff up around the house and made some phone calls. I wasn't tired. Currently, I am a little, but it's too late for the nap! I have to teach in Oshkosh tonight.
I did eat the cucumber slices with some apple cider vinegar and stevia mid-afternoon, and I just ate my dinner...100g piece of chicken and a grissini.
I've had at least 2 more liters of water and a 1/2 pot of decaf over the afternoon. I'm saving my apple for the ride home later.
I should sleep like a rock tonight!
I haven't been overly hungry most of the day. Once I ate my apple slices this am, I was fine. Just before it was time to eat dinner I was definitely ready to eat it, but not starving. Now I'm stuffed!
Ok, off to teach, and then gratefully fall into bed when I get home.
The next two days should be very busy too, and by then even the little bit of hunger should be gone.
I'm inspired by one of my clients. Sweet man, so far has released 41 lb. in 4 weeks with two weeks yet to go on his program! He's not hungry for the most part and feels great despite a demanding job that has had him on the road about 1/2 of the last month. I've asked him to write a testimonial because his story is so amazing!
I tried all the yoga breathing and hypnosis I know, but my brain just wouldn't shut up. Needless to say, I'm tired.
Usually when people say they have a stall, I ask if they slept well. Not sleeping well usually means no weight release. Today, I'm 1.3 lb. down. That's 3.1 so far for my total.
Because I had nearly a 24 hour day yesterday (with some stress perhaps? maybe why I couldn't sleep?) I was hungry; actual 'geez that sort of hurts, I'm really hungry' sort of hungry. I mean during the night I was. In four rounds during the course of a year, I can count on one hand the number of times I felt that. Last night was one.
It's not too bad this am, though. That's good, because I don't want to eat this early. It's only 6:30 am. I've been up about an hour. From about 7:30 until noon I'll be so busy I may not get a chance to eat, so I hope I'm also too busy to want to. I'll take some sliced apple and cukes just in case and have my chicken and grissini when I get home. And a nap.
4:53 pm
I didn't get a nap. I got home from morning appointments around 12:30 pm. It was back to back all morning, but I did manage just under a liter of water and my apple slices. I wasn't hungry for the cucumber slices.
Maybe an hour after I got home, I had lettuce with Asian Walden Farms dressing and chicken and a grissini. I got ready for class tonight, picked some stuff up around the house and made some phone calls. I wasn't tired. Currently, I am a little, but it's too late for the nap! I have to teach in Oshkosh tonight.
I did eat the cucumber slices with some apple cider vinegar and stevia mid-afternoon, and I just ate my dinner...100g piece of chicken and a grissini.
I've had at least 2 more liters of water and a 1/2 pot of decaf over the afternoon. I'm saving my apple for the ride home later.
I should sleep like a rock tonight!
I haven't been overly hungry most of the day. Once I ate my apple slices this am, I was fine. Just before it was time to eat dinner I was definitely ready to eat it, but not starving. Now I'm stuffed!
Ok, off to teach, and then gratefully fall into bed when I get home.
The next two days should be very busy too, and by then even the little bit of hunger should be gone.
I'm inspired by one of my clients. Sweet man, so far has released 41 lb. in 4 weeks with two weeks yet to go on his program! He's not hungry for the most part and feels great despite a demanding job that has had him on the road about 1/2 of the last month. I've asked him to write a testimonial because his story is so amazing!
Monday, January 18, 2010
2nd day
I did end up sharing my grapefruit with Dave last night. I was actually a little hungry for real by the end of the night. That didn't happen with rounds 1 and 4, but did with 2 and 3, so it's not unheard of.
Went to bed early. Both Dave and I were beat. (He's not on protocol.) I slept like a rock. It's now 8:22 and I have yet to eat, though I've been up for about an hour and a half. I would usually not until lunch, but I'll be working over the usual lunchtime, so today I will eat my 100g of protein before I leave and take an apple and my veggie to nibble.
7:55 pm
I did eat my 100g of chicken and grissino before work, 1/2 of a cuke for lunch and an apple in the afternoon.
I did about 1/2 hour on the Wii this afternoon.
Around 5 pm I had 100g of chicken on a bed of lettuce (about 2 cups) with a drizzle (perhaps 2 tsp.) of Walden Farms Bacon Ranch dressing and a grissino. A while later I split a grapefruit with my husband.
Walden Farms dressing is not Simeons approved...because it didn't exists in the 1950s. He did approve aspartame, which was a sugar substitute that did exists. (However, now we know that's bad, bad stuff.)
Splenda supposedly isn't any better, which is why many holistic caregivers warn against its use, but I don't use consume it frequently and it makes my salad palatable. I don't mind eating just lettuce without the mixed veggies, but I want a little something with flavor and variety. Walden Farms doesn't taste like a full-fat full-sugar (yummy) dressing, but it's not bad for the most part.
I did drink some decaf with flavored stevia before and after dinner.
It's now just after 8 pm. I've had my gallon of water for the day, and I'm about to get just a few more minutes of Wii in before I head up to read in bed and go to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow, but the busier I am, the less I think of food.
I'll be quite honest, it's been on my mind a few times today. While I was busy at work, I didn't notice. Being on the computer or reading, I noticed. The fact that I could distract myself with Wii and more water or coffee says to me that I may have gotten into some bad habits. I'm just now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable about it, but I know I'll wake up tomorrow probably a pound or two lighter (today I was down 1.8 lb.) and that makes it manageable for me. I also know (because I've done it so many times before) that in a day or two, there will be times I actually forget about food or feel like I can't eat all 500 calories. So I can deal.
Went to bed early. Both Dave and I were beat. (He's not on protocol.) I slept like a rock. It's now 8:22 and I have yet to eat, though I've been up for about an hour and a half. I would usually not until lunch, but I'll be working over the usual lunchtime, so today I will eat my 100g of protein before I leave and take an apple and my veggie to nibble.
7:55 pm
I did eat my 100g of chicken and grissino before work, 1/2 of a cuke for lunch and an apple in the afternoon.
I did about 1/2 hour on the Wii this afternoon.
Around 5 pm I had 100g of chicken on a bed of lettuce (about 2 cups) with a drizzle (perhaps 2 tsp.) of Walden Farms Bacon Ranch dressing and a grissino. A while later I split a grapefruit with my husband.
Walden Farms dressing is not Simeons approved...because it didn't exists in the 1950s. He did approve aspartame, which was a sugar substitute that did exists. (However, now we know that's bad, bad stuff.)
Splenda supposedly isn't any better, which is why many holistic caregivers warn against its use, but I don't use consume it frequently and it makes my salad palatable. I don't mind eating just lettuce without the mixed veggies, but I want a little something with flavor and variety. Walden Farms doesn't taste like a full-fat full-sugar (yummy) dressing, but it's not bad for the most part.
I did drink some decaf with flavored stevia before and after dinner.
It's now just after 8 pm. I've had my gallon of water for the day, and I'm about to get just a few more minutes of Wii in before I head up to read in bed and go to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow, but the busier I am, the less I think of food.
I'll be quite honest, it's been on my mind a few times today. While I was busy at work, I didn't notice. Being on the computer or reading, I noticed. The fact that I could distract myself with Wii and more water or coffee says to me that I may have gotten into some bad habits. I'm just now starting to feel a bit uncomfortable about it, but I know I'll wake up tomorrow probably a pound or two lighter (today I was down 1.8 lb.) and that makes it manageable for me. I also know (because I've done it so many times before) that in a day or two, there will be times I actually forget about food or feel like I can't eat all 500 calories. So I can deal.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
What this looks like for me...
Ok, people have asked, so I'll journal what this looks like for me as my day develops.
I started my HCG on Friday morning. I am doing Sub Q injections, one per day in the morning.
I 'loaded' on Friday. I had 3 pieces of bacon for breakfast just because that's what I typically have for breakfast, although I usually have either 2 oz. of cheese too...or fruit and cheese...but I didn't this time. I was going to go to McDs for lunch, but then I read a disgusting article about their beef that nauseated me, so I changed my mind. I had a handful of nuts. My dau went to the store, so I asked her to bring me a donut and potato chips. I ate the donut and perhaps a cup of chips. We decided the Cheesecake Factory sounded like a stellar idea for dinner.
I had two molasses cookies about 2 hours before dinner.
I ordered some garlic pasta dish with chicken. I ate about 1/4 to one 1/3 of that. I'd had 1 garlic cheese ball thing and 2 pieces of bread beforehand and was full. I ordered a piece of tiramasu cheesecake to take home for later. Oh, and I had a glass of wine.
We came home and played Wii for about an hour. I ate the cheesecake a few hours later and had another glass of wine.
My second loading day I split my leftover pasta dish from Cheesecake Factory and ate that for two of my meals (breakfast and lunch). I had two more molasses cookies during the day, and two pieces of pizza and about 6 'i-fries'...about the equivalent of 2 bread sticks from like Little Caesars I'd guess. I had 2 glasses of wine. (Hey, I'm not going to have any for about the next 3 months, ok?)I had about 1/2 of a dark chocolate candy bar with my wine.
I couldn't do another loading day. I feel awful when I eat like that, but I know that not getting the fat and calories in for at least two days means hunger for up to a week once the Very Low Calorie Intake (VLCI) begins. I've done it both ways, and I regretted not loading. So, anyway, I started my protocol days today instead of tomorrow.
Now, I know people who put away a lot more than this for loading days, but for me, this was stuffing myself to discomfort. The loading days are about loading with fat, not sugar, but the things I typically like and would miss have both. However, I did notice this time that lots of things didn't taste good to me anymore because I hadn't had them since my last loading day over 4 months ago.
So anyway, today, By 11:30 am I was hungry. I'd had 3 cups of coffee with stevia and about 1 liter of water. For lunch I had 100 g. chicken, 1 cup of cabbage with lemon and mustard, and 3/4 of an apple. I was full so I gave the other 1/4 to Dave and skipped my melba toast. I've had almost another liter of water as well.
I've done this so many times, I didn't count the calories. I'm not worried about not reaching 250 calories for this meal by skipping the melba. I'd estimate the apple to be large, so even with giving part of it away, I'd have to be pretty close to the 250 calories. And I'm full. I'm not going to stuff myself just to hit that mark.
If I wouldn't have cut the apple while the cabbage was steaming, I might have skipped that too and maybe had it in the afternoon if I got hungry before dinner. If that should happen, I'll have an apple (or 1/2 grapefruit, or maybe some cucumber) and just take whatever I eat away from the evening meal so the daily portions and selections are the same.
So, that's what it looks like so far today.
2:17 pm
Not feeling hungry exactly, but empty. I guess for 20 years I've lived at 'hungry' so often, with my stomach growling, a gnawing pain, headaches and shakiness, that for me, this isn't hungry. I wonder sometimes if when people say they are hungry, they really are, or they just think they are because they aren't full.
Also, I think there is sometimes a routine that needs to be broken. We are creatures of habit. We eat at the same time every day, or we have a glass of wine while reading a book, or we have a certain meal on a certain day; these things can be felt as 'hunger' when they are really just expectations our body or mind may have. It can take a few days to change those expectations.
That's why journaling is so important. Looking within to see if this is a NEED or a WANT can help determine the difference.
Like right now, I'm going to have some decaf coffee and another bottle of water. I will play Wii for awhile and see if the distraction and the water remove the 'empty'. If not, I'll have 1/2 of a grapefruit, because I'll recognize that as hunger, and dinner won't be for another 3 hours. Because I'm going to exercise, I may even have that melba that I didn't have with lunch. We'll see.
5:30 pm
I did get a little over an hour of Wii in, so I did have that grissini (thin italian bread stick) as an afternoon snack. For dinner I just had 100g of tenderloin steak, grilled, with 8 rosemary scented asparagus stalks and a grissini. I was full, so I didn't eat my 1/2 grapefruit. I figure I may want it later.
I started my HCG on Friday morning. I am doing Sub Q injections, one per day in the morning.
I 'loaded' on Friday. I had 3 pieces of bacon for breakfast just because that's what I typically have for breakfast, although I usually have either 2 oz. of cheese too...or fruit and cheese...but I didn't this time. I was going to go to McDs for lunch, but then I read a disgusting article about their beef that nauseated me, so I changed my mind. I had a handful of nuts. My dau went to the store, so I asked her to bring me a donut and potato chips. I ate the donut and perhaps a cup of chips. We decided the Cheesecake Factory sounded like a stellar idea for dinner.
I had two molasses cookies about 2 hours before dinner.
I ordered some garlic pasta dish with chicken. I ate about 1/4 to one 1/3 of that. I'd had 1 garlic cheese ball thing and 2 pieces of bread beforehand and was full. I ordered a piece of tiramasu cheesecake to take home for later. Oh, and I had a glass of wine.
We came home and played Wii for about an hour. I ate the cheesecake a few hours later and had another glass of wine.
My second loading day I split my leftover pasta dish from Cheesecake Factory and ate that for two of my meals (breakfast and lunch). I had two more molasses cookies during the day, and two pieces of pizza and about 6 'i-fries'...about the equivalent of 2 bread sticks from like Little Caesars I'd guess. I had 2 glasses of wine. (Hey, I'm not going to have any for about the next 3 months, ok?)I had about 1/2 of a dark chocolate candy bar with my wine.
I couldn't do another loading day. I feel awful when I eat like that, but I know that not getting the fat and calories in for at least two days means hunger for up to a week once the Very Low Calorie Intake (VLCI) begins. I've done it both ways, and I regretted not loading. So, anyway, I started my protocol days today instead of tomorrow.
Now, I know people who put away a lot more than this for loading days, but for me, this was stuffing myself to discomfort. The loading days are about loading with fat, not sugar, but the things I typically like and would miss have both. However, I did notice this time that lots of things didn't taste good to me anymore because I hadn't had them since my last loading day over 4 months ago.
So anyway, today, By 11:30 am I was hungry. I'd had 3 cups of coffee with stevia and about 1 liter of water. For lunch I had 100 g. chicken, 1 cup of cabbage with lemon and mustard, and 3/4 of an apple. I was full so I gave the other 1/4 to Dave and skipped my melba toast. I've had almost another liter of water as well.
I've done this so many times, I didn't count the calories. I'm not worried about not reaching 250 calories for this meal by skipping the melba. I'd estimate the apple to be large, so even with giving part of it away, I'd have to be pretty close to the 250 calories. And I'm full. I'm not going to stuff myself just to hit that mark.
If I wouldn't have cut the apple while the cabbage was steaming, I might have skipped that too and maybe had it in the afternoon if I got hungry before dinner. If that should happen, I'll have an apple (or 1/2 grapefruit, or maybe some cucumber) and just take whatever I eat away from the evening meal so the daily portions and selections are the same.
So, that's what it looks like so far today.
2:17 pm
Not feeling hungry exactly, but empty. I guess for 20 years I've lived at 'hungry' so often, with my stomach growling, a gnawing pain, headaches and shakiness, that for me, this isn't hungry. I wonder sometimes if when people say they are hungry, they really are, or they just think they are because they aren't full.
Also, I think there is sometimes a routine that needs to be broken. We are creatures of habit. We eat at the same time every day, or we have a glass of wine while reading a book, or we have a certain meal on a certain day; these things can be felt as 'hunger' when they are really just expectations our body or mind may have. It can take a few days to change those expectations.
That's why journaling is so important. Looking within to see if this is a NEED or a WANT can help determine the difference.
Like right now, I'm going to have some decaf coffee and another bottle of water. I will play Wii for awhile and see if the distraction and the water remove the 'empty'. If not, I'll have 1/2 of a grapefruit, because I'll recognize that as hunger, and dinner won't be for another 3 hours. Because I'm going to exercise, I may even have that melba that I didn't have with lunch. We'll see.
5:30 pm
I did get a little over an hour of Wii in, so I did have that grissini (thin italian bread stick) as an afternoon snack. For dinner I just had 100g of tenderloin steak, grilled, with 8 rosemary scented asparagus stalks and a grissini. I was full, so I didn't eat my 1/2 grapefruit. I figure I may want it later.
Last Round!!!
This round will bring me full circle. I can see the goal line and I should reach it by the one year mark since I began this process.
It's gone really fast and a lot has happened. My entire paradigm has shifted in regard to weight, food and self.
I begin this round with a 5.3 lb. gain from loading. Having done this several times, I know that will be gone in a couple of days, but I still don't like it. Especially since I had those two times in the last two months where I could not do my immediate response to a gain 2 lb. above my last HCG weight and ended up bumping up my new set point. Thus, I begin this round about 10 lb. higher than my last HCG weight.
Again, knowing that will be gone in the first week is of no consolation.
Also, knowing HOW I made stabilization more difficult over the holidays, while empowering, does not make me feel any better about it. Just because cheese and wine were fine the first 3 rounds (because I waited the full 3 weeks before slowly adding them, unlike over the holidays) didn't mean 'tweeking' the protocol was ok. It was a problem to add them right away, and I saw it right away, but was on the road and unable to correct it with a steak day on the dame day. Simeons really wasn't kidding. You have to stick to the program precisely.
I also learned that even a tiny bit of sugar is a big problem. Even once I had gone through stabilization and maintenance, one cookie was an issue. Just one. It's different for everyone, but I know now what it is for me. That doesn't mean I can't ever had a cookie. It means knowing what I know, I have to adjust elsewhere if I do. That, again, is empowering.
So, I'm off! I'm following my body's lead. I don't know how long this round will be or what my final numbers will be. I know what I WANT them to be. I'd love to be 119 in 21 days (which is few lb. higher than the Wii says I should be), but that's not likely to happen. It would if I were a man (and how is that fair?) but perhaps in 30 days I can make that. I'd prefer not to go another 40 days, but I will if I have to.
It's gone really fast and a lot has happened. My entire paradigm has shifted in regard to weight, food and self.
I begin this round with a 5.3 lb. gain from loading. Having done this several times, I know that will be gone in a couple of days, but I still don't like it. Especially since I had those two times in the last two months where I could not do my immediate response to a gain 2 lb. above my last HCG weight and ended up bumping up my new set point. Thus, I begin this round about 10 lb. higher than my last HCG weight.
Again, knowing that will be gone in the first week is of no consolation.
Also, knowing HOW I made stabilization more difficult over the holidays, while empowering, does not make me feel any better about it. Just because cheese and wine were fine the first 3 rounds (because I waited the full 3 weeks before slowly adding them, unlike over the holidays) didn't mean 'tweeking' the protocol was ok. It was a problem to add them right away, and I saw it right away, but was on the road and unable to correct it with a steak day on the dame day. Simeons really wasn't kidding. You have to stick to the program precisely.
I also learned that even a tiny bit of sugar is a big problem. Even once I had gone through stabilization and maintenance, one cookie was an issue. Just one. It's different for everyone, but I know now what it is for me. That doesn't mean I can't ever had a cookie. It means knowing what I know, I have to adjust elsewhere if I do. That, again, is empowering.
So, I'm off! I'm following my body's lead. I don't know how long this round will be or what my final numbers will be. I know what I WANT them to be. I'd love to be 119 in 21 days (which is few lb. higher than the Wii says I should be), but that's not likely to happen. It would if I were a man (and how is that fair?) but perhaps in 30 days I can make that. I'd prefer not to go another 40 days, but I will if I have to.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My 'rounds' thus far
Because the Simeons protocol has a limitation of not less than 21 (but not more than 41) days, in order to release the amount of weight I had to release, I had to do it in what is known to HCGers as 'rounds'. This is abbreviated as 'R' followed by the number given to the 'round'.
'Loading' is the 3 days leading up to beginning a program of Very Low Calorie Intake (abbreviated as VLCI)days. These consist of VERY low calorie intake as the term implies (500 calories per day, with a protein, fruit, veggie and bread stick at each of two meals). I experienced little to no hunger, great mood, better sleep and more energy. That is typical, though not universal.
That said, below is the synopsis of what I released and when.
R1
2.19.09
Start HCG 211 lb.; after 3 days of ‘loading’ 212.3
4.14.09
After 52 days VLCI, last HCG day weight 182.6; -29.7 lb.
Notice I did more than 40 days, and it was a mistake. The last 10 or 12 days were painfully slow, but I didn’t want to stop!
R2
5.8.09
177.5 (I continued to lose 5.1 lb. while trying to stabilize and maintain. I should have stopped that, but didn’t want to because I couldn’t believe it was still coming off so easily!); 182.8 after 2 days of loading
5.26.09
After 17 days VLCI, last HCG weight 171; -11.8 lb (I quit at this point because 11.8 lb. in 17 days seemed painfully slow and I thought perhaps it wasn’t working because my first round was longer than suggested and I only waited 3 weeks between rounds.)
R3
7.3.09
169.5; after 2 days of loading, 175
8.1.09
After 28 days of VLCI, final weight 154.6; -20.4 (I waited only 5 weeks between these last two rounds, when it should have been 8 weeks. Again, I was impatient. Again, I quit before the 41 days, as I considered this round a ‘failure’ at a loss of ‘only’ 20.4 lb. in 28 days.)
In retrospect, of course, it’s easy to see these last two ‘rounds’ were successful and could have resulted in a better release had I continued. I waited 8 weeks before trying again (although at this point it should have been 10 weeks between.)
R4
9.28.09
160 lb. before load; 159 after load
11.14.09
45 days on VLCI, final weight 136.3; -22.7
Currently maintaining about 5 lb. over that as I bumped up over the plus side of the 2 lb. +/- range twice over the holidays and was not able to immediately correct due to circumstances outside of my control. (I wasn’t home to be able to do a ‘steak day’ properly…I was on the road.) Complicating matters further is that I am exercising more (yoga and Wii)and I am frequently sore, so some of that gain may be muscle. I am still fitting into the clothes from that lower weight.
For those unfamiliar with Simeons' work, if you gain or lose more than two lb. in either direction, you MUST correct it immediately by adding calories or doing a 'steak day'; if the correction does not take place, the 'bump up' is your new set point goal.
It has now been 8 weeks since I ended my last round. My intention is to wait another 4 weeks to begin my final round, although I have to admit I’d really like to start again right now! I only have one more to go. I'm very close to my goal weight.
I may, actually, just to fit the weight release cycle within a different kind of cycle that tends to complicate things. But I haven't decided yet.
'Loading' is the 3 days leading up to beginning a program of Very Low Calorie Intake (abbreviated as VLCI)days. These consist of VERY low calorie intake as the term implies (500 calories per day, with a protein, fruit, veggie and bread stick at each of two meals). I experienced little to no hunger, great mood, better sleep and more energy. That is typical, though not universal.
That said, below is the synopsis of what I released and when.
R1
2.19.09
Start HCG 211 lb.; after 3 days of ‘loading’ 212.3
4.14.09
After 52 days VLCI, last HCG day weight 182.6; -29.7 lb.
Notice I did more than 40 days, and it was a mistake. The last 10 or 12 days were painfully slow, but I didn’t want to stop!
R2
5.8.09
177.5 (I continued to lose 5.1 lb. while trying to stabilize and maintain. I should have stopped that, but didn’t want to because I couldn’t believe it was still coming off so easily!); 182.8 after 2 days of loading
5.26.09
After 17 days VLCI, last HCG weight 171; -11.8 lb (I quit at this point because 11.8 lb. in 17 days seemed painfully slow and I thought perhaps it wasn’t working because my first round was longer than suggested and I only waited 3 weeks between rounds.)
R3
7.3.09
169.5; after 2 days of loading, 175
8.1.09
After 28 days of VLCI, final weight 154.6; -20.4 (I waited only 5 weeks between these last two rounds, when it should have been 8 weeks. Again, I was impatient. Again, I quit before the 41 days, as I considered this round a ‘failure’ at a loss of ‘only’ 20.4 lb. in 28 days.)
In retrospect, of course, it’s easy to see these last two ‘rounds’ were successful and could have resulted in a better release had I continued. I waited 8 weeks before trying again (although at this point it should have been 10 weeks between.)
R4
9.28.09
160 lb. before load; 159 after load
11.14.09
45 days on VLCI, final weight 136.3; -22.7
Currently maintaining about 5 lb. over that as I bumped up over the plus side of the 2 lb. +/- range twice over the holidays and was not able to immediately correct due to circumstances outside of my control. (I wasn’t home to be able to do a ‘steak day’ properly…I was on the road.) Complicating matters further is that I am exercising more (yoga and Wii)and I am frequently sore, so some of that gain may be muscle. I am still fitting into the clothes from that lower weight.
For those unfamiliar with Simeons' work, if you gain or lose more than two lb. in either direction, you MUST correct it immediately by adding calories or doing a 'steak day'; if the correction does not take place, the 'bump up' is your new set point goal.
It has now been 8 weeks since I ended my last round. My intention is to wait another 4 weeks to begin my final round, although I have to admit I’d really like to start again right now! I only have one more to go. I'm very close to my goal weight.
I may, actually, just to fit the weight release cycle within a different kind of cycle that tends to complicate things. But I haven't decided yet.
Monday, January 11, 2010
This was the easiest thing I've ever done to lose weight
Essentially what finally worked for me was this HCG protocol of Dr. Simeons. In this post, I'm including the links that I used to navigate my journey. Everything I had then, you have now if you want to go it alone.
I did a lot of stuff in my attempt to lose weight before this, some of it described below, but I also want to mention a couple of things I found to be very important before I found the Simeons protocol.
A few years ago, I cut out soy, which for me was like a toxin, come to find out. I went through about 2 weeks of hot flashes, cold sweats, insomnia, and a fatigue during the day that knocked me out for hours…literally. I’d sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon if I could.
Then I added some supplements that were good for me, though only each person can determine what is right for them. One important thing I discovered was coconut oil, but there were lots of other things.
Then a friend suggested I check out the HCG program. Dr. Simeons manuscript in its entirety is here for free, and that is where I started. Then I checked out YouTube videos for delmem and mamaclok (see sidebar links). Then I joined this Yahoo group where I found a ton of support and information. I checked out all the resources available at www.hcgprotocol.com and ordered what I needed to get started from there.
Checking out these resources will help anyone who is thinking about doing this decide if it is right for them. Why pay me if it’s all out there for free? No one has to. What I’ve done is pull together the information in an easy to access format that gets them to these resources (and many others) without having to do all the searching I did, that’s all.
So, what are the specifics?
This is NOT a ‘diet’. There is no cheating. The whole thing is precisely balanced and substitutions or alterations do not net the same amazing results. The point is to ‘reset’ the hypothalamus, so a 21-41 day commitment is required for the program, and another 6 weeks of stabilization follows.
The average weight release is a pound per day. For women, it tends to be a little less, for men a little more. Most people will lose 10-15 lb. the first two weeks.
Having seen the first two points, it should be obvious that anyone who doesn’t need to lose at least 20 lb. should not be attempting the program.
The HCG is administered either via injection or sublingually (a liquid held under the tongue). HCG is legal to order, possess and self-administer. It may be ordered via on-line pharmacies, obtained via a friendly physician, or is provided by clinics specializing in HCG weight loss.
The cost ranges from thousands at clinics, to reasonable medically monitored programs like the one I facilitate through Fox Valley Wellness (which is $1200 and includes all lab tests, support, monitoring, and supplies), to under $200 (for about a 50 lb. weight loss) if you do it yourself, depending on if you do injections for sublingual.
The HCG is combined with very low calorie input (VLCI). (In other places you will see this as VLCD, which is 'very low calorie diet', but I avoid the word 'diet' as I really want to stress that this is not a diet!) Low, as in 500 per day. The other 2000 calories needed to function is burned body fat. Most people are not hungry, though some people do go through a short and minor detoxification process as the toxins in their fat are released. Muscles loss does not occur. Lots of water is required.
Is it for everyone? No.
That said, I found the program very easy. Then again, I had tortured and abused my body for years trying to get rid of the fat. This was easy compared to everything else I'd done. I'm not sure if that was because it actually was easier, or because it actually worked so my perception was that it was easy because I had constant positive reinforcement. Either way, it was not difficult for me.
What I offer as far as mentoring is simply a synthesis of what I found and did for myself. I do not offer any medical advice as I am not a licensed medical professional. I do not offer counseling, as I am not a licensed mental health professional. I offer mentoring only. I am available via IM and email and charge in 15 minute increments of $10 each. That way people who need help navigating can get as little or as much as they need or can afford.
This has been a journey of self-discovery for me, and I hope it can be for you!
I did a lot of stuff in my attempt to lose weight before this, some of it described below, but I also want to mention a couple of things I found to be very important before I found the Simeons protocol.
A few years ago, I cut out soy, which for me was like a toxin, come to find out. I went through about 2 weeks of hot flashes, cold sweats, insomnia, and a fatigue during the day that knocked me out for hours…literally. I’d sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon if I could.
Then I added some supplements that were good for me, though only each person can determine what is right for them. One important thing I discovered was coconut oil, but there were lots of other things.
Then a friend suggested I check out the HCG program. Dr. Simeons manuscript in its entirety is here for free, and that is where I started. Then I checked out YouTube videos for delmem and mamaclok (see sidebar links). Then I joined this Yahoo group where I found a ton of support and information. I checked out all the resources available at www.hcgprotocol.com and ordered what I needed to get started from there.
Checking out these resources will help anyone who is thinking about doing this decide if it is right for them. Why pay me if it’s all out there for free? No one has to. What I’ve done is pull together the information in an easy to access format that gets them to these resources (and many others) without having to do all the searching I did, that’s all.
So, what are the specifics?
This is NOT a ‘diet’. There is no cheating. The whole thing is precisely balanced and substitutions or alterations do not net the same amazing results. The point is to ‘reset’ the hypothalamus, so a 21-41 day commitment is required for the program, and another 6 weeks of stabilization follows.
The average weight release is a pound per day. For women, it tends to be a little less, for men a little more. Most people will lose 10-15 lb. the first two weeks.
Having seen the first two points, it should be obvious that anyone who doesn’t need to lose at least 20 lb. should not be attempting the program.
The HCG is administered either via injection or sublingually (a liquid held under the tongue). HCG is legal to order, possess and self-administer. It may be ordered via on-line pharmacies, obtained via a friendly physician, or is provided by clinics specializing in HCG weight loss.
The cost ranges from thousands at clinics, to reasonable medically monitored programs like the one I facilitate through Fox Valley Wellness (which is $1200 and includes all lab tests, support, monitoring, and supplies), to under $200 (for about a 50 lb. weight loss) if you do it yourself, depending on if you do injections for sublingual.
The HCG is combined with very low calorie input (VLCI). (In other places you will see this as VLCD, which is 'very low calorie diet', but I avoid the word 'diet' as I really want to stress that this is not a diet!) Low, as in 500 per day. The other 2000 calories needed to function is burned body fat. Most people are not hungry, though some people do go through a short and minor detoxification process as the toxins in their fat are released. Muscles loss does not occur. Lots of water is required.
Is it for everyone? No.
It may not work well for people who do not need to lose at least 20 lb. or who lose easily with diet and exercise.
It will not work for people who THINK they need to lose 'those last 10 lb.' because this program will not allow you to lose too much weight either. A person who really doesn’t need to lose weight would struggle and get nowhere.
It will not work for people who insist on altering or ignoring the protocol guidelines or people who find excuses to break the rules. The program works for those who work it.
It will not work for people who are unwilling or unable to allow change. These are the people who ‘don’t like’ every single food choice. You have to remember it may be what you ate, how you ate, or how much you ate that put on the pounds in the first place. One or all must change if you want to take them off and keep them off. This program allows you the opportunity to do that by learning what works and doesn’t work for YOU, and you learn a great deal about yourself…but you have to be willing to make some changes.
That said, I found the program very easy. Then again, I had tortured and abused my body for years trying to get rid of the fat. This was easy compared to everything else I'd done. I'm not sure if that was because it actually was easier, or because it actually worked so my perception was that it was easy because I had constant positive reinforcement. Either way, it was not difficult for me.
What I offer as far as mentoring is simply a synthesis of what I found and did for myself. I do not offer any medical advice as I am not a licensed medical professional. I do not offer counseling, as I am not a licensed mental health professional. I offer mentoring only. I am available via IM and email and charge in 15 minute increments of $10 each. That way people who need help navigating can get as little or as much as they need or can afford.
This has been a journey of self-discovery for me, and I hope it can be for you!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thoughts on medically supervised programs
I actually had planned to post some resources and stuff, but felt the need to comment on medically supervised programs instead, because I feel torn between two worlds that seem to not really understand each other very well; the medical model that tends to look on people who traverse the HCG path alone as crazy, and the DYI folks who seem to have a bit of contempt for the clinics that offer HCG. I hope to bridge the gap I see between the two views (or at least narrow it a bit).
I began this journey all alone. I did so because I was desperate and I had no money to pay the exorbitant prices I saw being charged for the program at clinics. However, I also have a great deal of experience in research. I am relatively computer savvy. I am healthy, and had a plethora of testing not so long ago that told me so. I don't have a problem taking responsibility for my choices.
However, after releasing about 50 lb., I wanted to help launch this program through a wellness center. I knew there were a lot of people who would love to do this, but who would never go it alone. Perhaps because they just aren't comfortable with a foreign source for product, or because they are on medications or have health concerns, or just because they aren't very experienced at having to look every little thing up on the internet. And for some, I am reminded of a conversation I had years ago about teaching a class.
I do calligraphy. Someone suggested once that I teach a class on it. I laughed and told her I just learned by buying a book and teaching myself...anyone could do that. I would feel odd charging for something anyone could do. Her response is that not everyone could, and not everyone would want to. Some people would rather pay to have someone teach them.
I bring this up because I see a parallel with those people who would never benefit from the protocol if they had to do it themselves: Some don't have the resources or skills to figure it out; some just don't want to.
I don't disparage either group. They both have valid concerns. One of the biggest concerns with some of the DIYers (one in particular that I respect very much) is that he feels clinics are ripping people off. Considering I just talked to someone yesterday that spent $6000 and 6 months to lose 15 lb., I cannot argue that this never happens. BUT, to exclaim, "CHA-CHING" at a $1000-1200 price tag for the program fails to take so many things into consideration that I'd like explain why comparing the cost of the DIY option to the fee of a clinic is like comparing apples to airplanes.
Granted, the HCG itself is not that expensive when you get it from out of the country. Some people aren't comfortable with that option and prefer a US source from a compounding pharmacy, which may cost more.
The other supplies aren't expensive either, but if a person goes it alone, they have to find the resources and gather the supplies from those assorted places. That involves rounding stuff up from two or three different sources. Some may scoff and say it's no big deal...the sites I've posted already put everything in one place for people to easily find stuff. But for some it's NOT easy; it's overwhelming. I know. I've been helping people do it. For most people, they just want one site where they can order everything. They are willing to pay someone to make it simple. Clinics charge for this simplicity, yes, but there are many DIYers who are offering the same mentoring service for a fee. It would be great if we could all do it out of the goodness of our hearts, but the bills have to be paid, so our time is worth something. And in the case of the clinics, the bills include handouts, site maintenance, employee salaries, PR, insurance and any little extras that the CLIENTS have requested. For example, we include a calorie counting booklet for stabilization and a journal, among other things. These were not added to increase the profit; they were added to assist the client. I would love to know what Simeons charged for people to come to Italy and stay at his facility while they were on the protocol, and what little 'extras' he provided besides his medical expertise and supervision.
Yes, a clinic needs to make a profit in order to stay in business, but I will tell you, a fee of $700-$1200 is not a huge profit because of all the underlying costs involved. Most of us have spent that on diets that DIDN'T work. This works. That gives it value. It's likely what people while save on their grocery and entertainment expenses while they are on protocol, plus maybe $15 or $20 extra per week. That's a reasonable cost. Not to mention the support and encouragement they get from weekly appointments with a mentor. Could they find that on-line? Sure. I did. But if they wanted to, they would. Some prefer the personal accountability of checking in with someone and the fancy equipment. They want to pay for it. In addition, while most people won't need additional tests or supplements and extraneous 'stuff', some will. Medical supervision means those that need it will get it.
Finally, there is a psychological benefit to having a substantial investment for some people. There is also benefit to having to pay the full fee upfront. For some, that makes this a binding commitment. If they have to make a bit of a sacrifice, they are going to take it seriously. We tend to believe if it's expensive, it must be valuable, although I think we can all agree there is a line between 'valuable' and 'ridiculous'. In some cases it's not a line...it's a chasm. However, even in those cases someone is paying the scandalously high price or else the places charging those amount wouldn't be in business. The value of goods and services is what the market will bear. There are obviously people abusing the desperation of obese people, but it's important to recognize the difference between those people and the ones trying to offer a service at a reasonable price...even if your definition of 'reasonable' differs. Putting a legitimate protocol offering through a wellness center in the same category as a place that offers something priced 5 times higher (or more)isn't helping the consumer. Comparing the cost of doing the program alone to the cost of a reasonably priced alternative isn't either. Some of us are filling a need and making a difference for people who may not feel confident to go it alone.
I began this journey all alone. I did so because I was desperate and I had no money to pay the exorbitant prices I saw being charged for the program at clinics. However, I also have a great deal of experience in research. I am relatively computer savvy. I am healthy, and had a plethora of testing not so long ago that told me so. I don't have a problem taking responsibility for my choices.
However, after releasing about 50 lb., I wanted to help launch this program through a wellness center. I knew there were a lot of people who would love to do this, but who would never go it alone. Perhaps because they just aren't comfortable with a foreign source for product, or because they are on medications or have health concerns, or just because they aren't very experienced at having to look every little thing up on the internet. And for some, I am reminded of a conversation I had years ago about teaching a class.
I do calligraphy. Someone suggested once that I teach a class on it. I laughed and told her I just learned by buying a book and teaching myself...anyone could do that. I would feel odd charging for something anyone could do. Her response is that not everyone could, and not everyone would want to. Some people would rather pay to have someone teach them.
I bring this up because I see a parallel with those people who would never benefit from the protocol if they had to do it themselves: Some don't have the resources or skills to figure it out; some just don't want to.
I don't disparage either group. They both have valid concerns. One of the biggest concerns with some of the DIYers (one in particular that I respect very much) is that he feels clinics are ripping people off. Considering I just talked to someone yesterday that spent $6000 and 6 months to lose 15 lb., I cannot argue that this never happens. BUT, to exclaim, "CHA-CHING" at a $1000-1200 price tag for the program fails to take so many things into consideration that I'd like explain why comparing the cost of the DIY option to the fee of a clinic is like comparing apples to airplanes.
Granted, the HCG itself is not that expensive when you get it from out of the country. Some people aren't comfortable with that option and prefer a US source from a compounding pharmacy, which may cost more.
The other supplies aren't expensive either, but if a person goes it alone, they have to find the resources and gather the supplies from those assorted places. That involves rounding stuff up from two or three different sources. Some may scoff and say it's no big deal...the sites I've posted already put everything in one place for people to easily find stuff. But for some it's NOT easy; it's overwhelming. I know. I've been helping people do it. For most people, they just want one site where they can order everything. They are willing to pay someone to make it simple. Clinics charge for this simplicity, yes, but there are many DIYers who are offering the same mentoring service for a fee. It would be great if we could all do it out of the goodness of our hearts, but the bills have to be paid, so our time is worth something. And in the case of the clinics, the bills include handouts, site maintenance, employee salaries, PR, insurance and any little extras that the CLIENTS have requested. For example, we include a calorie counting booklet for stabilization and a journal, among other things. These were not added to increase the profit; they were added to assist the client. I would love to know what Simeons charged for people to come to Italy and stay at his facility while they were on the protocol, and what little 'extras' he provided besides his medical expertise and supervision.
Yes, a clinic needs to make a profit in order to stay in business, but I will tell you, a fee of $700-$1200 is not a huge profit because of all the underlying costs involved. Most of us have spent that on diets that DIDN'T work. This works. That gives it value. It's likely what people while save on their grocery and entertainment expenses while they are on protocol, plus maybe $15 or $20 extra per week. That's a reasonable cost. Not to mention the support and encouragement they get from weekly appointments with a mentor. Could they find that on-line? Sure. I did. But if they wanted to, they would. Some prefer the personal accountability of checking in with someone and the fancy equipment. They want to pay for it. In addition, while most people won't need additional tests or supplements and extraneous 'stuff', some will. Medical supervision means those that need it will get it.
Finally, there is a psychological benefit to having a substantial investment for some people. There is also benefit to having to pay the full fee upfront. For some, that makes this a binding commitment. If they have to make a bit of a sacrifice, they are going to take it seriously. We tend to believe if it's expensive, it must be valuable, although I think we can all agree there is a line between 'valuable' and 'ridiculous'. In some cases it's not a line...it's a chasm. However, even in those cases someone is paying the scandalously high price or else the places charging those amount wouldn't be in business. The value of goods and services is what the market will bear. There are obviously people abusing the desperation of obese people, but it's important to recognize the difference between those people and the ones trying to offer a service at a reasonable price...even if your definition of 'reasonable' differs. Putting a legitimate protocol offering through a wellness center in the same category as a place that offers something priced 5 times higher (or more)isn't helping the consumer. Comparing the cost of doing the program alone to the cost of a reasonably priced alternative isn't either. Some of us are filling a need and making a difference for people who may not feel confident to go it alone.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A New Year a new me!
Almost a year ago, I began the most amazing and unbelievable journey. When I took that first step, I never in a million years would have predicted where I am today.
This is me December, 2009 after releasing 75 lb.
What I won't post are the 'before' pictures, although I've been told I should. It is impressive to have a visual of the difference between 210 lb. on a 5'1" frame and the same frame 75 lb. lighter.
However, I don't see ME when I look at those old pictures. Although I lived at various stages of fat for the last 20 years or so, it wasn't me. Only someone who has been there can understand what I mean when I say that's not who I was in my head. I was in a big old fat suit from which I could not escape. The toll that takes on the psyche is something I can't explain either.
Especially hard was that I did all the 'right' things to lose weight. Of course, in desperation I also did a lot of wrong things, too. Neither worked for me. It's crazy-making to be doing what 'everybody' says you are supposed to do and still not get results. It's crazy-making to keep getting fatter when you are eating reasonable amounts of healthy foods and still gaining. It's crazy-making to be walking miles a day, doing yoga, lifting free weights and roller blading, and having people tell you you'd lose weight if you were just more active...like 2-3 hours a day isn't enough. It's crazy-making to have family and friends 'just concerned about your health' when you have spent less on health care in 10 years than they have in 1 because you ARE healthy...but are not seen as such because if you are obese, of course you can't be. It's crazy-making to take a nutrition class, keeping charts of your movement and every morsel of food that's passed your lips, only to be told you must be lying because there is no way you could not lose weight if you really moved that much and ate that little.
Then there was the stupidity out of sheer desperation...Eat all the carbs you want, but no fat? Did it. Eat all the protein you want but no carbs? Did it. Eat nothing but nasty tasting protein shakes? Did it. Appetite suppressants? Fat absorbing pills? Did it, did it.
Dispersed between the years of damn near killing myself, there were times of despondency where I just couldn't do it any more...why weigh yourself if the scale only goes up? Why exercise and deprive yourself of food if it doesn't seem to matter at all? During these times of trying to just 'accept myself the way I am as long as I'm healthy' I just kept getting bigger, because of course the cognitive dissonance of doing what I should be doing but not looking like I should look was depressing the hell out of me, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Twenty years I'd wasted doing essentially the same things. Several doctors over that time said I was perfectly healthy, which messed with my head. How could I be healthy if my body didn't work the way they said it should? Wasn't there one more test they could do? Wasn't there some hormonal imbalance or something they should check? No, they said, just eat less and exercise more.
At the height of my misery a friend asked if I'd looked into the hCG protocol. I had not, but began to do so the moment I got off the phone with her. For about a month I researched everything I could about the protocol and about hCG. I watched dozens of YouTube videos, read websites, and visited my online university library to scope out everything I could about hCG.
The protocol was offered through several websites and clinics, but at anywhere from $3000-$6000 from what I was seeing. Insurance doesn't cover it because weight loss is 'off-label use' which means doctors can certainly prescribe it for weight loss, but it has not been FDA approved for that use. (It is approved at much higher doses for fertility and other uses.) That meant I've have to come up with perhaps 10k to lose as much as I needed to lose. That was not an option.
To do it myself, without medical supervision, meant I'd have to order from an overseas pharmacy and gather all the information to do it from a variety of sources. It meant I'd have to take a risk. But wasn't that what I was already doing with every yo-yo cycle? My fat was going to kill me one way or the other. I'd missed out on years of my life just hiding from people.
Make no mistake; it was scary. Of course I asked myself how safe the hCG might be. Of course I thought that losing a pound per day was impossible, that I'd never survive on 500 calories per day. It was all too good to be true. Of course part of my brain said it was unhealthy to lose a pound or two per day...and then I'd remember the people who said that were the same people who had contributed to my current problem with the 'wisdom' they insisted was absolute and universal truth.
I was sure I'd be starving, grumpy and dragged out on 500 calories per day, because I had been before on 800 or 900 calories a day. I knew there was a chance if it did work, it could be due to the placebo effect. I didn't care. If it worked, I didn't care how. So I jumped.
I released 13 lb. in the first two weeks. By the end of the first 'round' (typically lasting 40 days) I was 30 lb. lighter.
After a 'rest' where I simply maintained that weight, effortlessly I might add, I did another round. I made some mistakes in my exuberance to continue too fast for that round and the next. I released 20 lb. in the 40 days total between the two, though. This was better than any previous attempt, but disappointing after the first round. Still, I was packing up clothes to take to Goodwill every few weeks. I was just shrinking out of them so fast!
It was around this time that when I'd run into people I knew they often didn't recognize me. This was the case at a wellness center where I had worked with hypnosis clients. I'd been there for about a year and a half, and the doctor who referred clients to me for chronic pain issues didn't know who I was when we ran into each other in the hall.
I decided perhaps since he'd seen the results already, maybe he'd be willing to offer this program to people. Like I said, the programs I had sought out through physicians were prohibitively expensive. I hoped we could put together a program at a price that would be within reach of those who needed to be closely monitored if they were to even consider it.
He spent several weeks researching it on his own, and then agreed we could. I had spent that time coming up with the intellectual material required to support clients through the protocol. This was a synthesis of what I had sought out independently for my own benefit, but also included were some life coaching/mentoring techniques I had adapted from my other job as a childbirth educator.
I was appointed the Real Weight Release(TM) program coordinator and our program launched in November 2009. By the end of December 2009, our clients had released over 300 lb.
There are those who insist that hCG doesn't work, that it's a scam or placebo. To that I have to say: "Those who say it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the people doing it." [Chinese Proverb] I have reclaimed my authentic self and learned a great deal about how my body works by following Dr. Simeons protocol. There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful he was willing to think creatively and develop this program.
On the web there are dozens of people now offering kits and mentoring for those that must, for one reason or another, go this alone. I am now tossing my hat into that ring.
I love my job with Fox Valley Wellness Center, don't get me wrong. Seeing people begin the program and then six weeks later hardly being able to recognize them because they have lost 25 or 35 lb. (and have found their self-respect)...well, that's the best thing in the world.
And the reason that I approached the Center with this is that I agree 100% that there are some people who should NOT attempt this without medical supervision. I am happy to say that if people live anywhere near Fond du Lac, WI, there is now an affordable way to do this program and be monitored.
Realistically, however, I know there are some who won't find such support locally; people who would never benefit from this protocol if the only way available to them were financially or geographically out of reach.
If there seems to be interest in it, I'll post again with some PayPal payment options. Knowing that some would require only the bare bones of 'tell me where to look' while others need mentoring and support throughout, I'll offer my time in 15 minute increments. I'll also post here the resources that I used to get started, as well as resources I run across while continuing my research. For self-starters, that may be enough to get going.
I wanted to share my story, lengthy though it is, because I know there are others like me. This experience has led me to many discoveries I think may be helpful to them. I hope so.
This is me December, 2009 after releasing 75 lb.
What I won't post are the 'before' pictures, although I've been told I should. It is impressive to have a visual of the difference between 210 lb. on a 5'1" frame and the same frame 75 lb. lighter.
However, I don't see ME when I look at those old pictures. Although I lived at various stages of fat for the last 20 years or so, it wasn't me. Only someone who has been there can understand what I mean when I say that's not who I was in my head. I was in a big old fat suit from which I could not escape. The toll that takes on the psyche is something I can't explain either.
Especially hard was that I did all the 'right' things to lose weight. Of course, in desperation I also did a lot of wrong things, too. Neither worked for me. It's crazy-making to be doing what 'everybody' says you are supposed to do and still not get results. It's crazy-making to keep getting fatter when you are eating reasonable amounts of healthy foods and still gaining. It's crazy-making to be walking miles a day, doing yoga, lifting free weights and roller blading, and having people tell you you'd lose weight if you were just more active...like 2-3 hours a day isn't enough. It's crazy-making to have family and friends 'just concerned about your health' when you have spent less on health care in 10 years than they have in 1 because you ARE healthy...but are not seen as such because if you are obese, of course you can't be. It's crazy-making to take a nutrition class, keeping charts of your movement and every morsel of food that's passed your lips, only to be told you must be lying because there is no way you could not lose weight if you really moved that much and ate that little.
Then there was the stupidity out of sheer desperation...Eat all the carbs you want, but no fat? Did it. Eat all the protein you want but no carbs? Did it. Eat nothing but nasty tasting protein shakes? Did it. Appetite suppressants? Fat absorbing pills? Did it, did it.
Dispersed between the years of damn near killing myself, there were times of despondency where I just couldn't do it any more...why weigh yourself if the scale only goes up? Why exercise and deprive yourself of food if it doesn't seem to matter at all? During these times of trying to just 'accept myself the way I am as long as I'm healthy' I just kept getting bigger, because of course the cognitive dissonance of doing what I should be doing but not looking like I should look was depressing the hell out of me, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Twenty years I'd wasted doing essentially the same things. Several doctors over that time said I was perfectly healthy, which messed with my head. How could I be healthy if my body didn't work the way they said it should? Wasn't there one more test they could do? Wasn't there some hormonal imbalance or something they should check? No, they said, just eat less and exercise more.
At the height of my misery a friend asked if I'd looked into the hCG protocol. I had not, but began to do so the moment I got off the phone with her. For about a month I researched everything I could about the protocol and about hCG. I watched dozens of YouTube videos, read websites, and visited my online university library to scope out everything I could about hCG.
The protocol was offered through several websites and clinics, but at anywhere from $3000-$6000 from what I was seeing. Insurance doesn't cover it because weight loss is 'off-label use' which means doctors can certainly prescribe it for weight loss, but it has not been FDA approved for that use. (It is approved at much higher doses for fertility and other uses.) That meant I've have to come up with perhaps 10k to lose as much as I needed to lose. That was not an option.
To do it myself, without medical supervision, meant I'd have to order from an overseas pharmacy and gather all the information to do it from a variety of sources. It meant I'd have to take a risk. But wasn't that what I was already doing with every yo-yo cycle? My fat was going to kill me one way or the other. I'd missed out on years of my life just hiding from people.
Make no mistake; it was scary. Of course I asked myself how safe the hCG might be. Of course I thought that losing a pound per day was impossible, that I'd never survive on 500 calories per day. It was all too good to be true. Of course part of my brain said it was unhealthy to lose a pound or two per day...and then I'd remember the people who said that were the same people who had contributed to my current problem with the 'wisdom' they insisted was absolute and universal truth.
I was sure I'd be starving, grumpy and dragged out on 500 calories per day, because I had been before on 800 or 900 calories a day. I knew there was a chance if it did work, it could be due to the placebo effect. I didn't care. If it worked, I didn't care how. So I jumped.
I released 13 lb. in the first two weeks. By the end of the first 'round' (typically lasting 40 days) I was 30 lb. lighter.
After a 'rest' where I simply maintained that weight, effortlessly I might add, I did another round. I made some mistakes in my exuberance to continue too fast for that round and the next. I released 20 lb. in the 40 days total between the two, though. This was better than any previous attempt, but disappointing after the first round. Still, I was packing up clothes to take to Goodwill every few weeks. I was just shrinking out of them so fast!
It was around this time that when I'd run into people I knew they often didn't recognize me. This was the case at a wellness center where I had worked with hypnosis clients. I'd been there for about a year and a half, and the doctor who referred clients to me for chronic pain issues didn't know who I was when we ran into each other in the hall.
I decided perhaps since he'd seen the results already, maybe he'd be willing to offer this program to people. Like I said, the programs I had sought out through physicians were prohibitively expensive. I hoped we could put together a program at a price that would be within reach of those who needed to be closely monitored if they were to even consider it.
He spent several weeks researching it on his own, and then agreed we could. I had spent that time coming up with the intellectual material required to support clients through the protocol. This was a synthesis of what I had sought out independently for my own benefit, but also included were some life coaching/mentoring techniques I had adapted from my other job as a childbirth educator.
I was appointed the Real Weight Release(TM) program coordinator and our program launched in November 2009. By the end of December 2009, our clients had released over 300 lb.
There are those who insist that hCG doesn't work, that it's a scam or placebo. To that I have to say: "Those who say it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the people doing it." [Chinese Proverb] I have reclaimed my authentic self and learned a great deal about how my body works by following Dr. Simeons protocol. There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful he was willing to think creatively and develop this program.
On the web there are dozens of people now offering kits and mentoring for those that must, for one reason or another, go this alone. I am now tossing my hat into that ring.
I love my job with Fox Valley Wellness Center, don't get me wrong. Seeing people begin the program and then six weeks later hardly being able to recognize them because they have lost 25 or 35 lb. (and have found their self-respect)...well, that's the best thing in the world.
And the reason that I approached the Center with this is that I agree 100% that there are some people who should NOT attempt this without medical supervision. I am happy to say that if people live anywhere near Fond du Lac, WI, there is now an affordable way to do this program and be monitored.
Realistically, however, I know there are some who won't find such support locally; people who would never benefit from this protocol if the only way available to them were financially or geographically out of reach.
If there seems to be interest in it, I'll post again with some PayPal payment options. Knowing that some would require only the bare bones of 'tell me where to look' while others need mentoring and support throughout, I'll offer my time in 15 minute increments. I'll also post here the resources that I used to get started, as well as resources I run across while continuing my research. For self-starters, that may be enough to get going.
I wanted to share my story, lengthy though it is, because I know there are others like me. This experience has led me to many discoveries I think may be helpful to them. I hope so.
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