First Steak Day in Last Round (ever?)

I made it through the first week of stabilization just fine, but then blew it over the holiday weekend!

Granted, most of the stuff was 'allowable'...I tried Miracle Noodles (no calories, no carbs, no sugar, no starch) and I made low carb treats from the Healthy Indulgences site (gluten-free, sugar-free, but unfortunately not-calorie free!) as I experimented with making stuff with natural sugar substitutes besides stevia. Either of these would likely have been ok alone, but not only did I try them both in the same weekend, I then spent 10 hours cleaning my carpets and moving furniture (and was sore for the next two days) and I had one more glass of wine that I knew my body would allow (for the purposes of weight...I wasn't blotto or anything),which I also had too soon after dinner (I've discovered if I drink wine with food, it shows up on the scale. If I wait, it doesn't as long as I only have about 6-8 oz.-or about two 3 oz. glasses.)

So I threw all that in there in one weekend, and I was up over the two lb. mark. I knew that likely if I just took it easy yesterday, I would probably be fine, but I didn't want to take that chance. The Miracle Noodles are pure fiber that doesn't digest, but does absorb water. Sore muscles hold water to heal. The wine and sugar free treats did bump up my calorie count, but I suspected once all the water was out of my system, I'd be somewhere close to where I should be. Like I said though, if I was wrong, my window was gone, so I didn't want to risk it.

I did the steak day yesterday and was down 2.8 today.

For breakfast, we had a 3-cheese asparagus omelet (I had about one egg, Dave had two) and 1 cup of strawberries (I had chocolate stevia with mine, Dave had none). For lunch we are planning a picnic, and I will have tuna and a tomato/cuke salad. I don't know what Dave will have; maybe the same, maybe something more substantial. We'll take some macs with us when we go out gallivanting in case we hike or something and need a little extra protein. If Chelsea goes with us, she'll probably have something grain based, and that will make me sad.

For dinner, I'm planning a chicken/Gorgonzola salad with apple slices (or pear?) and a few pecans. I know with that plan, and the amount of studying I'll be doing and the phsycial exercise we'll incorporate into the day, I should be on track. (Just FYI, the brain uses up to 500 calories worth of fuel to function, while my hike may burn 350 or so.)

During the week, as long as I plan ahead, I'll be too busy to get off track at all.

Surpirse!

I thought that steak last night would do me in, all things considered. But I'm down .7 lb. this a.m.!

Yesterday, I had an apple, 2 slices of bacon and several cups of coffee with heavy cream for breakfast. I had a handful of nuts for a snack, and then a deviled egg later. All total I had 3 deviled eggs over the course of the day.

We ate dinner early, and that consisted of a big steak (I'd say a good 6 or 7 oz.) and roasted green beans with pine nuts, garlic cloves and balsamic vinegar.

I made 'fudge', a recipe I found that was similar to Choco-delite but with almond butter in place of most of the coconut oil. [Note: I'll try this again with less almond butter and more coconut oil, because while it was ok, it was very, very sticky and too...almond-y.] I had several nibbles at various stages to see how it was turning out.

It was so nice, we hung out on the patio far too late and I enjoyed 3 3 oz. glasses of wine. Three. Along with the steak, I was figuring that alone would make today a steak day, but then add in lack of sleep from the late bedtime, and the obnoxious little bird that merrily decided 3 am was a great time to begin a 2-hour LOUD song fest and yes, I will say again I was pleasantly surprised to have a large loss instead of a gain.

Bless me Goddess for I have sinned...

Eh. Whatever.
I gained .4, I lost .4, but for the first few days I stuck like glue. This weekend, I broke into the Merlot.

I did yoga and biked, so for the most part I think I'm ok. I made eggs in case I need to do an 'egg day' since Dave won't be able to cook me steak for a 'steak day'. I had steak today, in any case, and I don't like it enough to do it two days in a row. When I eat it other than during a 'steak day' where it is the ONLY thing I eat, it makes me gain, so I anticipate at least a small gain tomorrow.

But other than today, I'm staying under my recommended calorie count (even with the wine) and no sugars or starches (ok, the blue cheese was pre-crumbled, but I got some more today that isn't) so I'm all good. I'm eating less dairy , more raw, and going easy on the bacon, unlike last time. I'm eating sort of a cross between 'primal' and 'paleo'. I'm not worrying about fat, just counting it and keeping it on the down-low a little bit...not avoiding it. I'm eating mostly tuna, eggs and chicken for my protein, with cheese in small amounts for flavor, like a seasoning instead of a primary protein. I am going easy on the nuts, but I am eating them on average once per day, early in the day. I'm eating a couple of veggies and fruits per day. I am drinking coffee (with cream) only in the a.m. and wine only in the p.m. just in the last two days. Otherwise, I'm drinking water or the stevia packets that are meant to be like Crystal packets for bottled water.

So, for now, I'm ok as far as stabilizing. Granted, it's only been 5 days, with 3 of those pretty much protocol days without hCG, but it's looking decent.

I'm aware, hardly fair

Sometimes I have clients who get very discouraged because they aren't seeing typical results, or because they are doing the exact same thing as someone else they know on protocol (or are sticking to protocol even more rigidly!) and not getting similar results.

Last night, I was at an event. Events are hard on protocol, but my dh was being honored for some work in the community, so it was important to be there.

I ate before I left so I wouldn't be tempted to eat there. I didn't eat there, nor did I have any wine, though as you know if you've been following, I really, really wanted some!

He did really well. His strategical approach was different however. He did have a glass of wine, and he did eat, but he ate the steamed veggies (not ones on the list, but a decent choice non-the-less) and he ate the chicken...he just took the pastry off and scraped off the cream sauce. He ate no bread or rice. (BTW, he explained this to me, I was not monitoring him...I'm a mentor, I do not police my clients. The scale holds them accountable, not me-unless they choose to use me for that purpose.)

I'm curious to see how he did because I gained .2 today.

Giving up the ghost

For the last two weeks I've been essentially the same. I've remained at a BMI of around 24, and I am just barely under the 130 mark. It's not where I wanted to be, but at the rate I'm going, there's no way I'll make my goal (5.1 lb. away still) in the next two weeks.

And I'm hungry. I know I had a zero loss today because I had to have some extra protein yesterday...twice. I was so hungry it hurt.

This is the lowest I've been, and have been able to stay, in the last 6 months, but I seem to get hung up right about here. Over the holidays, it was where everything stopped working. The last round, it's where I was stuck. Now again. Maybe it's not because I messed up the last two rounds...maybe it's just where I need to be and I should stop trying to force my body to be smaller. I'm comfortable here, and I'm actually at a place where people say, "You aren't going this AGAIN, are you?" It's not the goal I had in mind 18 months ago when I began on this path, but maybe it's where I am supposed to be and I should just accept it. I just wish I would have come to that conclusion before paying the big bucks!

So, no shot today. Today and tomorrow will be 500 calorie days. I'm taking my stabilization and maintenance very seriously. Last time I got a little lazy. The last two times, actually. I added stuff too soon once, and frankly I just think nothing worked right last time, so the 'locking in' part didn't either. This time, everything worked like it was supposed to (including my body, I'm trusting) so I think it will be easier. I just have to be patient...that will be the hard part! :-)

I'm still standing

The hunger passed for the most part, so I kept going. I'm up .2 lb. this a.m. but that could just be the difference in weighing earlier. I told myself I'd keep going as long as I didn't gain, but I don't think it's a gain because I feel smaller. I'll know more when I try on clothes for work.

I debate every day whether I want to keep going. I'm 5.7 lb. away from goal, and I have up to 2 more weeks to go. As Dave reminded me, I started this on my b-day, so 6 weeks is the end of May. It makes sense to continue to the end of the week since I already have my hCG, and I won't be working so hard, so perhaps I won't be so hungry and my body not so sore.

So, I keep going...for now.

I am so ready to end this!

I don't know if I'll make my goal. I may be about as far as I'm going to go.

Today was a .4 lb. release. I tell my clients to look at the big picture when they get this far into it and have stalls or small losses, and I'm telling myself that 2 days in a row of .4 lb. equals .8 lb., which is almost a pound and will equal almost 3 lb. in a week. That would be almost 6 lb. in two weeks, and that would be almost my goal.

But I went to bed early last night because I was hungry. I woke up hungry and had a handful of South Beach approved nuts because it was only 7:30 am and I knew I'd never make it to lunch, even if I had an apple. I was up and down a ladder yesterday, mudding some drywall on a ceiling, which made my right arm weak, so I know that plays into it. I'm sore today. But if I'm going to be hungry and this is going to take willpower, I don't know if I want that last few pounds bad enough!

The carpet guys are here, and after that I'll be busy getting my basement back together, and then cleaning, plus school and work; maybe I won't notice hunger so much? We'll see.

I'll take it

Down .4 lb. today. This is not enough to mitigate the upward turn of yesterday's .7 gain, but at least it's going in the right direction. I'm still in the 'normal' range, but just by the skin of my teeth.

My only 'goal' at this point is to be at 129 by Monday. That's only 2 lb., so I should be able to do that in 6 days. I better or I quit! I'd really like to make my ultimate goal of 124 before I quit for good and for real. Everything is working like it should, so I don't know why I couldn't expect that, but this is always a journey of acceptance of what my body wants, not always what I want.

Seriously?

I am up .7 of a lb. and that's horseshit!

I refuse to do an apple day. Even though I'm not impressed with the last week's total, I feel something here isn't right, and I' going to ride it out. IF I went the rest of the week with stalls or gains I might consider drastic measures. As it is, so far I'm just annoyed.

I actually woke up and FELT bigger today, so the gain was no surprise when I stepped on. However, I just can't see where it would have come from, other than that Coco-delight I had. It's not been a problem before, but perhaps it was this time. I took the risk, this may be the price.

So, today, I'm doing 1/2 hour of the infrared sauna, I'm going back to cabbage (I was out for a couple of days, thus eating cukes and salad, alternately) and strawberries or grapefruit (I was out so was eating just apples).

Mentally, I'm nearing the end. I'll try a few things to see if my body is getting there too.

Down another pound!

So, it's not much for two days worth of releasing, but it's something and again, going in the right direction. My Wii says 6.6 or 6.8 lb. away from goal...I can't recall exactly. Anyway, it was a little bit closer. I got my B12 today, so if things continue as they have, that will boost me a little.

I am fitting into some smaller pants today. I was thinking this weekend, I don't know how much difference another6 lb. will make. Will I really feel that much smaller? Is it really worth two more weeks of the same boring foods? I mean, it is because I'm goal oriented, but how much difference will it make? Funny how in any other program, or at other points in my life--even when I first started this program--every ounce counted. Now, it's not as big of a concern for me just because I can't imagine it will make much of a difference.

But it must. I mean, I think these pants are a 6 and last week the 8s fit well. Stuff is getting too big (or rather I'm getting small!) but as far as how I feel it's pretty much the same. Of course, in another 6 lb. or more, that may change. Shrinking out of something always makes it more real than the numbers on the scale.

My basement will be done by the end of the week and I'll be able to do Wii and yoga again. I miss it! And it's been too cold and crappy to walk. I'm looking forward to moving my body!

Skip Day

Yesterday was a .2 gain, and today is a no weigh day as I got up so late that I missed the window of opportunity.

I wasn't too worried about a .2 int he wrong direction, only because I was still below the 'normal' line. :-) That, and I have stuck to protocol strictly, and knowing it works if you work it, I'm not concerned. I'm just now moving into week 4, with 2 more to go, and I've not felt the need for macs or anything! I stuck strictly until last night when I had a piece of chocolate delight. It wasn't even because I needed it really, it was because I licked the spoon when I made it for my honey and it tasted good, so I had a piece when it was done. It's not impacted me in a negative way before, so I'm not worried about that either. I'm not making a habit of it. It was a conscious choice knowing there might be consequences, but most other times, one piece didn't even show up, or even seemed to precipitate a bigger release.

I'm confident I can make my goal in two weeks, but I am looking forward to stabilization, I must say. There are things I'm starting to miss. I wouldn't call it hard, but there are more and more moments as I go along. I'm hoping those last 8 lb. or so are worth it, but who knows? I can't imagine I'll feel much smaller, and I'm not sure what size I'll be into at that point. I feel really good right now, but I'm still going a.) because I paid for it and b.) to see if I can.

Still normal!

Last time I was in this range, it was only for a day. I think it only happened a couple of times, and both times it was short-lived. This time, I'm still going in the right direction at least! I'm 7.5 lb. away from my goal!

When I first started almost a year-and-a-half ago, I hoped I'd reach 124, or a size 5. This is where I had spent much of high school and my early 20s and was quite comfortable there...if I had been listening to myself instead of the reject doctor who told me I needed to lose 10 lb. (actually that was when I was 112-116), or a couple of guys who were 'just trying to be honest' to told me my butt was big, or the family member who patrolled my every bite and told me how fat I was going to be if I ate this or ate that.

But in pictures, I see myself as where I should have been all along. I see my sense of style was my own. I didn't have a self-loathing yet. In fact I was obnoxiously confident...except about my weight when those comments made me question my own perceptions and feel a little crazy at the cognitive dissonance.

Anyway, starting this journey, I would have been happy with a size 10-12 at somewhere around 145. I wasn't sure a 50 lb. drop was within reach, much less nearly double that. Last time I was 132 was the year after high school when I had my engagement picture taken (I then spent the next year getting down to 102, and when right back up to about 124-6 for a few years) and I didn't look like I do now. I looked heavier. Or maybe it's all relative?

Now I'm within reach of that goal. I'm at NORMAL on the Wii! Why that makes me happy I cannot say. I used to have a bumper sticker that said, "Why be normal?" which was sort of my philosophy of life. Ironic.

I won't weigh again for a couple of days as my Wii is still in my living room as my basement is tore up, but it looks like some lovely men are going to be working to fix that this weekend!! Between their efforts and the carpet guys, who should call any time now and be able to get that carpet in within a couple of days, I will be starting to move stuff back where it belongs. Yay! In any case, I should be able to weigh in Monday morning at least, and it should remain where it is. I may even be a couple of pounds closer to my goal!!!

This is a good thing, because last night was rough. First of all, I got out of class early. Sometimes that is occasion to kick my feet up with a glass of wine. Wanted to. Couldn't.

Then I walk in the house and my dau had been cooking food. To be fair, even though I've asked her not to cook late at night, she didn't expect me home for another couple of hours. Still, within minutes, my stomach hurt and I was fighting the urge to eat something...anything. So, I went to bed. It was the only solution I could think of that would keep me from me from messing up the day's victory. It worked. As far as I know I didn't get up in my sleep and raid the kitchen.

Tiara day!

Whoop, whoop!

I hit 'normal' again today! I am at a 24.something BMI and 132 lb., I think. I know I am 7.7 lb. away from my goal!

This round is working like it should, perhaps better with the addition of the B12MIC, the mesotheapy and the infrared sauna so unlike last time, this stop on 'normal' is on the way down and I don't fear I'll lose it. The grasp may bump up a little (though I hope not) but I have no doubt I can reach my goal in the next two weeks. I won't have to do a full 6-week round! If I do choose to do so, I may even reach the Wii's goal for me, if it's healthy for me to do so. I know my body won't let me go there if it's not.

What I noticed today...

This morning I was down 1.1? 1.6? Something like that. The longer I do this, the less important the increments are. As long as I'm feeling good (I am), and moving down (I am...even with the fits and starts) it is the final goal what is important to me now. That 'normal' line is getting closer again, and that is still my goal, so as long as keep rockin' toward that, I'm fine. Sure, I'd love to get comfortably into that zone in the next week or two, but if it takes me double that, like I said, if I feel good and can make progress, I'm all about it.

So, what I noticed today was how much I look like my mother. I don't know if it's what I'm wearing, or the weight I'm at, or what my hair is doing today, but I've had several moments where I passed a mirror and was struck by how much we look a like. There are no additional insights :-) just that it is a fact.

Turn around! You're going the wrong way!

You have to say that with an Aussie accent. It used to crack my husband up when my Tom Tom would tell us to correct ourselves with statement when we made a wrong turn.

So anyway, up .2 lb. today and that is certainly the wrong way.

Sore, sore, sore, sore, sore today. I slept like a rock last night I was so tired, but my body is hurting a good bit.

Yesterday, I was rushing around so much I never did get around to eating my veggie, which meant I was hungry mid-afternoon. I had set out nuts and fruit for my pregnant ladies, and decided that knowing how my body reacts to the smallest amounts of sugar, a few nuts would be my best corrective action (as opposed to adding a fruit in place of the lost veggie). Then later, because I also didn't get a chance to go shopping and had fed my organic apples to the guests, I had a pear with my dinner. I figured it was close to an apple and I had it in the fridge. It must have been there awhile because I'm the only one who likes pears in this house.

Anyway, it would seem I was wrong on both counts and paid with a .2 gain...after a zero day. Wrong way!

But, I'm not starving, so I've not hit immunity. My only course of action is to keep on keepin' on. 3 or 4 zeros and I'd have to worry, but knowing how weird this week has been (and the next week or two may be, with the carpet people coming, new classes starting, people helping with basement finishing and my SIL here. I'm excited about all of it! It just drives me a little batty to have my house is such disarray. AND I never got a chance to clean my carpet, which now may not happen until all of the work is done and stuff is re-organized. So shoot, it could be a month of relative chaos and frequent heavy lifting and or/stairs, all on 500 calories. I hope the rest of the round doesn't mirror this weekend!

Oh! Today is my first 'skip day'. I thought about it last Sunday (just because I can be such a space case, I wanted my skip day to be on Sunday so I'd be more likely to remember it) but I hadn't been taking hCG for quite a week. So, eating my 500 calories of the same selections, but no shot today.

Every. Muscle. Hurts.

Here is the reason to avoid strenuous exercise during protocol: it appears to be a zero day.

Yesterday, I had to get some plastering and painting done because the carpet will be here next week and I'll have no other opportunity. So, I worked in the basement all day (and it was GORGEOUS out, but that resentment is another story) getting this stuff done. I ate strictly protocol, even though I really wanted to congratulate myself on a job well done by kicking my feet up with some chocolate and a glass of wine. And today is a zero day.

Now, form experience, I know that because my body is SO sore, I am retaining water, to mend the muscles I used that I didn't know I had. That LOOKS like a no release day (or sometimes a gain day...so I'm good with a zero) but in reality, when the water is gone, there will be a big drop. At least there better be!

Otherwise, it looks as if there may be a new pattern here...a couple of days of decent drops, and then a zero day. We'll just have to see if it continues.

Today, I'll be teaching for 6-7 hours, so really sitting for the most part. I have a small patch of painting to do, and if I can find the stain, a little on the stairs. Then we will be hauling stuff out of the basement and trying to find a place to put it for a few days, and THEN we'll be ready for carpet.

It really stresses me out to have my house in such disarray. Plus, my dau figures she's going to be moving out soon, so we have some furniture that we are essentially just storing until she goes, thus we are moving stuff that is just going to be moved again in a few weeks. I will feel so much better when it's done, my carpet has been cleaned (not the new, the old) and everything is in its place!