Day 22

Ok, no more steak for dinner, even at 100g!

It was another -.2 day, and that was with no melba. I'm STILL not under that line on the Wii that will deem me 'normal'. Those 120s are still as elusive as ever.

It wasn't a bad day as far as hunger or anything. It's just that moving in on a month here, with not quite 15 lb. down (and 5 of those 'loading' weight) I'm getting quite discouraged.

And I timed this so carefully so that my period would not interfere. I started a couple of weeks earlier than I probably should have because I had just finished a period, and if I waited until after the next one, I would have been on protocol at times I didn't really want to be. So it was start 2-3 weeks early, or 2-3 weeks late...and I chose early. And one reason was so I wouldn't have a period to mess up my progress for the first month of the protocol. Then I get a 'bonus' one just two weeks later. Yay me!

Yes, I am exceedingly discouraged. This may very well be where my body wants to be, but it is NOT where I want to be. Yes, I can get used to it. I'm just pissed right now. Tomorrow has got to be better. I do have the cramps now instead of the PMS stuff, and I did drink some Smooth Move tea and plan to have one more (which, after two days of steak will hopeful be helpful at some point today).

And not that it has to do with much, but today is a 'skip day'. No hCG for me, but everything else is the same as it has been for the last 3 weeks.

Tomorrow has GOT to be better.

Later-

I didn't have to wait for tomorrow. Today got better!

I was feeling tired, discouraged, cold and a little hungry. I decided to take a hot bath and feel sorry for myself, but honestly I suddenly felt smaller. I know...bizarre. But I almost felt like a deflated balloon. So, I tried on some clothes.

The results were bittersweet. I tried on yet another dress that I'd saved for 20 years, just waiting for the occasion to wear it again and have it fit. It was so big, there is no way I can even alter it. Two other dresses were the same, and one outfit. One pair of pants that still had tags on them...too big.

However, I did fit INTO several things that had been too small, and they are size 6! Still not at the size 5, but that's ok. I have some alterations to make now because my pants are too long.

I'm now encouraged. It's a good thing that this stuff happens because when the scale is depressing, the clothes are reassuring, and visa versa.