Day 19

Down .4 of a lb. today. I sort of expected more this time actually. It just goes to show that having NO expectations is probably the best attitude to have.

The reason I thought it would be more is that while I still have the breast tenderness/PMS type feeling, I also feel smaller, which is hard to explain. I should have taken my measurements. I will this weekend and compare to the last time I took them. My clothes are bigger, though I've not found any big enough that I have to put them in the Goodwill box since the last batch I spoke of here. I'm seeing more definition on my body, though those stubborn muscles are still hiding.

My last appointment ended up getting rescheduled, so I came home, ate, and took a hot bath to warm up. I got the balance perfect this time. I didn't get too warm so that I was dizzy after the bath. I kept the room cool, I took a bottle of cool water in with me and replenished as I started to sweat, and got out before I was uncomfortably hot. I also didn't get in when it was super hot (like hot tub hot)...just sort of hot (like maybe 101).

I took the heating pad to bed again, but didn't need it, I turned it off because I continued to sweat. In fact, I did all night. Which was weird.

I was just telling someone recently that during this round I have been colder (though my temp is fine) and have experienced more blood sugar issues where I need to add a few macs than any other round. I don't know if that is because I am getting so close to where my body wants to be, or if there is some perimenopausal thing going on. I say that because of the sweating last night.

Some people will assume that anything that happens while they are doing this program, or immediately following, is because of the hCG. In the amounts used, that is highly unlikely. Most often, people end up encountering the flu at just the wrong time, or because of the low fat, low calorie nature of the food intake, if they are boarder-line with some health issue that is impacted by fats and/or sugars, that issue will make itself known.

I've had night sweats before. I've never had them in the winter when I'm trying to keep the bed warm all by myself, and I've not (until now) had them on protocol. I've never paid attention to my blood sugar or how food made me feel until this program. Last time I was this small, I would bet I was still eating crap (when I was eating at all), partying heavily and working in a toxic environment. Besides the physical toxins that might have been stored in fat, there is the emotional toxic waste that is stored. Some people very consciously work through stuff like that. Some of us have physical manifestations of detoxification as we release stuff. As long as it is transient and not scary, I'm ok with just letting it pass. If I felt it were serious, or if it didn't resolve in a few days, I'd see someone. If I can handle it on my own though a few protocol modifications and journaling, I do that.

I have to say that I'm very excited about being so close to that 'normal' line on the Wii! One good drop of 1 or 2 lbs. will put me under it. It could take all next week if I keep having these zeros or .4 days, but that will be my next-to-the-last milestone, and knowing my body is in charge and not my head, it may be the last one I reach. I hope for 10-15 after that, but won't be crushed if I don't get there. I do want to be comfortably below that line so I can stay there forever. That is very much in sight now.
Later-

I was too busy to worry much about food today. There was no need to fall back on macs. Makes me wonder about my interpretation of the hunger. Do I just think I'm hungry when I'm home? Do I have an association with food and home? Do I have too much time on my hands (yeah, right) and mistake boredom for hunger? I'll have to journal.

Anyway, chicken, cukes, apple, melba for lunch. Dinner, apple, chicken, lettuce, melba. I thought about having some coffee now (it's just after 7 pm), but the bath and bed thing felt so good last night...except for having to get up and pee twice...I thought I'd do it again.

I tried on some 'small' shirts today, and they fit! They didn't look quite right with what I plan to wear to work tomorrow, but I did find one I liked. It's so weird to be able to put them on. Last time I tried I couldn't even get an arm in, and this time they fit! I didn't try pants. I'll do that this weekend.