My six weeks of stabilization and maintenance are up, it's silly to keep counting days.
I went up over my limit again and did a steak day yesterday. The day that put me over was a day when we went grocery shopping and were able to find a bunch of organic food. I didn't eat much of anything, but I ate a little of a lot of stuff. I made quiche that night (two different kinds) and a flour-less chocolate cake that did have sugar in it because I used semi-sweet chips. I had one piece, but it was a Dave-sized piece which is twice the size of the ones I cut. In fact, when I put the thing in the freezer, I cut all the slices in half and wrapped them.
The steak day sucked. I'm not doing it again. I'll work on just bringing the weight off slowly, or I'll take a higher set point. I'm sick of them. This one was hard too...the steak wasn't done right, but I was too hungry so I ate 2/3 of it before it just made me sick to try to chew raw meat. I ate asparagus instead of an apple, and ate it until it just didn't even taste good...to make up for the nasty steak I didn't eat. All that and I only came down 1.7 lb. Although, I was in such a pissy mood by bed time, I caved and had two pieces of choco-delight and 6 oz. of wine. I just didn't care if it worked or not. I was just mad I had to do it and it ruined my day.
I was hungrier than usual even though I did nothing. I mean NOTHING. The only thing I did work related was some concept development for some packaging on an idea of mine, and the only work/school related thing was some reading. I did no writing, I did no exercise, I did no blogging or research. I played a little Wii, we observed an hour of lights out on Saturday, I vegged on the computer, I did a little laundry. Really, nothing. Now I do have to play a little catch up.
The steak day brought me down to 133.8, which is 1 lb. away from that top limit.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Day 41 stabilization
Today I was up 1.1 lb., just like .2 away from a steak day. I decided just to let it go there if it must.
I have no idea how I have accumulated over 1600 calories thus far, considering I haven't even had my dinner (steak and asparagus) or the copious amounts of wine I plant to enjoy tonight. My day looked like this:
1 cup Irish oats, 1/2 cup strawberries-breakfast (cream in my coffee)
2 oz. cheese mid-morning snack
12 almonds and a Jay Robb shake-lunch
Atkins bar-late afternoon snack
I'm waiting for dinner and I was just craving tuna fish, which I just happened to have made, so I had 1/4-1/2 cup of that for no particular reason.
They aren't bad choices, nor consumed in inordinately large amounts. But I was already at over 1400 before the tuna and Atkins bar. Considering I was up so much today on less food than that yesterday, we'll see what that means for tomorrow.
I do intend to challenge Dave to some serious Wii. We'll see if that actually happens.
I have no idea how I have accumulated over 1600 calories thus far, considering I haven't even had my dinner (steak and asparagus) or the copious amounts of wine I plant to enjoy tonight. My day looked like this:
1 cup Irish oats, 1/2 cup strawberries-breakfast (cream in my coffee)
2 oz. cheese mid-morning snack
12 almonds and a Jay Robb shake-lunch
Atkins bar-late afternoon snack
I'm waiting for dinner and I was just craving tuna fish, which I just happened to have made, so I had 1/4-1/2 cup of that for no particular reason.
They aren't bad choices, nor consumed in inordinately large amounts. But I was already at over 1400 before the tuna and Atkins bar. Considering I was up so much today on less food than that yesterday, we'll see what that means for tomorrow.
I do intend to challenge Dave to some serious Wii. We'll see if that actually happens.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Day 40 stabilization
Today is another long day, but there's not so much crammed into it, and what is happens at my house, and I love to be home!
Let's see...yesterday was almost the same as far as food goes, and it seems to be working so we're going to stick with it. I had a banana for breakfast, a Jay Robb shake and some trail mix at lunch, an Atkins snack bar later, and 2 oz. of Swiss with 100g piece of chicken...all of this while on the move, unfortunately. Nothing after 5 pm but a piece of dark chocolate and a glass of wine.
I looks to be that if I can keep it below 1200 to 1400 calories I can maintain or lose. The carbs (as in fruit) are not hindering the process at all.
I was afraid to try the banana...but my dau's BF bought them and they were rotting on the counter because no one was eating them, so I took a chance. Since I'm only willing to have about 1 fruit per day right now, I didn't save the strawberries. They died a slow, painful death in the fridge. RIP.
I'm hoping the tomatoes and cukes don't suffer the same end, but I have to be home long enough to spend some time chopping and mixing and cleaning up my mess to be able to rescue them. I hope to do that today. I also have some tuna I'd love to make. I also have a new Wii game I'd like to try that a friend of mine says is a blast, and some new strength exercises I'm geeked to try. Time. All I need is time.
Let's see...yesterday was almost the same as far as food goes, and it seems to be working so we're going to stick with it. I had a banana for breakfast, a Jay Robb shake and some trail mix at lunch, an Atkins snack bar later, and 2 oz. of Swiss with 100g piece of chicken...all of this while on the move, unfortunately. Nothing after 5 pm but a piece of dark chocolate and a glass of wine.
I looks to be that if I can keep it below 1200 to 1400 calories I can maintain or lose. The carbs (as in fruit) are not hindering the process at all.
I was afraid to try the banana...but my dau's BF bought them and they were rotting on the counter because no one was eating them, so I took a chance. Since I'm only willing to have about 1 fruit per day right now, I didn't save the strawberries. They died a slow, painful death in the fridge. RIP.
I'm hoping the tomatoes and cukes don't suffer the same end, but I have to be home long enough to spend some time chopping and mixing and cleaning up my mess to be able to rescue them. I hope to do that today. I also have some tuna I'd love to make. I also have a new Wii game I'd like to try that a friend of mine says is a blast, and some new strength exercises I'm geeked to try. Time. All I need is time.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Day 39 stabilization
Down .7 today. I'll take it.
Today is not quit as hectic, but I did dream I forgot all about history class and hadn't done my paper and was rushing to get there and come up with an excuse for not having it done.
I did catch up a little on sleep. I really enjoy it when the sun wakes up before me!
Yesterday, I had a fiber boosted Jay Robb shake for breakfast (with whole milk) and a banana. I'm trying to see if adding more fiber and carbs is the way to go this time around.
For lunch, I had macs and an apple. For dinner, I had 2 oz. Swiss cheese, 100g chicken and 3 slices of bacon.
I came home from class pretty hungry, but I didn't eat. I did snitch a choco-delight and a glass of wine and then hit the bed pretty hard.
Today Kohl's is having a sale, and I'm going to get underwear. I've shrunk out of my bras. It appears I'm not down to an A cup. At this rate, by the time my skin is done shrinking to my new body, I'll be concave. I'm ok with that.
I also will be looking for some sort of 'shapewear'. As summer approaches, I'm wearing more shirts then sweaters or blouses and while things are shrinking up quite nicely, and there isn't any hanging skin or anything (sorry, but so many people ask that I figure inquiring minds want to know) some stuff is still 'loose'; 'squishy' as one client proclaimed after a loss of 50 lb. or so. The good thing is that it makes my body quite malleable...like Play Doh :-) so shapeware really lives up to it's name. I will also pick up a couple of pairs of spring shoes just because I have a thing for shoes and it's a sale.
Also, I've added Mesotherapy to the repertoire. Yesterday, I had my legs shot up with about 100 shots of whatever they shoot into you. It was like being stung by very methodical bees 50 times in each thigh, but I just stayed relaxed and breathed through it. The doc says it takes 3-6 treatments a week apart to see results. The PA said in her experience, more like 10-12. We'll see what happens with that.
Today is not quit as hectic, but I did dream I forgot all about history class and hadn't done my paper and was rushing to get there and come up with an excuse for not having it done.
I did catch up a little on sleep. I really enjoy it when the sun wakes up before me!
Yesterday, I had a fiber boosted Jay Robb shake for breakfast (with whole milk) and a banana. I'm trying to see if adding more fiber and carbs is the way to go this time around.
For lunch, I had macs and an apple. For dinner, I had 2 oz. Swiss cheese, 100g chicken and 3 slices of bacon.
I came home from class pretty hungry, but I didn't eat. I did snitch a choco-delight and a glass of wine and then hit the bed pretty hard.
Today Kohl's is having a sale, and I'm going to get underwear. I've shrunk out of my bras. It appears I'm not down to an A cup. At this rate, by the time my skin is done shrinking to my new body, I'll be concave. I'm ok with that.
I also will be looking for some sort of 'shapewear'. As summer approaches, I'm wearing more shirts then sweaters or blouses and while things are shrinking up quite nicely, and there isn't any hanging skin or anything (sorry, but so many people ask that I figure inquiring minds want to know) some stuff is still 'loose'; 'squishy' as one client proclaimed after a loss of 50 lb. or so. The good thing is that it makes my body quite malleable...like Play Doh :-) so shapeware really lives up to it's name. I will also pick up a couple of pairs of spring shoes just because I have a thing for shoes and it's a sale.
Also, I've added Mesotherapy to the repertoire. Yesterday, I had my legs shot up with about 100 shots of whatever they shoot into you. It was like being stung by very methodical bees 50 times in each thigh, but I just stayed relaxed and breathed through it. The doc says it takes 3-6 treatments a week apart to see results. The PA said in her experience, more like 10-12. We'll see what happens with that.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Stabilization day 38
I had a comment on yesterday's post, and I did approve it to go up, but when I came on to comment to that observation, it isn't here.
The person commenting said they were on stabilization too, in their first round of protocol, and that they too were having a steak day every 3 days or so. She observed it had to level out sometime, right?
Yes.
I will say the hundreds of testimonials on line helped me believe that the first time I did this. The fact that it worked...and worked the next two times too...helped cement that expectation last time and this time. That is part of what makes it frustrating that it is difficult this time.
But one of the most important things I've learned having done this is that as my body changes, I have to change my behaviors. I have just not figured out what works for me this time. I have to keep trying different calorie counts and different foods since what worked before isn't working now. I have to do it in such a way that I can live my life the way I want and not feel deprived, yet not gain weight.
I'm really at a place now where I might do one or two more steak or egg days, but I'm actually not sure if I will. I'm up .2 lb. today. I'm only like .4 lb. away from another adjustment. I may just let it go and see what happens.
Yes, it is comforting to know I could do another round, but I don't want to fall on that as my maintenance plan. I want my life to support my new shape. However, considering that the weirdness of the last round might be what's made this difficult, I'm willing to do it again to see if things work better next time.
I've only officially got a few more days of this stabilization/maintenance phase, and then we'll see. I may just live my life without being so obsessive about it for the next three weeks and then try again. I know I should actually wait until like July or August. If the next three weeks go well, maybe I will. But if I start growing out of stuff because eating Primal and moving more isn't working like it should, I know myself well enough to know I won't just keep growing all summer. I'll have to do it again.
The person commenting said they were on stabilization too, in their first round of protocol, and that they too were having a steak day every 3 days or so. She observed it had to level out sometime, right?
Yes.
I will say the hundreds of testimonials on line helped me believe that the first time I did this. The fact that it worked...and worked the next two times too...helped cement that expectation last time and this time. That is part of what makes it frustrating that it is difficult this time.
But one of the most important things I've learned having done this is that as my body changes, I have to change my behaviors. I have just not figured out what works for me this time. I have to keep trying different calorie counts and different foods since what worked before isn't working now. I have to do it in such a way that I can live my life the way I want and not feel deprived, yet not gain weight.
I'm really at a place now where I might do one or two more steak or egg days, but I'm actually not sure if I will. I'm up .2 lb. today. I'm only like .4 lb. away from another adjustment. I may just let it go and see what happens.
Yes, it is comforting to know I could do another round, but I don't want to fall on that as my maintenance plan. I want my life to support my new shape. However, considering that the weirdness of the last round might be what's made this difficult, I'm willing to do it again to see if things work better next time.
I've only officially got a few more days of this stabilization/maintenance phase, and then we'll see. I may just live my life without being so obsessive about it for the next three weeks and then try again. I know I should actually wait until like July or August. If the next three weeks go well, maybe I will. But if I start growing out of stuff because eating Primal and moving more isn't working like it should, I know myself well enough to know I won't just keep growing all summer. I'll have to do it again.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Day 37 stabilization
I skipped writing here yesterday. It would just have been depressing, though today I'm a grump too.
Yesterday bumped me up that 1/2 lb. that put me over my last hCG weight. ANOTHER freakin' steak day. Today I'm only down .7 lb. Dave is down 1.8 and didn't even DO a steak day!
During our walk (about 2 miles) I kvetched that I was starting to feel like for the rest of my life, I was going to have to have one fasting day/steak day (or modifications thereof) per week, minimum, just to stay where I need to be. That depresses me, because it's not like I'm eating whatever I want the rest of the week. If I were, it might be manageable.
And I wondered again why it has been so this time when it never has before. And I wonder if it's because the little amount I did release on that screwed up protocol round was largely lost during the first week when I was essentially losing it on a starvation diet w/o the hCG. If that beginning was so messed up that it messed up EVERYTHING. If so, I'm wondering how long before I can do the program again correctly) and if/when I do, will it work easily and the way it's supposed to? Will stabilization be easier if I can get down below a certain point?
I'm thinking if the weight comes back on so easily now, I'd probably gain back 10 lb. during loading and have to lose it all over again (along with the other 10 I want to get rid of) but if it works the way it's supposed to, that shouldn't even take a full 41 day round.
My SIL will be here for a visit in May and will be on protocol. I wonder if I can do it again that soon? It would make her visit easier (for her) if we are both on protocol and eating the same amounts of the same stuff. Technically, I should wait 4 or 5 months, but that's if I reached my goal and stabilized. What if I don't ever reach that plateau? I'd have to struggle like this for months! !@#$%^&*()_+! I'll go insane!
Later-
1 cup Irish oats for breakfast, an apple and 12 macs for lunch at around 1 pm, 2 pieces caraway farmers cheese around 3, and dinner at 5:15...100g chicken, 2 slices swiss, 5 asparagus spears and a sugar-free pudding.
Now, I don't feel I ate a tremendous amount at any point, although I am full now. Yet somehow I've accumulated almost 1800 calories! I know FitDay says I can have 1900, but I know that's crazy. I've probably had several hundred more than I should have, but I'm not sure how. I ate only when I was actually hungry, and only an amount I needed not to be. Even a long walk isn't going to mitigate that damage much.
I just can't do another steak or egg day. If I'm up tomorrow, I'm up. I'm staying there.
I need to go for a walk before I settle in to get some writing and studying in. I don't really want to go alone, but it looks like I might have to.
Yesterday bumped me up that 1/2 lb. that put me over my last hCG weight. ANOTHER freakin' steak day. Today I'm only down .7 lb. Dave is down 1.8 and didn't even DO a steak day!
During our walk (about 2 miles) I kvetched that I was starting to feel like for the rest of my life, I was going to have to have one fasting day/steak day (or modifications thereof) per week, minimum, just to stay where I need to be. That depresses me, because it's not like I'm eating whatever I want the rest of the week. If I were, it might be manageable.
And I wondered again why it has been so this time when it never has before. And I wonder if it's because the little amount I did release on that screwed up protocol round was largely lost during the first week when I was essentially losing it on a starvation diet w/o the hCG. If that beginning was so messed up that it messed up EVERYTHING. If so, I'm wondering how long before I can do the program again correctly) and if/when I do, will it work easily and the way it's supposed to? Will stabilization be easier if I can get down below a certain point?
I'm thinking if the weight comes back on so easily now, I'd probably gain back 10 lb. during loading and have to lose it all over again (along with the other 10 I want to get rid of) but if it works the way it's supposed to, that shouldn't even take a full 41 day round.
My SIL will be here for a visit in May and will be on protocol. I wonder if I can do it again that soon? It would make her visit easier (for her) if we are both on protocol and eating the same amounts of the same stuff. Technically, I should wait 4 or 5 months, but that's if I reached my goal and stabilized. What if I don't ever reach that plateau? I'd have to struggle like this for months! !@#$%^&*()_+! I'll go insane!
Later-
1 cup Irish oats for breakfast, an apple and 12 macs for lunch at around 1 pm, 2 pieces caraway farmers cheese around 3, and dinner at 5:15...100g chicken, 2 slices swiss, 5 asparagus spears and a sugar-free pudding.
Now, I don't feel I ate a tremendous amount at any point, although I am full now. Yet somehow I've accumulated almost 1800 calories! I know FitDay says I can have 1900, but I know that's crazy. I've probably had several hundred more than I should have, but I'm not sure how. I ate only when I was actually hungry, and only an amount I needed not to be. Even a long walk isn't going to mitigate that damage much.
I just can't do another steak or egg day. If I'm up tomorrow, I'm up. I'm staying there.
I need to go for a walk before I settle in to get some writing and studying in. I don't really want to go alone, but it looks like I might have to.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Day 35 stabilization
FINALLY I'm seeing numbers that look like they should.It should be tenths of a lb. up and down with zeros in between. That's 'normal' stabilization. Today was another zero day.
Of course, I wish these would have started at my last hCG weight or a couple of lb. below, and not at 1.5 lb. above. I'd like more than a half pound buffer to keep me away from steak days.
It might have been the fiber that helped, it might have been the sleep. Could be neither. Who knows? I'm still trying to figure it out.
I would love nothing more than to be able to make this a 'me' day. I need it after last week. That isn't going to happen though. I have product development, a proposal to work on, two papers to work on, one of which requires reading with the other requiring research and reading. I AM going to make sure I get yoga in, and I'd like to get Wii in later. It's sucky outside (28 degrees and we got an inch or two of snow last night) so I won't be tempted to go out there. It's just cruel considering the nice, warm (61!) sunny days we've had. Blech! I am so over snow and cold about now, I have to confess.
However, I am treating my self to a leisurely coffee and I'm rushing nowhere. If I don't get to everything today, I won't worry about it because I have tomorrow. I am putting myself first in that I'll do the yoga before any of the brain work.
Keep up the good work, hCGers!
Later-
I just had brunch...2 oz. of cheese and 3 slices of bacon. How predictable is that? I thought about oatmeal, but we'll see how today goes and perhaps try it tomorrow. I love Irish Oats! Or, maybe I'll have them for a late lunch?
Anyway, someone had posted a question about bathing suits when I excitedly shared that I now had some and they were cute, and since I haven't figured out the reason why I can't just respond to questions (I'll do that next today) I'm answering here:
No.
The reason is not that they aren't cute or that I don't look hot...you'll just have to take my husband's word for it because while the body is now rockin', it has not seen significant sun in like 20 years. I did have one unfortunate stint with tanning beds in my attempt to remedy the translucent quality that has become 'normal' for me so that I might not blind those who live above ground, but for the most part, this particular color is often said to be 'fish-belly white'. It's not attractive.
Therefor, there will be no bathing suit pictures unless and until my skin acquires some color.
Later still-
I had a handful of macs a couple of hours after the brunch. No oatmeal. I did 40 min. of yoga, 40 min. of Wii and 40 min. of step aerobics. Then I had an Atkins bar.
For dinner I had 4 pieces of bacon, a 115g. burger (no bun) with blue cheese and a pile of broccoli (at least 1-1.5 cups). I was stuffed to the gills, shame on me, so we went for a walk (about 1 mile) and next we are going to compete on some more Wii games before catching some SNL.
I did do some research, but none of the reading and didn't get around to writing either. I wanted to do Wild Divine too, but there just isn't enough time in the day it seems to get everything in, so I must prioritize. For tonight though, no more work...just play!
Of course, I wish these would have started at my last hCG weight or a couple of lb. below, and not at 1.5 lb. above. I'd like more than a half pound buffer to keep me away from steak days.
It might have been the fiber that helped, it might have been the sleep. Could be neither. Who knows? I'm still trying to figure it out.
I would love nothing more than to be able to make this a 'me' day. I need it after last week. That isn't going to happen though. I have product development, a proposal to work on, two papers to work on, one of which requires reading with the other requiring research and reading. I AM going to make sure I get yoga in, and I'd like to get Wii in later. It's sucky outside (28 degrees and we got an inch or two of snow last night) so I won't be tempted to go out there. It's just cruel considering the nice, warm (61!) sunny days we've had. Blech! I am so over snow and cold about now, I have to confess.
However, I am treating my self to a leisurely coffee and I'm rushing nowhere. If I don't get to everything today, I won't worry about it because I have tomorrow. I am putting myself first in that I'll do the yoga before any of the brain work.
Keep up the good work, hCGers!
Later-
I just had brunch...2 oz. of cheese and 3 slices of bacon. How predictable is that? I thought about oatmeal, but we'll see how today goes and perhaps try it tomorrow. I love Irish Oats! Or, maybe I'll have them for a late lunch?
Anyway, someone had posted a question about bathing suits when I excitedly shared that I now had some and they were cute, and since I haven't figured out the reason why I can't just respond to questions (I'll do that next today) I'm answering here:
No.
The reason is not that they aren't cute or that I don't look hot...you'll just have to take my husband's word for it because while the body is now rockin', it has not seen significant sun in like 20 years. I did have one unfortunate stint with tanning beds in my attempt to remedy the translucent quality that has become 'normal' for me so that I might not blind those who live above ground, but for the most part, this particular color is often said to be 'fish-belly white'. It's not attractive.
Therefor, there will be no bathing suit pictures unless and until my skin acquires some color.
Later still-
I had a handful of macs a couple of hours after the brunch. No oatmeal. I did 40 min. of yoga, 40 min. of Wii and 40 min. of step aerobics. Then I had an Atkins bar.
For dinner I had 4 pieces of bacon, a 115g. burger (no bun) with blue cheese and a pile of broccoli (at least 1-1.5 cups). I was stuffed to the gills, shame on me, so we went for a walk (about 1 mile) and next we are going to compete on some more Wii games before catching some SNL.
I did do some research, but none of the reading and didn't get around to writing either. I wanted to do Wild Divine too, but there just isn't enough time in the day it seems to get everything in, so I must prioritize. For tonight though, no more work...just play!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Day 34 stabilization
I missed yesterday. It was a blur and I'm not sure I recall much of it. Too little sleep, too much to do. It was a 'zero' day. I'm not sure, but I think my first...I wish I'd just stay there!
Today was up .7 lb. I'm about 1/2 lb. away from a steak day, though I'm certain my exhaustion plays into this, so we'll see how tomorrow goes. I also decided maybe fiber is an issue, so I added Benefiber to my coffee and protein drink today.
In take today has been a handful of macs, an apple, and a protein shake. I have no clue what dinner will be. I don't even know how I'm going to stay awake long enough to eat it unless I get a second wind or a nap. Nap is not likely since I'm only home between appointments right now, and I see 8 more clients between now and 5 pm.
Yesterday, working backwards, I know I had a glass of wine after class, trail mix w/nuts, seeds and dried stuff...goji berries, cherries, raisins, apples before class. I had a piece of chicken and an apple and a sugar-free pudding for an early dinner. For lunch, I think it was macs and an apple and a sugar-free pudding. I don't think I had breakfast, but if did, it was likely cheese and bacon.
This is an encapsulation, because I've been eating on the run and none of this was consumed in actual 'meals'...it was here and there. It's been hard to get water in too, because I haven't had enough breaks to pee!
I need sleep. Being tired seems to make me hungrier.
I just have to get through the afternoon. Hopefully being busy will make it go quickly.
Later-
I broke the cardinal rule of letting myself get so hungry that I ate something I shouldn't have: I had trail mix (1/2 cup or less) as soon as I walked in the door because I was famished!
About an hour later I had two pieces of cheese, 100g chicken and 1 piece of bacon. It would have been good all together, but I ate each separate, one after the other while I was trying to figure out what to have for dinner before realizing that WAS dinner.
Now I feel like I ate too much, but all total, it wasn't. I still feel like a cheater for the trail mix, though.
We'll see if tomorrow is going to be ANOTHER steak day. We already know we are having steak. The question is will that be ALL I can have? I'm hoping the fiber from today does it's job and the answer will be no. Crossing my fingers.
Today was up .7 lb. I'm about 1/2 lb. away from a steak day, though I'm certain my exhaustion plays into this, so we'll see how tomorrow goes. I also decided maybe fiber is an issue, so I added Benefiber to my coffee and protein drink today.
In take today has been a handful of macs, an apple, and a protein shake. I have no clue what dinner will be. I don't even know how I'm going to stay awake long enough to eat it unless I get a second wind or a nap. Nap is not likely since I'm only home between appointments right now, and I see 8 more clients between now and 5 pm.
Yesterday, working backwards, I know I had a glass of wine after class, trail mix w/nuts, seeds and dried stuff...goji berries, cherries, raisins, apples before class. I had a piece of chicken and an apple and a sugar-free pudding for an early dinner. For lunch, I think it was macs and an apple and a sugar-free pudding. I don't think I had breakfast, but if did, it was likely cheese and bacon.
This is an encapsulation, because I've been eating on the run and none of this was consumed in actual 'meals'...it was here and there. It's been hard to get water in too, because I haven't had enough breaks to pee!
I need sleep. Being tired seems to make me hungrier.
I just have to get through the afternoon. Hopefully being busy will make it go quickly.
Later-
I broke the cardinal rule of letting myself get so hungry that I ate something I shouldn't have: I had trail mix (1/2 cup or less) as soon as I walked in the door because I was famished!
About an hour later I had two pieces of cheese, 100g chicken and 1 piece of bacon. It would have been good all together, but I ate each separate, one after the other while I was trying to figure out what to have for dinner before realizing that WAS dinner.
Now I feel like I ate too much, but all total, it wasn't. I still feel like a cheater for the trail mix, though.
We'll see if tomorrow is going to be ANOTHER steak day. We already know we are having steak. The question is will that be ALL I can have? I'm hoping the fiber from today does it's job and the answer will be no. Crossing my fingers.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Day 32 stabilization
17 hour days are just far too long! I've been going like the Energizer bunny since I popped out of bed at 5:30 am.
The short version: Down .2 lb. this a.m. (yippie...yes that's dripping with sarcasm) but at least it's not up. Didn't eat until about 1 p.m. and I was HUNGRY by then. I got held up with clients longer than I thought I would be so I didn't eat beforehand and I didn't take food. I broke my number one rule of not being prepared.
Came home and had bacon and a piece of cheese.
Later I had an Atkins bar and a handful of macs.
For dinner I had two pieces of cauliflower crust pizza.
Currently I'm having a glass of wine before I collapse.
Tomorrow will be about the same. I hope to get a nap. I didn't quite pull that off today, but I did try, and then decided on 40 min. of yoga. I MUST get a walk in tomorrow as it's going to snow this weekend, but it will be nearly 70 tomorrow. I do realize that it will likely be hotter than hell soon enough and I'll be begging for a/c, but currently I'm craving sunshine and warmth on my skin. And sleep.
The short version: Down .2 lb. this a.m. (yippie...yes that's dripping with sarcasm) but at least it's not up. Didn't eat until about 1 p.m. and I was HUNGRY by then. I got held up with clients longer than I thought I would be so I didn't eat beforehand and I didn't take food. I broke my number one rule of not being prepared.
Came home and had bacon and a piece of cheese.
Later I had an Atkins bar and a handful of macs.
For dinner I had two pieces of cauliflower crust pizza.
Currently I'm having a glass of wine before I collapse.
Tomorrow will be about the same. I hope to get a nap. I didn't quite pull that off today, but I did try, and then decided on 40 min. of yoga. I MUST get a walk in tomorrow as it's going to snow this weekend, but it will be nearly 70 tomorrow. I do realize that it will likely be hotter than hell soon enough and I'll be begging for a/c, but currently I'm craving sunshine and warmth on my skin. And sleep.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day 31 stabilization
Egg day was...an egg day. Nothing special. I went to work, I ate 5 eggs. I couldn't gag down the sixth. Today I'm down 2 lb. It's something. It's not the 2.4 I gained the day before. It's not the 3.5 I gained cumulatively over the several days prior. But it is something.
For the next two days at least, it wouldn't matter if I were close to the last hCG weight. I can't do anything about it, at least until Friday. Nor would I. I'm just going to not worry about it.
I've had a couple of people comment on how 'brave' I am to do this program...considering it's not FDA approved and all...so I'd like to comment on that today. I also have a couple of book reviews to post, but that will have to take a backseat to my research paper (which I will also post) and reflection paper due tomorrow.
Anyway, about being 'brave' for using a 'drug' that isn't approved by the FDA.
hCG is not a drug. It is a glycoproteic hormone like (thyroid stimulating hormone or TSH). It is not approved for weight loss, but not because it's dangerous. We take 125-175 IU per day for a limit of 40 days at a time. It is out of the body in 3 days. In pregnancy when the body creates it, it is made in amounts between 500,000 and 1,000,000 IU per day...each and every pregnancy. That means any woman who has been pregnant a couple of times has had more hCG in her system than will EVER be in anyone using hCG for weight loss. Are those women brave?
In fertility treatments (FDA approved) it is used in dosages of 1,000-4,000 IU at a time for men, and 5,000-10,000 IU at a time for women.
It is not FDA approved because the FDA says it doesn’t work. Thousands of people have proven that they are wrong. The study they used to determine this was flawed because the parameters were changed...just like if people change the Dr. Simeons' rules in clinics now. If you change it, it won't work. Besides, the FDA are the wise people who gave us Vioxx and a multitude of other what turned out to be killing/maiming agents. For instance, Cytotec isn't approved by the FDA for use in labor induction either (it's an ulcer drug used off label) and it's proven to be dangerous, yet it is used all the time. In fact, lots of drugs are. I repeat, however, that hCG is not a drug. Given the track record of the FDA though, I'll take common sense and science vs. a corrupt and morally bankrupt government agency.
In addition, hCG is approved for lots of stuff and being looked at for other stuff, like reducing the risk of breast cancer.
I don't consider myself 'brave'. I consider myself lucky to have found something that works after 20 years of thinking I was just a failure.
For the next two days at least, it wouldn't matter if I were close to the last hCG weight. I can't do anything about it, at least until Friday. Nor would I. I'm just going to not worry about it.
I've had a couple of people comment on how 'brave' I am to do this program...considering it's not FDA approved and all...so I'd like to comment on that today. I also have a couple of book reviews to post, but that will have to take a backseat to my research paper (which I will also post) and reflection paper due tomorrow.
Anyway, about being 'brave' for using a 'drug' that isn't approved by the FDA.
hCG is not a drug. It is a glycoproteic hormone like (thyroid stimulating hormone or TSH). It is not approved for weight loss, but not because it's dangerous. We take 125-175 IU per day for a limit of 40 days at a time. It is out of the body in 3 days. In pregnancy when the body creates it, it is made in amounts between 500,000 and 1,000,000 IU per day...each and every pregnancy. That means any woman who has been pregnant a couple of times has had more hCG in her system than will EVER be in anyone using hCG for weight loss. Are those women brave?
In fertility treatments (FDA approved) it is used in dosages of 1,000-4,000 IU at a time for men, and 5,000-10,000 IU at a time for women.
It is not FDA approved because the FDA says it doesn’t work. Thousands of people have proven that they are wrong. The study they used to determine this was flawed because the parameters were changed...just like if people change the Dr. Simeons' rules in clinics now. If you change it, it won't work. Besides, the FDA are the wise people who gave us Vioxx and a multitude of other what turned out to be killing/maiming agents. For instance, Cytotec isn't approved by the FDA for use in labor induction either (it's an ulcer drug used off label) and it's proven to be dangerous, yet it is used all the time. In fact, lots of drugs are. I repeat, however, that hCG is not a drug. Given the track record of the FDA though, I'll take common sense and science vs. a corrupt and morally bankrupt government agency.
In addition, hCG is approved for lots of stuff and being looked at for other stuff, like reducing the risk of breast cancer.
I don't consider myself 'brave'. I consider myself lucky to have found something that works after 20 years of thinking I was just a failure.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Day 30 stabilization
When I sat down to document all I ate yesterday, I realized that it was almost like a binge for me, even though if you took everything I ate all day long, it would fill a paper lunch bag about 1/2 way (the 4" x 6" by 12" ones). I know people who eat more than that in one meal and stay thin!
But no...my scale shows a TWO POINT FOUR POUND GAIN today. Yes, that would be 2.4 lb. gained. It had to be from the mac and cheese combo, or the Splenda in the sweet things. They had traces of starch, but not real sugar. So...yeah. Another freakin' egg day. Guess it's a good thing I made those yesterday.
My tummy has been raising holy hell since last night, so I actually sort of expected the opposite this morning. I thought my body would reject all I ate and initiate a huge cleanse of sorts. It still sounds like there is an alien in there with all the roaring, gurgling and pinging not to mention the feeling of a 7 month fetus in there moving around.
Oh, and as far as activity yesterday, other than helping Dave with the gazebo for a few minutes and hauling some plants (and then cleaning the house up after dropping fern bits all over) I didn't do much. My foot hurt. I'm not sure how I injured it, but my arch was sore and it hurt to use the arch support, and it hurt not to use it. So I read for the rest of the evening and did no Wii or yoga, and no walking. Dave invited me to go with him while he played disk, but I declined and the saga of the Boleyn family.
But no...my scale shows a TWO POINT FOUR POUND GAIN today. Yes, that would be 2.4 lb. gained. It had to be from the mac and cheese combo, or the Splenda in the sweet things. They had traces of starch, but not real sugar. So...yeah. Another freakin' egg day. Guess it's a good thing I made those yesterday.
My tummy has been raising holy hell since last night, so I actually sort of expected the opposite this morning. I thought my body would reject all I ate and initiate a huge cleanse of sorts. It still sounds like there is an alien in there with all the roaring, gurgling and pinging not to mention the feeling of a 7 month fetus in there moving around.
Oh, and as far as activity yesterday, other than helping Dave with the gazebo for a few minutes and hauling some plants (and then cleaning the house up after dropping fern bits all over) I didn't do much. My foot hurt. I'm not sure how I injured it, but my arch was sore and it hurt to use the arch support, and it hurt not to use it. So I read for the rest of the evening and did no Wii or yoga, and no walking. Dave invited me to go with him while he played disk, but I declined and the saga of the Boleyn family.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Day 29 stabilization
Dave and I did get our cleaning done, and did do step aerobics for about 45 minutes; worked up a good sweat.
We had a very good time with our company. I don't recall eating anything from the time I posted here last (I might have had a Atkins fiber bar?) until right before dinner. As I was cooking I was getting hungry and I ate the last of the dried pineapple. Not the best choice, but it looked yummy to me. It was.
I nibbled pistachios that I had out for the company at various times throughout the night, but I didn't keep track so I have no clue precisely how many I had.
For dinner I had steak and asparagus. I skipped the salad as I was full after eating the hot stuff. I didn't really want desert either, but that's what the guests brought so I had a about a small 2-inch square piece to be polite.
Over the course of the evening, the wine flowed freely.
Late last night, I had about 1/2 cup of the homemade mac and cheese I'd made for the kids. I knew at the time it was too late to be eating anything, much less mac and cheese, though it was made from Dreamfield noodles which are low carb.
Anyway, I gained back my 1.1 lb. lost from Friday. I wouldn't have been up over the mark even with all that, but I may be after today, so I'm glad I took preemptive measures.
Today I had my usual morning stuff, but then we worked outside in the yard all day, so eating was mostly coming in to grab stuff...and it adds up. Plus, I made sucky choices, so I'm glad I made a batch of eggs in case I need an egg day.
When I'd bop in the house I'd grab easy stuff like sugar-free puddings (two total) or Akins bars (two total) or the pistachios that are still out from last night (again, no idea how many). Then, for no reason I can explain other than I wanted it, I had a pile of the last of the mac and cheese--I'd guess at least a cup and a half. I will eat no more tonight, but I'm now tired because of it.
We had a very good time with our company. I don't recall eating anything from the time I posted here last (I might have had a Atkins fiber bar?) until right before dinner. As I was cooking I was getting hungry and I ate the last of the dried pineapple. Not the best choice, but it looked yummy to me. It was.
I nibbled pistachios that I had out for the company at various times throughout the night, but I didn't keep track so I have no clue precisely how many I had.
For dinner I had steak and asparagus. I skipped the salad as I was full after eating the hot stuff. I didn't really want desert either, but that's what the guests brought so I had a about a small 2-inch square piece to be polite.
Over the course of the evening, the wine flowed freely.
Late last night, I had about 1/2 cup of the homemade mac and cheese I'd made for the kids. I knew at the time it was too late to be eating anything, much less mac and cheese, though it was made from Dreamfield noodles which are low carb.
Anyway, I gained back my 1.1 lb. lost from Friday. I wouldn't have been up over the mark even with all that, but I may be after today, so I'm glad I took preemptive measures.
Today I had my usual morning stuff, but then we worked outside in the yard all day, so eating was mostly coming in to grab stuff...and it adds up. Plus, I made sucky choices, so I'm glad I made a batch of eggs in case I need an egg day.
When I'd bop in the house I'd grab easy stuff like sugar-free puddings (two total) or Akins bars (two total) or the pistachios that are still out from last night (again, no idea how many). Then, for no reason I can explain other than I wanted it, I had a pile of the last of the mac and cheese--I'd guess at least a cup and a half. I will eat no more tonight, but I'm now tired because of it.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Day 28 stabilization
My honey did have a nice big steak for me, so I had that and an apple around 5 pm. We ended up staying up until about 10 pm though, and I was hungry and grumpy by then.
I only let go of 1.1 lb., so I'm still 'overweight' according to that damn Wii, but it did do what I wanted it to do in assuring that even with company tonight, if I eat and drink normally, I won't go over the 2 lb. range...and that I didn't start out the day there so that I couldn't enjoy my night at all, much less 'normally'.
I've had the usual for breakfast, and I think D and I are going to get some aerobics in today before our house cleaning and company stuff.
I only let go of 1.1 lb., so I'm still 'overweight' according to that damn Wii, but it did do what I wanted it to do in assuring that even with company tonight, if I eat and drink normally, I won't go over the 2 lb. range...and that I didn't start out the day there so that I couldn't enjoy my night at all, much less 'normally'.
I've had the usual for breakfast, and I think D and I are going to get some aerobics in today before our house cleaning and company stuff.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Day 27 stabilization
Yesterday wasn't as bad as I feared...it was a .7 gain today. That still puts me a about 1.5 lb. away from a steak day, but I'm going to confess that I'm going to try to cheat the system again.
My reasoning is thus: tomorrow I have company coming for dinner. Several times throughout this stabilization I have jumped 1.5 lbs. If I do that again tomorrow, I cannot have a steak stay, and I'll be screwed.
I've done this before during this time, but when I've been much closer to the tipping point.
In any case, it's not quite 10 am and I was really hungry already an hour ago. It passed and I'm good now. We'll see how the day goes.
Later-
It's after 2 pm and I'm between appointments again. The next one isn't for another hour or so. I hope it's short, because I'm reaching my limit. No headache yet, but growling tummy. I just drank about a liter of water, and I anticipate at least two more before I leave here. I hope my honey has that steak on the grill when I get there around 4-4:30!
My reasoning is thus: tomorrow I have company coming for dinner. Several times throughout this stabilization I have jumped 1.5 lbs. If I do that again tomorrow, I cannot have a steak stay, and I'll be screwed.
I've done this before during this time, but when I've been much closer to the tipping point.
In any case, it's not quite 10 am and I was really hungry already an hour ago. It passed and I'm good now. We'll see how the day goes.
Later-
It's after 2 pm and I'm between appointments again. The next one isn't for another hour or so. I hope it's short, because I'm reaching my limit. No headache yet, but growling tummy. I just drank about a liter of water, and I anticipate at least two more before I leave here. I hope my honey has that steak on the grill when I get there around 4-4:30!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Day 26 stabilization
Weird day. Should be interesting tomorrow.
Um,let's see...up early, Wii said I was up .4 lb.
Bacon and cheese for breakfast. 100 g. chicken for lunch. Macs and an apple mid-afternoon.
By the time I got out of work and could go to dinner (thus NOT go grocery shopping hungry). I was famished!
We went to what USED to be our favorite restaurant. Either they now suck, or our tastes have changed, because the last couple of times we've gone, we've been disappointed. The first attempt was WAY over-spiced and over done. The second attempt was overdone. I almost NEVER send stuff back, so you know it was bad. While I was waiting for said second attempt, I ate a dinner role. I also had croûtons on my salad and two glasses of wine. (Read: it ways bad AND slow.)
Went shopping and came home, but two glasses of wine and yoga or Wii would be a bad idea. I am such a cheap date.
In any event, I dread tomorrow's weigh in because I fear another freakin' steak day! It feels like such an over the top cheat.
Guess we'll see how much this little outing cost me.
Um,let's see...up early, Wii said I was up .4 lb.
Bacon and cheese for breakfast. 100 g. chicken for lunch. Macs and an apple mid-afternoon.
By the time I got out of work and could go to dinner (thus NOT go grocery shopping hungry). I was famished!
We went to what USED to be our favorite restaurant. Either they now suck, or our tastes have changed, because the last couple of times we've gone, we've been disappointed. The first attempt was WAY over-spiced and over done. The second attempt was overdone. I almost NEVER send stuff back, so you know it was bad. While I was waiting for said second attempt, I ate a dinner role. I also had croûtons on my salad and two glasses of wine. (Read: it ways bad AND slow.)
Went shopping and came home, but two glasses of wine and yoga or Wii would be a bad idea. I am such a cheap date.
In any event, I dread tomorrow's weigh in because I fear another freakin' steak day! It feels like such an over the top cheat.
Guess we'll see how much this little outing cost me.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Day 25 stabilization
Let's see...never did get the Wii in. The day got away from me and I ended up rushing at the end. My history paper, while I'm happy with it, took more research than I intended, and my procrastination and lack of business acumen meant I was scrambling to get my recertification requirements assembled.
At some point I grabbed a sugar free pudding cup.
I left for the class I had to teach with a handful of macs and a frozen piece of chicken I attempted to defrost on my heating vent (fail, BTW) and an apple. I ate those before class, and during class shared some of the pistachios I brought for the pregnant moms and dads.
Had a glass of wine when I got home.
I was down .7 lb. today, about .1 of a pound away from that 'normal' line again.
Today so far I've had coffee and the usual 2 slices cheese and 3 pieces of bacon.
On the agenda today is some more research for a different purpose, yoga, hypnosis appointment and a 4 hour class tonight for which I have some reading.
I was very excited yesterday! I went bathing suit shopping on eBay a couple of weeks ago. I bid on a bunch of suits, and actually won several for like $5. One is going to Goodwill, but the others I actually LIKE on me! THE most exciting part though, was that there was one I really, really liked. My dau even said that it looked like 'me', and it did. I was willing to actually pay more for it; it was perfect for me and it was new. I only had to pay about 1/2 of what I was willing to pay, and it arrived yesterday. I LOVE IT!
This is HUGE! I have not owned anything but a plain black one-piece, with a skirt, for years. Well, briefly there was a weird one piece tan fake suede looking thing I got when we won a cruise and couldn't find a darn thing that fit because I was shopping 'off season'. In any case, I had them but only wore them if I HAD to, and then when as few people as possible could see me.
Granted, these are all one-pieces or tankinis that cover the belly...I have grown an entire human being inside me after all, and she did leave marks. But they are so pretty! And they are actually flattering! Let me rephrase that: I actually look good in them! I have a choice in summer attire!
I also went to a different Goodwill than my usual yesterday, and I have to say, all Goodwill stores are not created equal. This one didn't have the quality or selection I find at my local store, nor were the prices nearly as good. I did find a brand new Ann Taylor shirt for $6, and a couple of dress jackets for work, but otherwise, I was not impressed.
I find that after shopping at Goodwill out of necessity (because I was shrinking out of stuff so fast) I actually prefer it now. I go into Kohl's and find a pair of pants I really like, and they are reasonably priced at $40 or so, but I think, "I'll probably see those exact pants at good will, preshrunk and a sure fit, at Goodwill for like $4 next week." Sure enough, that's what happens. I guess I prefer to save the $36, 'support the mission' and get the tax break for the turn around since the rule is something goes back if something comes in.
Oh! My appointment is in 40 min. and I'm not at all ready! Time to stop rambling and get to work!
At some point I grabbed a sugar free pudding cup.
I left for the class I had to teach with a handful of macs and a frozen piece of chicken I attempted to defrost on my heating vent (fail, BTW) and an apple. I ate those before class, and during class shared some of the pistachios I brought for the pregnant moms and dads.
Had a glass of wine when I got home.
I was down .7 lb. today, about .1 of a pound away from that 'normal' line again.
Today so far I've had coffee and the usual 2 slices cheese and 3 pieces of bacon.
On the agenda today is some more research for a different purpose, yoga, hypnosis appointment and a 4 hour class tonight for which I have some reading.
I was very excited yesterday! I went bathing suit shopping on eBay a couple of weeks ago. I bid on a bunch of suits, and actually won several for like $5. One is going to Goodwill, but the others I actually LIKE on me! THE most exciting part though, was that there was one I really, really liked. My dau even said that it looked like 'me', and it did. I was willing to actually pay more for it; it was perfect for me and it was new. I only had to pay about 1/2 of what I was willing to pay, and it arrived yesterday. I LOVE IT!
This is HUGE! I have not owned anything but a plain black one-piece, with a skirt, for years. Well, briefly there was a weird one piece tan fake suede looking thing I got when we won a cruise and couldn't find a darn thing that fit because I was shopping 'off season'. In any case, I had them but only wore them if I HAD to, and then when as few people as possible could see me.
Granted, these are all one-pieces or tankinis that cover the belly...I have grown an entire human being inside me after all, and she did leave marks. But they are so pretty! And they are actually flattering! Let me rephrase that: I actually look good in them! I have a choice in summer attire!
I also went to a different Goodwill than my usual yesterday, and I have to say, all Goodwill stores are not created equal. This one didn't have the quality or selection I find at my local store, nor were the prices nearly as good. I did find a brand new Ann Taylor shirt for $6, and a couple of dress jackets for work, but otherwise, I was not impressed.
I find that after shopping at Goodwill out of necessity (because I was shrinking out of stuff so fast) I actually prefer it now. I go into Kohl's and find a pair of pants I really like, and they are reasonably priced at $40 or so, but I think, "I'll probably see those exact pants at good will, preshrunk and a sure fit, at Goodwill for like $4 next week." Sure enough, that's what happens. I guess I prefer to save the $36, 'support the mission' and get the tax break for the turn around since the rule is something goes back if something comes in.
Oh! My appointment is in 40 min. and I'm not at all ready! Time to stop rambling and get to work!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Day 24 stabilization
Today I am one tenth of a lb. over my LIW. I really, really, really, REALLY wish I could get down to 2 lb. UNDER my LIW and stay there!!! I'm guessing that's not going to happen during this stabilization/maintenance phase. I should be happy that this didn't happen every round, or I would have been frustrated thinking this is going to be my life if I'm going to keep the weight off. I really don't understand why the actual protocol, and then this part, have been so labor intensive when the it was never this way before. Having said that, it's do-able...just a pain in the arse.
But, the fact of the matter is that a status that a friend posted on Facebook the other day sums up where I am quite well: "The beatings will continue until the morale improves." My body is fighting me for some stupid reason, but I don't care! I LOVE being at the size I am! I'm not giving it up without a freakin' fight! If I have to do a steak or egg day every day for the next two weeks or more, I will! At some point, my body will have to give up and say, 'Fine, you can stay here. I'll play nice.'
I'd really like a wiggle range of 129-132, which is slightly lower than where I am. I'm going to have to work to get there. The problem is it's going to take some experimentation, and the trial and error thus far keeps bumping me in the wrong direction. But like I said, eventually, my body must capitulate if I'm unwilling to yield in my demands. I'm the one controlling what goes into this body! I'm in charge now!
There was nothing to report yesterday as it was an egg day. Blech! I took a day off from yoga, and by the time I got done with work and appointments, it was dark and I was pooped so I didn't even get out for a walk though it was a beautiful day (I hear).
I took a hot bath and went to bed. I'm surrounded by sickies right now, so I thought that might be a nice preventative.
My body also decided, 'Nah! Just messing with you for the last two weeks.' Cycle symptoms are gone. It was a rather odd, likely peri-menopausal cycle. Neither here nor there for two weeks. But now it seems to be gone. I think.
I'm off to do yoga, then I'll be in my 'womb' (basement) for a few hours getting some work done, then off to teach class tonight. I'm also checking to see if I can horn in on my dau and dh's back-to-back chiro appointments. Again, a preventative measure to avoid this crud they have that I do not want.
Later-
Wimped out and did just 1/2 hour of yoga. I tried a new one and didn't like it much. I'll have to get a walk and/or some Wii in.
Breakfast-3 pieces of bacon and about 1 oz. cheese.
Lunch-about 1/4-1/2 cup tuna and 1 Clementine. Water, water, water, water.
But, the fact of the matter is that a status that a friend posted on Facebook the other day sums up where I am quite well: "The beatings will continue until the morale improves." My body is fighting me for some stupid reason, but I don't care! I LOVE being at the size I am! I'm not giving it up without a freakin' fight! If I have to do a steak or egg day every day for the next two weeks or more, I will! At some point, my body will have to give up and say, 'Fine, you can stay here. I'll play nice.'
I'd really like a wiggle range of 129-132, which is slightly lower than where I am. I'm going to have to work to get there. The problem is it's going to take some experimentation, and the trial and error thus far keeps bumping me in the wrong direction. But like I said, eventually, my body must capitulate if I'm unwilling to yield in my demands. I'm the one controlling what goes into this body! I'm in charge now!
There was nothing to report yesterday as it was an egg day. Blech! I took a day off from yoga, and by the time I got done with work and appointments, it was dark and I was pooped so I didn't even get out for a walk though it was a beautiful day (I hear).
I took a hot bath and went to bed. I'm surrounded by sickies right now, so I thought that might be a nice preventative.
My body also decided, 'Nah! Just messing with you for the last two weeks.' Cycle symptoms are gone. It was a rather odd, likely peri-menopausal cycle. Neither here nor there for two weeks. But now it seems to be gone. I think.
I'm off to do yoga, then I'll be in my 'womb' (basement) for a few hours getting some work done, then off to teach class tonight. I'm also checking to see if I can horn in on my dau and dh's back-to-back chiro appointments. Again, a preventative measure to avoid this crud they have that I do not want.
Later-
Wimped out and did just 1/2 hour of yoga. I tried a new one and didn't like it much. I'll have to get a walk and/or some Wii in.
Breakfast-3 pieces of bacon and about 1 oz. cheese.
Lunch-about 1/4-1/2 cup tuna and 1 Clementine. Water, water, water, water.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Day 23 stabilization
First things first: Kelly asked a couple of questions yesterday, and though I responded several times, none of those responses posted. I don't know what's up with that and don't have time to try to figure it out, so...
The bacon is a local store brand (in WI) but there was another that we used to get before that our grocery store no longer carries. I don't recall what it was, I'll have to ask my husband.
The choco-delite and the choco-crack sound like exactly the same thing. I happen to have acquired a taste for the dark but a little bitter.
OK, now on to the frustrating part.
DH and I ate the same things all day (though he ate far more) and did the same stuff throughout the day (though he did a bike ride instead of yoga). He lost 1.1 lb.---I gained 1.1 lb.
The variables are: the period that never starts and yet never ends, every inch of my body is sore, and it would seem an alimentary system that moves at a glacial pace. So, once again I am at a place where I don't really think it is anything to be concerned about, and I'm still .4 lb. away from a 'steak day', I must decide what to do.
For the next several days, I will be far too busy for a 'steak day', and today I have no one to prepare the steak. It is a distinct possibility that in the next three days, that .4 lb. could manifest, and I'd be stuck there. Thus, it seems prudent that another egg day is on my plate today (so to speak). Well, a modified egg day, since I've already had cream in my coffee.
Again, the way the day looks, it won't be difficult, just...tedious. I do not want a weekly (or more frequent) repeat of this for life! I just want to stay put!
However, I just took a bunch of (too big) stuff to Goodwill, and while there found the cutest pair of brand new pants I have ever owned! I got a few other really great things too, and one skirt is just ever so slightly too small; I could wear it, but it wouldn't be comfortable. It's a size 4. Honestly, I'm not sure what size I am at this point, as I've got stuff in my closet that fits from a 4 to a 10, yet I have a skirt in a 5 that is too small. Weird.
So anyway, shopping was fun and I have all new clothes, and I'm not giving an inch (or a fraction of an inch!) on this place where I want to be. Eggs it is!
The bacon is a local store brand (in WI) but there was another that we used to get before that our grocery store no longer carries. I don't recall what it was, I'll have to ask my husband.
The choco-delite and the choco-crack sound like exactly the same thing. I happen to have acquired a taste for the dark but a little bitter.
OK, now on to the frustrating part.
DH and I ate the same things all day (though he ate far more) and did the same stuff throughout the day (though he did a bike ride instead of yoga). He lost 1.1 lb.---I gained 1.1 lb.
The variables are: the period that never starts and yet never ends, every inch of my body is sore, and it would seem an alimentary system that moves at a glacial pace. So, once again I am at a place where I don't really think it is anything to be concerned about, and I'm still .4 lb. away from a 'steak day', I must decide what to do.
For the next several days, I will be far too busy for a 'steak day', and today I have no one to prepare the steak. It is a distinct possibility that in the next three days, that .4 lb. could manifest, and I'd be stuck there. Thus, it seems prudent that another egg day is on my plate today (so to speak). Well, a modified egg day, since I've already had cream in my coffee.
Again, the way the day looks, it won't be difficult, just...tedious. I do not want a weekly (or more frequent) repeat of this for life! I just want to stay put!
However, I just took a bunch of (too big) stuff to Goodwill, and while there found the cutest pair of brand new pants I have ever owned! I got a few other really great things too, and one skirt is just ever so slightly too small; I could wear it, but it wouldn't be comfortable. It's a size 4. Honestly, I'm not sure what size I am at this point, as I've got stuff in my closet that fits from a 4 to a 10, yet I have a skirt in a 5 that is too small. Weird.
So anyway, shopping was fun and I have all new clothes, and I'm not giving an inch (or a fraction of an inch!) on this place where I want to be. Eggs it is!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Day 22 stabilization
I gained .9 lb. today. Still more than a lb. away from another steak (or egg) day…and hoping to stay that way! I really don't like needing them every week, let alone twice per week! I didn't eat anything I shouldn't yesterday, and I didn't eat late, but I did drink like it was the weekend!
I did an hour of yoga and we walked probably 2 miles at a brisk pace yesterday afternoon. For dinner we had steak and baby Lima beans. I had a couple of choco-delights after dinner.
I have to say though, as much as I've complained about those steak days, for 3 weeks I have stayed within my '2 lb. either side of my last hCG' limit. It's just that the last two rounds of stabilization have been the only ones where there was any effort involved in keeping it there. Wait, the first one, it was an effort to not keep dropping, but I didn't consider that a problem.
So the fact that there is any work at all, or that any foods might be a problem is a little frustrating. Before, just following the vague rules kept me right where I needed to be. It seems, looking back over my journal, that I could eat a wider variety too, and not worry.
As I move into my last 3 weeks of stabilization, I'm a little afraid to add 'sugar and starch' even slowly, considering what the first 3 weeks has been like. But, when we go shopping, I will pick up a wider variety of fruits and veggies. I have no desire for anything sweet. I have no desire for breads or pasta. But if something like that crossed my path, I'd try a little and see what the scale said in the a.m.
Later-
Ok, we'll see what it does, I guess. I'm preparing eggs for another 'egg day' just in case tomorrow sucks.
I had a Clementine (teeny-tiny orange for anyone who doesn't eat them) with my bacon and cheese this morning, and for my after-yoga snack I had a serving of dried pineapple (1/3 cup) and a handful of macs. Yoga was long form and really intense, so I sort of allowed myself to feel I earned that snack. I'm still wiggly. Dave wants to go for a walk, but I asked him to give me an hour or two to recoup.
I'll see how tomorrow goes, and if it's not as bad as I fear, I think I'll try Irish oats on Wednesday.
Now for deep thoughts. :-)
A friend and I were discussing being a professional as a woman of size, and the pervasive idea that the fat hinders our progression up the later. I agreed whole-heartedly that it was certainly the case; after all, from first hand experience I know that if a woman is overweight she's often ignored. No matter how brilliant, confident or competent she is, she will have to go above and beyond to prove it because people make assumptions based on their first impressions.
But there was something about this conversation that just didn't sit right with me (besides the obvious injustice of it all) and I finally realized what it was: It's not OUR FAT that holds us back...it's OTHER PEOPLE'S IGNORANCE about our fat that holds us back.
It's not fair, but it's not going to change either. We can accept that we are in essence handicapped by proxy due to the assumption of others that we are lazy, stupid or incompetent just because some overweight people are (as are plenty of underweight people, but somehow the same judgments are not instantaneously made), we can fight to end fat discrimination (though it sure seems an endless battle) or we can kick ass and take names.
A year ago, I would have thought that only the first two options were open to me, and I tried, I really did, to just accept that it is what it is. I spent 20 years trying to get the weight of too...but every time I met with failure, internalized said failure, and sought invisibility once more. Now that I know there's hope, I would love to see my sisters in suffering join me and take back what is rightfully theirs. Getting thin and getting ahead is better than getting even.
It feels good to be here, but you know, I'm grateful for where I've come from because I have empathy that is from that unique perspective. I know it sucked to be there...even though I told myself it didn't. And it's empowering to have my life back, to feel vindicated that those judgments people made, often verbally and to my face, were wrong; that all those doctors over all those years were wrong. It's crazy-making to be told by EV-ER-Y-ONE that you must be lazy or lying or you'd be thin, even though you KNOW that's not true.
Later-
We did go for that long walk, and then another one after dinner. I'd estimate we walked about 3 miles total. I say estimate because while I do have a pedometer, it wasn't until the completion of the first walk that I realized that it needed to be re-calibrated.
Dinner was 100g chicken breast/blue cheese/pecan salad, but in addition to that, I had one deviled egg and about 1/4 cup of tuna with mayo and onions; I was making stuff for the week, and it's aways better to see if it's edible! :-)
I need to stretch again just because it was cold when we took that second walk and I wanted to warm up before getting the kinks out.
I did an hour of yoga and we walked probably 2 miles at a brisk pace yesterday afternoon. For dinner we had steak and baby Lima beans. I had a couple of choco-delights after dinner.
I have to say though, as much as I've complained about those steak days, for 3 weeks I have stayed within my '2 lb. either side of my last hCG' limit. It's just that the last two rounds of stabilization have been the only ones where there was any effort involved in keeping it there. Wait, the first one, it was an effort to not keep dropping, but I didn't consider that a problem.
So the fact that there is any work at all, or that any foods might be a problem is a little frustrating. Before, just following the vague rules kept me right where I needed to be. It seems, looking back over my journal, that I could eat a wider variety too, and not worry.
As I move into my last 3 weeks of stabilization, I'm a little afraid to add 'sugar and starch' even slowly, considering what the first 3 weeks has been like. But, when we go shopping, I will pick up a wider variety of fruits and veggies. I have no desire for anything sweet. I have no desire for breads or pasta. But if something like that crossed my path, I'd try a little and see what the scale said in the a.m.
Later-
Ok, we'll see what it does, I guess. I'm preparing eggs for another 'egg day' just in case tomorrow sucks.
I had a Clementine (teeny-tiny orange for anyone who doesn't eat them) with my bacon and cheese this morning, and for my after-yoga snack I had a serving of dried pineapple (1/3 cup) and a handful of macs. Yoga was long form and really intense, so I sort of allowed myself to feel I earned that snack. I'm still wiggly. Dave wants to go for a walk, but I asked him to give me an hour or two to recoup.
I'll see how tomorrow goes, and if it's not as bad as I fear, I think I'll try Irish oats on Wednesday.
Now for deep thoughts. :-)
A friend and I were discussing being a professional as a woman of size, and the pervasive idea that the fat hinders our progression up the later. I agreed whole-heartedly that it was certainly the case; after all, from first hand experience I know that if a woman is overweight she's often ignored. No matter how brilliant, confident or competent she is, she will have to go above and beyond to prove it because people make assumptions based on their first impressions.
But there was something about this conversation that just didn't sit right with me (besides the obvious injustice of it all) and I finally realized what it was: It's not OUR FAT that holds us back...it's OTHER PEOPLE'S IGNORANCE about our fat that holds us back.
It's not fair, but it's not going to change either. We can accept that we are in essence handicapped by proxy due to the assumption of others that we are lazy, stupid or incompetent just because some overweight people are (as are plenty of underweight people, but somehow the same judgments are not instantaneously made), we can fight to end fat discrimination (though it sure seems an endless battle) or we can kick ass and take names.
A year ago, I would have thought that only the first two options were open to me, and I tried, I really did, to just accept that it is what it is. I spent 20 years trying to get the weight of too...but every time I met with failure, internalized said failure, and sought invisibility once more. Now that I know there's hope, I would love to see my sisters in suffering join me and take back what is rightfully theirs. Getting thin and getting ahead is better than getting even.
It feels good to be here, but you know, I'm grateful for where I've come from because I have empathy that is from that unique perspective. I know it sucked to be there...even though I told myself it didn't. And it's empowering to have my life back, to feel vindicated that those judgments people made, often verbally and to my face, were wrong; that all those doctors over all those years were wrong. It's crazy-making to be told by EV-ER-Y-ONE that you must be lazy or lying or you'd be thin, even though you KNOW that's not true.
Later-
We did go for that long walk, and then another one after dinner. I'd estimate we walked about 3 miles total. I say estimate because while I do have a pedometer, it wasn't until the completion of the first walk that I realized that it needed to be re-calibrated.
Dinner was 100g chicken breast/blue cheese/pecan salad, but in addition to that, I had one deviled egg and about 1/4 cup of tuna with mayo and onions; I was making stuff for the week, and it's aways better to see if it's edible! :-)
I need to stretch again just because it was cold when we took that second walk and I wanted to warm up before getting the kinks out.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Day 21 Stabilization
Hm...let's see...yesterday, bacon and cheese for breakfast, macs for a snack, later an apple and when I got home more macs.
I went out to dinner with a wonderful friend and it was yummy!! Had garlic stuffed filet, green beans and too much good wine. I'm up.2 of a lb., but I don't consider that bad with the night had!
Today, we are going to get some errands in, spend some time outside (it's going to be in the 40s today!) and do long form yoga.
So far today I've had the same foods as yesterday at this time, minus the macs.
I went out to dinner with a wonderful friend and it was yummy!! Had garlic stuffed filet, green beans and too much good wine. I'm up.2 of a lb., but I don't consider that bad with the night had!
Today, we are going to get some errands in, spend some time outside (it's going to be in the 40s today!) and do long form yoga.
So far today I've had the same foods as yesterday at this time, minus the macs.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Day 20 stabilization
Despite the lack of sleep, bad attitude and class of wine I used to knock me the f*ck out last night (which didn't work) after I was awoken from my desired comatose state.
My egg day seems to have worked. I'm down 2 lb. So I'm smaller to day, but grumpy. The eggs weren't much better than the steak. Today may have to be a 'protein shake day' just because I don't know when I'll find time to eat.
I'm grateful for small things, like the fact that I'm not sick, like Dave.
My egg day seems to have worked. I'm down 2 lb. So I'm smaller to day, but grumpy. The eggs weren't much better than the steak. Today may have to be a 'protein shake day' just because I don't know when I'll find time to eat.
I'm grateful for small things, like the fact that I'm not sick, like Dave.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Day 19 stabilization
Yesterday the food stuff was typical. Coffee with cream, 1/2 cup tuna with mayo and 2 oz. swiss cheese. One deviled egg...and there was something else with that, but I for the life of me can't remember what. I'm guessing cheese. Later, chicken, bacon and an apple, all on the run between places. I did have to resort to a handful of macs in class last night.
I did get quality sleep (finally!) last night, but not enough. I also had a chiropractic adjustment and I'm a little sore.
My weight is up .4 again today. I still have more than 1/2 lb. to go before I'm too worried. I know my calorie count was within range and other than not being able to exercise there's no cause for a gain other than the usual contributing factors like water retention and the need for sleep and more water.
However, I'm going to try the egg day today to see what happens. I have plans to go out with a friend tomorrow, and a steak day won't work. Today I'm busy enough that an egg day will. And I can collapse as soon as I'm done teaching tonight because I'm doing so from home. Yay!
Wayyyyyy Later-
I did great all day, eating only 6 eggs all day, up at 5:30 am, working until it was time to come home and clean what I JUST freakin' cleaned, teach at 6:30 pm until 9, fall into a coma by 9:15 pm...only to be awoken repeatedly by inconsideration.
So now I'm trying to calm down enough to go back to sleep for the perhaps (hopefully) 6 short hours I have to actually sleep before doing it all again, but I was too hungry, and too annoyed. I've had two protocol chocolates and a big glass of wine and my 'egg day' experiment is screwed. Nice.
I did get quality sleep (finally!) last night, but not enough. I also had a chiropractic adjustment and I'm a little sore.
My weight is up .4 again today. I still have more than 1/2 lb. to go before I'm too worried. I know my calorie count was within range and other than not being able to exercise there's no cause for a gain other than the usual contributing factors like water retention and the need for sleep and more water.
However, I'm going to try the egg day today to see what happens. I have plans to go out with a friend tomorrow, and a steak day won't work. Today I'm busy enough that an egg day will. And I can collapse as soon as I'm done teaching tonight because I'm doing so from home. Yay!
Wayyyyyy Later-
I did great all day, eating only 6 eggs all day, up at 5:30 am, working until it was time to come home and clean what I JUST freakin' cleaned, teach at 6:30 pm until 9, fall into a coma by 9:15 pm...only to be awoken repeatedly by inconsideration.
So now I'm trying to calm down enough to go back to sleep for the perhaps (hopefully) 6 short hours I have to actually sleep before doing it all again, but I was too hungry, and too annoyed. I've had two protocol chocolates and a big glass of wine and my 'egg day' experiment is screwed. Nice.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 18 stabilization
Still a lb. away from steak day, and lots of factors could be contributing to this little uptick.
I know I ate right yesterday, and I got some great yoga in, along with house cleaning and teaching, which always makes me sweat.
BUT that period still looms (and from experience we know that could last a week or more) AND I probably didn't drink enough water after about3 or 4 pm AND I didn't get to bed until about 11:30 pm, only to have some IDIOT from Maryland call us at 4:40 am and scare the bejebus out of us. Any call at 4:40 am can't be good. The fact that it was a wrong number or whoever called us changed their minds doesn't negate the fact that now we are up and the adrenaline is pumping. Because I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights (I'd wake up at like 3 am because I was dreaming about work) I was able to go back to sleep. Dave just got up because his alarm goes at 5:10 anyway. Well, it did again, meaning I then woke up abruptly at 5:10 and again at 6 (I don't know why…I heard a noise?) and again at 7...wondering why my alarm didn't go off, which is ultimately why I got up then. I figured if it didn't go off I must have set it for pm instead of am or something and if I fell asleep I'd miss appointments. But no, I had just set it for 7:30 so it hadn't gone off YET.
I've had perhaps 10-12 hours total restful sleep in the last 3 days, which for me is not enough. I would attribute the weight gain to that mostly.
However, since I'm still a lb. under the mandatory steak day limit, I'm not too concerned. I'll go about today a little like yesterday…yoga, chiropractic (which I thought was supposed to be yesterday, but I was wrong) the business side of teaching, a few appointments and prep for tomorrow and Friday (because they are PACKED and I won't have time to breathe those days) and history class tonight.
Tomorrow, I cannot see time for yoga at all.
Friday, perhaps short form after work.
Sat. perhaps super long form.
Oh, and last night I did have the chicken/pecan salad for dinner.
I know I ate right yesterday, and I got some great yoga in, along with house cleaning and teaching, which always makes me sweat.
BUT that period still looms (and from experience we know that could last a week or more) AND I probably didn't drink enough water after about3 or 4 pm AND I didn't get to bed until about 11:30 pm, only to have some IDIOT from Maryland call us at 4:40 am and scare the bejebus out of us. Any call at 4:40 am can't be good. The fact that it was a wrong number or whoever called us changed their minds doesn't negate the fact that now we are up and the adrenaline is pumping. Because I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights (I'd wake up at like 3 am because I was dreaming about work) I was able to go back to sleep. Dave just got up because his alarm goes at 5:10 anyway. Well, it did again, meaning I then woke up abruptly at 5:10 and again at 6 (I don't know why…I heard a noise?) and again at 7...wondering why my alarm didn't go off, which is ultimately why I got up then. I figured if it didn't go off I must have set it for pm instead of am or something and if I fell asleep I'd miss appointments. But no, I had just set it for 7:30 so it hadn't gone off YET.
I've had perhaps 10-12 hours total restful sleep in the last 3 days, which for me is not enough. I would attribute the weight gain to that mostly.
However, since I'm still a lb. under the mandatory steak day limit, I'm not too concerned. I'll go about today a little like yesterday…yoga, chiropractic (which I thought was supposed to be yesterday, but I was wrong) the business side of teaching, a few appointments and prep for tomorrow and Friday (because they are PACKED and I won't have time to breathe those days) and history class tonight.
Tomorrow, I cannot see time for yoga at all.
Friday, perhaps short form after work.
Sat. perhaps super long form.
Oh, and last night I did have the chicken/pecan salad for dinner.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 17 stabilization
Ok, I'm thinking the focus on pure protein and the intense yoga are a good combo. Today I was down .7 lb, even though there are signs of 'girl stuff' on the near horizon.
So, I did an hour and a half of yoga this a.m. I had my coffee with cream beforehand, and then one herbed egg and 2 oz. cheese for breakfast. For lunch I had about a tablespoon of tuna that my husband graciously left me, (I made it for him last night and it was soooo yummy I can't believe he left me even a bite!) an oz. of cheese and an apple. I figured I should have some fiber with all that cheese!
I'd really love to make more tuna for dinner, but I also figure I should toss in some veggies. So, perhaps I should have the chicken/pecan/gorgonzola tossed salad, or the feta/tomato/cuke again. Also, keeping in mind I'll be in a room full of pregnant mommas tonight, it would not be nice to go with tuna and onions for dinner. :-0
If I'm going to mess up the kitchen, I should do that before I go on my cleaning spree, so I guess that's my next move.
So, I did an hour and a half of yoga this a.m. I had my coffee with cream beforehand, and then one herbed egg and 2 oz. cheese for breakfast. For lunch I had about a tablespoon of tuna that my husband graciously left me, (I made it for him last night and it was soooo yummy I can't believe he left me even a bite!) an oz. of cheese and an apple. I figured I should have some fiber with all that cheese!
I'd really love to make more tuna for dinner, but I also figure I should toss in some veggies. So, perhaps I should have the chicken/pecan/gorgonzola tossed salad, or the feta/tomato/cuke again. Also, keeping in mind I'll be in a room full of pregnant mommas tonight, it would not be nice to go with tuna and onions for dinner. :-0
If I'm going to mess up the kitchen, I should do that before I go on my cleaning spree, so I guess that's my next move.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day 16 stabilization
Yesterday was good. I ate all I wanted when I wanted. I just had to eat different things in order to not gain, which I didn't. I lost .2 lb.
I had a deviled egg after I made them. I had to test one! And I did get in 1/2 hour of Wii. Even though it was a couple of hours after my piece of white pizza I had for dinner, I was still so full, some of the Wii was uncomfortable to do...like the hula hoop.
Later, I did have a glass of wine, and I did have a protocol chocolate or two.
The Wii was quite funny today. It said I lost 126 lb. and reached my 'goal' early! I had a BMI of like 1.6. HA! I don't know why it needed to be rebooted, but it did.
So, yesterday, I went to a birthday party where the most decadent cupcakes were available. I didn't have any. We went to Appleton (an hour drive), where we might have gone out to eat at a restaurant worth going to. We didn't. It's just to iffy in stabilization, especially when it has been so odd. I'm going to venture a guess and say unless something special comes up before my birthday in April, we likely won't eat out until then.
By the end of March, I hope to be stabilized toward the lower end of that 2 lb. leeway in either direction from the last hCG weight. I've decided without a doubt that I do NOT want to be 116 as per the Wii, but perhaps by the end of summer I can slowly get down to 124, which is currently 10 lb. If I can stabilize closer to 132, it will be 8 lb. That's not worth doing another 'round', especially if my body now will respond the way it's supposed to. I won't know that until I try traditional methods of shedding...exercising more and dropping my calories to below 1200. Well, for me it will likely be a little lower; closer to 1000. In any case, it's a novel concept that it might actually work for me. I can't remember a time when it did, but everything is different now, so we'll see.
Later-
I had an apple in the a.m., 2 deviled eggs and 2 oz. of cheese for lunch, followed by about 4-5 strawberries. I've drank water all day. I was going to have tuna or the chicken pecan salad for dinner, but the eggs called, so I had the same thing for dinner I had for lunch. Meh. Sue me. I never claimed to be a paragon of virtue, and besides, the pyramid of nutritional death is what made me fat and UNhealthy, so while I'm a little sad I didn't eat a veggie today, I'm not going to eat one when I'm not hungry just to say I ate one.
I did an hour and a half of yoga, and I feel great. According to FitDay, I've eaten just under 1200 calories and can eat over 2000. That isn't going to happen. And I'll be going to get 1/2 hour or so of Wii in after I'm done here.
However, one subject has been coming up for people who are moving into stabilization, and it ties into what would be seen as my horrible nutritional intake today...by 'traditional' standards.
Convention tells us there are good fats and bad fats and we need those whole grains...rice and wheat and soy. Again, I say 'meh'. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that if we ate more like we were built to eat...yes to things we would hunt or gather...nuts, seeds, berries, other seasonal and regional fruits, ditto for the veggies...we'd be healthier. I know we'd be less huge.
So people get hung up on what they 'should' eat when they move into stabilization. They think they need to concentrate on lots of low fat meats and large amounts of veggies. If I did that, I'd start gaining. I have learned that for me to stay where I am, I need to eat fats and proteins and keep the carbs very low and the sugars at almost nil.
Some studies are coming out that vindicate Atkins. There are now books that echo what he was saying years ago...like Primal Blueprint and The Paleo Diet and Good Calories Bad Calories. It's not fat that makes us fat...not even animal sources of fat. It's the sugar and refined grains that mess with insulin levels, which is also what makes us sick.
Now, lots of people don't want to hear that, and that's ok. Lots of people want to say hCG doesn't work for weight loss either. They keep trying to interrupt me while I'm doing it. I don't ask that anyone else believe it or do it, but if they lose the weight with the Simeons protocol and go back to eating a diet high in carbs...including organic brown rice and sprouted grain bread...they will very likely gain it back. If they think their body won't pack on pounds because they eat organic maple syrup on the whole wheat pancakes instead of maple flavored sugar syrup on freezer waffles, they can go right ahead and see how that works for them. I ate 'healthy' like that for 20 years and got fatter every year.
I am NOT saying that no one can eat like that without gaining. I know lots of people that can. What I am saying is that for people who must resort to something like the Simeons protocol to finally fix their bodies so they can lose weight probably can't go back to conventional thinking to keep it off.
I had a deviled egg after I made them. I had to test one! And I did get in 1/2 hour of Wii. Even though it was a couple of hours after my piece of white pizza I had for dinner, I was still so full, some of the Wii was uncomfortable to do...like the hula hoop.
Later, I did have a glass of wine, and I did have a protocol chocolate or two.
The Wii was quite funny today. It said I lost 126 lb. and reached my 'goal' early! I had a BMI of like 1.6. HA! I don't know why it needed to be rebooted, but it did.
So, yesterday, I went to a birthday party where the most decadent cupcakes were available. I didn't have any. We went to Appleton (an hour drive), where we might have gone out to eat at a restaurant worth going to. We didn't. It's just to iffy in stabilization, especially when it has been so odd. I'm going to venture a guess and say unless something special comes up before my birthday in April, we likely won't eat out until then.
By the end of March, I hope to be stabilized toward the lower end of that 2 lb. leeway in either direction from the last hCG weight. I've decided without a doubt that I do NOT want to be 116 as per the Wii, but perhaps by the end of summer I can slowly get down to 124, which is currently 10 lb. If I can stabilize closer to 132, it will be 8 lb. That's not worth doing another 'round', especially if my body now will respond the way it's supposed to. I won't know that until I try traditional methods of shedding...exercising more and dropping my calories to below 1200. Well, for me it will likely be a little lower; closer to 1000. In any case, it's a novel concept that it might actually work for me. I can't remember a time when it did, but everything is different now, so we'll see.
Later-
I had an apple in the a.m., 2 deviled eggs and 2 oz. of cheese for lunch, followed by about 4-5 strawberries. I've drank water all day. I was going to have tuna or the chicken pecan salad for dinner, but the eggs called, so I had the same thing for dinner I had for lunch. Meh. Sue me. I never claimed to be a paragon of virtue, and besides, the pyramid of nutritional death is what made me fat and UNhealthy, so while I'm a little sad I didn't eat a veggie today, I'm not going to eat one when I'm not hungry just to say I ate one.
I did an hour and a half of yoga, and I feel great. According to FitDay, I've eaten just under 1200 calories and can eat over 2000. That isn't going to happen. And I'll be going to get 1/2 hour or so of Wii in after I'm done here.
However, one subject has been coming up for people who are moving into stabilization, and it ties into what would be seen as my horrible nutritional intake today...by 'traditional' standards.
Convention tells us there are good fats and bad fats and we need those whole grains...rice and wheat and soy. Again, I say 'meh'. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that if we ate more like we were built to eat...yes to things we would hunt or gather...nuts, seeds, berries, other seasonal and regional fruits, ditto for the veggies...we'd be healthier. I know we'd be less huge.
So people get hung up on what they 'should' eat when they move into stabilization. They think they need to concentrate on lots of low fat meats and large amounts of veggies. If I did that, I'd start gaining. I have learned that for me to stay where I am, I need to eat fats and proteins and keep the carbs very low and the sugars at almost nil.
Some studies are coming out that vindicate Atkins. There are now books that echo what he was saying years ago...like Primal Blueprint and The Paleo Diet and Good Calories Bad Calories. It's not fat that makes us fat...not even animal sources of fat. It's the sugar and refined grains that mess with insulin levels, which is also what makes us sick.
Now, lots of people don't want to hear that, and that's ok. Lots of people want to say hCG doesn't work for weight loss either. They keep trying to interrupt me while I'm doing it. I don't ask that anyone else believe it or do it, but if they lose the weight with the Simeons protocol and go back to eating a diet high in carbs...including organic brown rice and sprouted grain bread...they will very likely gain it back. If they think their body won't pack on pounds because they eat organic maple syrup on the whole wheat pancakes instead of maple flavored sugar syrup on freezer waffles, they can go right ahead and see how that works for them. I ate 'healthy' like that for 20 years and got fatter every year.
I am NOT saying that no one can eat like that without gaining. I know lots of people that can. What I am saying is that for people who must resort to something like the Simeons protocol to finally fix their bodies so they can lose weight probably can't go back to conventional thinking to keep it off.
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