Yea! Today I get cream in my coffee!!!
I've already been to FitDay which is where I record every single thing I eat and add up my calories. I just put in that I'll have 4 tblsp. of heavy cream, even though I've only had one so far. I know I'll likely have 4 cups of coffee and they will ALL have cream!
FitDay also tell me how many calories I can have each day to maintain my weight. It will add up my activities as I plug them in so that if I burn more, it will tell me how many more I can eat. LiveStrong Daily Plate does the same thing, I believe, but I know from helping clients figure out what their daily calorie count should be that it figures high. Actually, I know from experience that for me, FitDay does too. For instance, it says for my age, activity level and weight, I should consume about 1,700 calories per day. I know that if I do, I will gain. I actually need to stay around 1,200-1,500 to maintain. That is weight LOSS range for most people, but for me it is where I stay stable. Or ate least it has been in the past. We'll see this time. If I have to modulate, I will.
Today I was up .2 of a pound, although those little ups and downs are normal during this stage. Still the damn line eludes me! I'm not worried about it for two reasons. First, I know why it's there. I ate after dark last night. I forgot to eat my fruit after dinner, so I had it around 8 pm. And I did stay up late and was having a hard time, so I had a few more nuts. I know that during stabilization neither of those things is an issue, and I know that the hCG was essentially out of my system or I wouldn't have been hungry, but I also know that food eaten so close to bed is going to be stored. I need to just program into my brain (hypnosis!) that I need avoid food after dark like a vampire avoids light. So, I .2 gain...not a big deal.
I still don't know what I will have for breakfast. I guess it depends on what Dave has. If he has cereal, I'll have cottage cheese and strawberries. If he has an omelet, I'll share that. No matter what I choose, it will go into the FitDay log so I can make sure I stay somewhere in the 1,200-1,600 range.
11:21 am
I did have 1/2 cup (heaping) of cottage cheese and 5 strawberries for breakfast. With the coffee and cream, FitDay puts me at about 400 calories so far today.
We decided we are going to have steak and stuffed mushrooms for our Valentine's Day dinner. I'm going to see if I can find a desert that just uses Stevia and allowable items...perhaps something with cocoa but no starch. We'll see what I find.
4:53 pm
We just had dinner. I had a 200g steak and 3 stuffed mushrooms, which is about 600 calories. I've had two more cups of coffee with cream, so about another 100 calories. FitDay calculates that with the hour of Wii I did so far today, I can consume about 1,776 calories. I have thus far consumed about 1,730. I may have a piece or two of chocolate delight later. I don't know. It's too cold to go for a walk, so maybe Dave and I will do yoga or a Wii competition to burn off a few of those extra calories.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Day 28
Let's see; I continued to eat per protocol all day. I was really hungry by dinner because I got held up for longer than expected.
Today I got up late and had to pull everything together for the class I was teaching. I had an apple and some macs because I didn't want the house to smell like chicken and cabbage or something with a pregnant mom's sensitive nose (and perhaps tummy) coming in for the day. By the time I was done teaching, I was VERY hungry and did have that chicken and cabbage. Now I'm drinking coffee.
This a.m. I was down .4 lb. and my underwear are too big.
I still will be eating protocol for the duration of the night, though I know from experience that I may be very, very hungry if I end up staying up late. I may need a little something hi-pro by the end. We'll see.
People have asked me what I'm going to eat once I can have anything I want except starch and sugar, and pretty much I have to say probably the same things I've been eating, at least for awhile. I know that eggs, some nuts, and cauliflower crust pizza are on the menu. I know I will likely want a tomato cucumber salad with feta, is likely something I'll make, and blue cheese burgers. Tonight Dave wants chili, but now we make protocol chili anyway, so that's what I'll have too. I don't know if I'll add too much cheese right away. We'll see how it goes. I did buy caraway farmers and a veggie cheddar that I like.
The biggest thing I look forward to is my cream in my coffee tomorrow. What I will still be missing for another couple of weeks...maybe up to three...is wine. Oddly enough though, right this very minute it doesn't sound remotely interesting. I just know that it comes up from time to time; it has during protocol and I'm sure it will during stabilization/maintenance. At least I don't have any social engagements coming up (other than the charity fund-raiser thing, but I'm not too worried about that anymore) where I'll be tempted. I've made too much progress.
Speaking of, my last hCG weight was 132.8 with a BMI of around 27. I'm still right on the line of 'overweight/normal' for weight according to Wii. AARP says my BMI should be between 18-26. Other places say 16-25. I'm close either way.
Typically, the last hCG weight is where you lock in, but I'm not even sure if that's what I should do. Nothing about this round was typical. Frankly, since I see the rest of my life as 'maintenance' now, I don't see a problem with continuing to lose if it's just a little. I know that when I took that stance before, I just gained it back really quickly during the loading phase of the next round, but I don't intend to have to do this again. Like Dave, I figure perhaps my body will work like it's supposed to now, and if I just keep really close tabs on calories in/calories out, I should be able to stay pretty close to where I am. But since I was shooting for 124, if I continued in that direction, I'd be ok with that, as long as it was slow and effortless.
Today I got up late and had to pull everything together for the class I was teaching. I had an apple and some macs because I didn't want the house to smell like chicken and cabbage or something with a pregnant mom's sensitive nose (and perhaps tummy) coming in for the day. By the time I was done teaching, I was VERY hungry and did have that chicken and cabbage. Now I'm drinking coffee.
This a.m. I was down .4 lb. and my underwear are too big.
I still will be eating protocol for the duration of the night, though I know from experience that I may be very, very hungry if I end up staying up late. I may need a little something hi-pro by the end. We'll see.
People have asked me what I'm going to eat once I can have anything I want except starch and sugar, and pretty much I have to say probably the same things I've been eating, at least for awhile. I know that eggs, some nuts, and cauliflower crust pizza are on the menu. I know I will likely want a tomato cucumber salad with feta, is likely something I'll make, and blue cheese burgers. Tonight Dave wants chili, but now we make protocol chili anyway, so that's what I'll have too. I don't know if I'll add too much cheese right away. We'll see how it goes. I did buy caraway farmers and a veggie cheddar that I like.
The biggest thing I look forward to is my cream in my coffee tomorrow. What I will still be missing for another couple of weeks...maybe up to three...is wine. Oddly enough though, right this very minute it doesn't sound remotely interesting. I just know that it comes up from time to time; it has during protocol and I'm sure it will during stabilization/maintenance. At least I don't have any social engagements coming up (other than the charity fund-raiser thing, but I'm not too worried about that anymore) where I'll be tempted. I've made too much progress.
Speaking of, my last hCG weight was 132.8 with a BMI of around 27. I'm still right on the line of 'overweight/normal' for weight according to Wii. AARP says my BMI should be between 18-26. Other places say 16-25. I'm close either way.
Typically, the last hCG weight is where you lock in, but I'm not even sure if that's what I should do. Nothing about this round was typical. Frankly, since I see the rest of my life as 'maintenance' now, I don't see a problem with continuing to lose if it's just a little. I know that when I took that stance before, I just gained it back really quickly during the loading phase of the next round, but I don't intend to have to do this again. Like Dave, I figure perhaps my body will work like it's supposed to now, and if I just keep really close tabs on calories in/calories out, I should be able to stay pretty close to where I am. But since I was shooting for 124, if I continued in that direction, I'd be ok with that, as long as it was slow and effortless.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Day 27
I'm not even sure why I'm continuing at this point, to be honest. It was a zero day. Yesterday was exhausting. It was 16 hours of non-stop talking, and believe it or not, even for me, enough is enough! I fell into a deep sleep the instant my head hit the pillow, and I really would love to still be there!
I went to bed hungry, although I was able to get all my 500 calorie protocol foods in. I woke up hungry to a big fat zero, and was more disappointed than ever to not be under that 'overweight' line into normal range. Maybe I'll just never be normal. :-)
Anyway, I went back to my diary of all past rounds to see if this had happened before, and what I might have done to manage it. There were only about 4 other times in the whole year where I gained a pound or more. Most larger gains were under that, and I would gain like .7 or .9 and then release .5 the next day and equal or more the day after. With the biggest gains, I always had gotten rid of it within two or three days, sometimes the very next day, and only once was there a zero day soon after. This happened more on the second round, which I started too soon on the heels of the first round, and I quit after 17 days and 11 lb. because it was harder than it should have been...like this time. So, I wonder if it's less about the hCG and more about my body just needing that time between rounds...regardless of what my head wanted. I never did anything special to correct with any of the gains. My apple days were always with two or three days of zeros...not gains. And really, I got little out of those for the most part.
If I didn't have that social event coming up, I would quit today. I just don't trust myself to go to this thing and not have wine and munchies if I don't have the deterrent of the hCG...and there is some hope beyond hope I guess that I'll be able to get just 3 or 4 more lb. out of this, as unlikely as that is looking. This just may be where my body wants me to be for a year or so. Maybe the rest will come off all by itself.
On a positive note, I hear birds singing outside and it was light when I got up this am! Spring really will be here soon, even if it was in the negative single digits this morning!
Later-
I had some time to sit and meditate on what I should do with this situation. I ultimately came to the conclusion that I should listen to what I've told several clients this week...sometimes it's your body that decides when you are done. All of my self-talk even here seems to be saying that. My intuition says there is no reason to keep going, and I shouldn't be worried about this social event. I'll do fine no matter where I am in the program. Social events are part of the fabric of life, and there's no reason I can't attend and not eat or drink. There is no guarantee that I won't mess up, but if I do, it will be with consciousness. I did realize however, that a lot of my clients will be at this event, and that may be almost as good as hCG in regard to accountability.
So, yesterday was my last shot. I continue today and tomorrow just as I did yesterday and each day while on protocol before that. From experience, I know that as the hCG leaves the system, sometimes that 3rd day is a bear, but we'll see what happens this time. I really have no clue how it will go...or how stabilization and maintenance will go this time. This round has been so different in so many ways, I don't really know what to expect.
I went to bed hungry, although I was able to get all my 500 calorie protocol foods in. I woke up hungry to a big fat zero, and was more disappointed than ever to not be under that 'overweight' line into normal range. Maybe I'll just never be normal. :-)
Anyway, I went back to my diary of all past rounds to see if this had happened before, and what I might have done to manage it. There were only about 4 other times in the whole year where I gained a pound or more. Most larger gains were under that, and I would gain like .7 or .9 and then release .5 the next day and equal or more the day after. With the biggest gains, I always had gotten rid of it within two or three days, sometimes the very next day, and only once was there a zero day soon after. This happened more on the second round, which I started too soon on the heels of the first round, and I quit after 17 days and 11 lb. because it was harder than it should have been...like this time. So, I wonder if it's less about the hCG and more about my body just needing that time between rounds...regardless of what my head wanted. I never did anything special to correct with any of the gains. My apple days were always with two or three days of zeros...not gains. And really, I got little out of those for the most part.
If I didn't have that social event coming up, I would quit today. I just don't trust myself to go to this thing and not have wine and munchies if I don't have the deterrent of the hCG...and there is some hope beyond hope I guess that I'll be able to get just 3 or 4 more lb. out of this, as unlikely as that is looking. This just may be where my body wants me to be for a year or so. Maybe the rest will come off all by itself.
On a positive note, I hear birds singing outside and it was light when I got up this am! Spring really will be here soon, even if it was in the negative single digits this morning!
Later-
I had some time to sit and meditate on what I should do with this situation. I ultimately came to the conclusion that I should listen to what I've told several clients this week...sometimes it's your body that decides when you are done. All of my self-talk even here seems to be saying that. My intuition says there is no reason to keep going, and I shouldn't be worried about this social event. I'll do fine no matter where I am in the program. Social events are part of the fabric of life, and there's no reason I can't attend and not eat or drink. There is no guarantee that I won't mess up, but if I do, it will be with consciousness. I did realize however, that a lot of my clients will be at this event, and that may be almost as good as hCG in regard to accountability.
So, yesterday was my last shot. I continue today and tomorrow just as I did yesterday and each day while on protocol before that. From experience, I know that as the hCG leaves the system, sometimes that 3rd day is a bear, but we'll see what happens this time. I really have no clue how it will go...or how stabilization and maintenance will go this time. This round has been so different in so many ways, I don't really know what to expect.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Day 26
Another -.4 day. I was right; it's going to take me at least until tomorrow to make up for that 1.1 gain. So I lost 4, maybe 5, days for something that wasn't even a fun or satisfying cheat...it was just something I've been able to do in a pinch (and many others do all the time) without consequence. I just added time to an already seemingly endless round.
I know; not very inspiring. The round I actually decide to document for all to see is a struggle. But hey, there were moments in the other rounds too. They were just overall a breeze.
I'll take my lunch today. I have 11 consults today, followed by barely enough time to eat something for dinner, and then I teach a class tonight. I will busy from the time I get up from this computer until I drop into bed. I didn't even look ahead to tomorrow. I have no clue what it holds, but I know at least after 5 I'm done. This weekend I should have time for some exercise. I should be able to drop below that 'normal' line.
I will be working on stuff for my next HypnoBirthing series, which starts in a couple of weeks, ordering books for my next classes which start in a couple of weeks, and figuring out how to pay for it all, which is on my mind constantly.
Sigh. I guess I should get my act together and get this day started.
I know; not very inspiring. The round I actually decide to document for all to see is a struggle. But hey, there were moments in the other rounds too. They were just overall a breeze.
I'll take my lunch today. I have 11 consults today, followed by barely enough time to eat something for dinner, and then I teach a class tonight. I will busy from the time I get up from this computer until I drop into bed. I didn't even look ahead to tomorrow. I have no clue what it holds, but I know at least after 5 I'm done. This weekend I should have time for some exercise. I should be able to drop below that 'normal' line.
I will be working on stuff for my next HypnoBirthing series, which starts in a couple of weeks, ordering books for my next classes which start in a couple of weeks, and figuring out how to pay for it all, which is on my mind constantly.
Sigh. I guess I should get my act together and get this day started.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Day 25
Let's see...yesterday actually turned out to be productive and not too difficult, after the original disappointment.
I did go to work for the morning, came home and ate lunch, which was the usual protocol stuff. Then I spent over two hours on my hands and knees scrubbing my bathrooms top to bottom. That felt good. I was sweating and figured I'd be sore today, but I was not.
I had my dinner, minus the fruit. I wasn't willing to risk an orange again, and I only have one apple I need to take for lunch today in case I don't get shopping, though that's on my list to do. That and scrubbing my kicthen/dining/foyer floors. I do have one a.m. appointment, and then two this afternoon/evening. I should be home by 7-7:30 pm and I'll set up for tomorrow nights class, since I'll barely have time to eat with a full day of appointments and not even an hour after I get home.
I only released .4 lb. today, so I was right...it likely will take me the rest of the week just to get back to where I was. Damn!
I will admit to childishly feeling like, "That's not fair! YOU can eat all kinds of stuff on protocol! I SHOULD be able to!" knowing that the fact simply is, I'm not able to. I hadn't tested the theory much up until now, but considering that's the way it is for me in life as I live it, it would be so here and I should have known it. I'm for real when clients say, "But when will I be able to eat xyz again?" and I tell them, "Maybe never. Or, you may come to discover that for you, IF you want something that bad, you have just know that you'll pay for it. That some people can eat that day in and day out, but for you one bite is like poison to your body. And you have to know that and base your decisions accordingly. It's not fair, it just is. And it doesn't matter if you 'used' to be able to eat that at some point in your life. Your body is constantly changing, and you are learning what your body needs NOW, not then, to stay fit. There may be some things you have to look at like an alcoholic looks at alcohol or a diabetic looks at sugar, and just say no."
And that's where I am. I'm actually discouraged enough that if it were an opportune time, or if I weren't so close to that line, I'd probably quit. But today is not the day to go off protocol, and I am still just over the line. And looking at my social life for the next week or more, I have an event at which I'll be less likely to lose ground if I know I CAN'T have anything to eat or drink than if I can say to myself, "Well, it's just a little early...I can do that." So for that reason alone, I think I'll make it next weekend that I'll plan to stop. It will be pretty darn close to the 40 day mark, so it looks like essentially, I'm sticking it out.
Later-
This morning, someone told me I was going to blow away if the breeze kicked up, and asked me if I was "trying to lose all that weight". I said, 'Yep. When you figure out what was broke it's easy to fix. But I'm almost done.' That last part added because I figured she must have asked because I looked sick or something, but then did added that I was looking good, so maybe not. When I told someone about it at work they said I don't look sick, so that's reassuring, because she's not the first person to ask if I was losing weight so fast because I wanted to.
I did decide that I'm going to keep going with the remaining hCG and syringes I have left. When they are gone, I'm done, no matter where I am. That will take me just past a social event I have to attend, which is good. If I still have hCG in my system, stuff is much easier to resist, especially since I'm really clear on how far back that would set me at the moment. I'm not so sure I wouldn't find a way to justify that glass of wine or a yummy munchie if I were on stabilization, and that's where I screwed up last time. I'm going to be meticulous about it
Pants are too big today. I just tried them on this weekend! The 'small' shirt I have on actually fits without pulling at the buttons...as long as I'm not sitting. Grr.
I'm not hungry. It's almost 11:30 am. I did have an apple a while ago, and I'm currently drinking cherry chocolate flavored coffee so I'm all good.
I did go to work for the morning, came home and ate lunch, which was the usual protocol stuff. Then I spent over two hours on my hands and knees scrubbing my bathrooms top to bottom. That felt good. I was sweating and figured I'd be sore today, but I was not.
I had my dinner, minus the fruit. I wasn't willing to risk an orange again, and I only have one apple I need to take for lunch today in case I don't get shopping, though that's on my list to do. That and scrubbing my kicthen/dining/foyer floors. I do have one a.m. appointment, and then two this afternoon/evening. I should be home by 7-7:30 pm and I'll set up for tomorrow nights class, since I'll barely have time to eat with a full day of appointments and not even an hour after I get home.
I only released .4 lb. today, so I was right...it likely will take me the rest of the week just to get back to where I was. Damn!
I will admit to childishly feeling like, "That's not fair! YOU can eat all kinds of stuff on protocol! I SHOULD be able to!" knowing that the fact simply is, I'm not able to. I hadn't tested the theory much up until now, but considering that's the way it is for me in life as I live it, it would be so here and I should have known it. I'm for real when clients say, "But when will I be able to eat xyz again?" and I tell them, "Maybe never. Or, you may come to discover that for you, IF you want something that bad, you have just know that you'll pay for it. That some people can eat that day in and day out, but for you one bite is like poison to your body. And you have to know that and base your decisions accordingly. It's not fair, it just is. And it doesn't matter if you 'used' to be able to eat that at some point in your life. Your body is constantly changing, and you are learning what your body needs NOW, not then, to stay fit. There may be some things you have to look at like an alcoholic looks at alcohol or a diabetic looks at sugar, and just say no."
And that's where I am. I'm actually discouraged enough that if it were an opportune time, or if I weren't so close to that line, I'd probably quit. But today is not the day to go off protocol, and I am still just over the line. And looking at my social life for the next week or more, I have an event at which I'll be less likely to lose ground if I know I CAN'T have anything to eat or drink than if I can say to myself, "Well, it's just a little early...I can do that." So for that reason alone, I think I'll make it next weekend that I'll plan to stop. It will be pretty darn close to the 40 day mark, so it looks like essentially, I'm sticking it out.
Later-
This morning, someone told me I was going to blow away if the breeze kicked up, and asked me if I was "trying to lose all that weight". I said, 'Yep. When you figure out what was broke it's easy to fix. But I'm almost done.' That last part added because I figured she must have asked because I looked sick or something, but then did added that I was looking good, so maybe not. When I told someone about it at work they said I don't look sick, so that's reassuring, because she's not the first person to ask if I was losing weight so fast because I wanted to.
I did decide that I'm going to keep going with the remaining hCG and syringes I have left. When they are gone, I'm done, no matter where I am. That will take me just past a social event I have to attend, which is good. If I still have hCG in my system, stuff is much easier to resist, especially since I'm really clear on how far back that would set me at the moment. I'm not so sure I wouldn't find a way to justify that glass of wine or a yummy munchie if I were on stabilization, and that's where I screwed up last time. I'm going to be meticulous about it
Pants are too big today. I just tried them on this weekend! The 'small' shirt I have on actually fits without pulling at the buttons...as long as I'm not sitting. Grr.
I'm not hungry. It's almost 11:30 am. I did have an apple a while ago, and I'm currently drinking cherry chocolate flavored coffee so I'm all good.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Day 24
I don't know how some people 'cheat' and get away with it. I've read on lists recently, and talked to people, who have eaten totally off protocol, either with foods or wine, and still lost weight. Me, I have crappy day, eat stuff that's been ok before, and gain.
As recorded yesterday, I was feeling punky. Not sick exactly, but tired and like I might have been exposed to something I wanted to nip in the bud. Or, I might have just been whipped from nearly two weeks of PMS and the period from hell. I don't know. I just didn't feel great.
I was hungry too, and craving something like toast or cupcakes or a peanut butter sandwich. It wasn't as much of a desire for a specific food, but more like a texture. I decided macadamia nuts were better than actually eating something really off protocol. It did nothing. I had coffee, which upset my stomach. I had more water; still hungry and getting a bit of a headache.
So I had dinner. Chicken, lettuce, melba and while I was going to skip the fruit to mitigate the macs, I was still hungry, so I had the orange.
My mouth felt much better (that orange was bliss!) but after about an hour, hungry again! More water did nothing, decaf just tasted icky. I decided to just remove myself from the situation. I took a hot bath.
But even in the bath I was distracted and hungry, as in my tummy hurt hungry. I would have just went to bed, but it was only like 7:30 pm. I wasn't watching TV or getting any outside prompts to eat. No one was here making good food with smells that were driving me crazy. I had plenty to do (though I didn't feel much like doing anything) so I wasn't bored. There was nothing particularly yummy in my kitchen calling my name.
I decided I really must be hungry, or it was a period craving, but I refused to cave to the 'want' for something like bread. I decided the only safe options were things that had been ok before, so I had another handful of macs and a couple of quarter sized pieces of coco-delite.
Of course, that's not what my body wanted, but I refused to give in. Instead, I did go to bed by 8:30 pm. I slept like a rock and was loathe to get up this morning, but we didn't get 'Blizzard Doug' that I can tell, so I have to go to work.
And now I'm crabby besides, because while I ultimately probably ate double my 500 calories and should have expected what I got, I'm PISSED that I gained 1.1 lb.!
I was so close to crossing over that line, and now it's probably going to take me the rest of the week to just recoup. I have NEVER in the year I've been doing this 'cheated' in that I've binged or eaten forbidden foods like oils, starches, or sugars or even an extra fruit. Those two things are the only things I've ever allowed, in small amounts, in unusual situations. This time, having NEVER felt such a strong pull in this whole year, I allowed myself one quarter sized extra of the chocolate and an extra handful of nuts...and gained over a lb. overnight. It sucks.
Dave gained a lb. too, but he got to eat a whole meal out at a restaurant. I didn't even get to have anything fun for my gain!
I only have 10 syringes left, so I was sort of thinking when they are gone, I'm done. It's obvious my hCG is working just fine...if it weren't I wouldn't have gained so easily on so few extra calories. I guess I'll see if it takes me that long to get rid of this gain.
And I still feel like crap and wish I could spend the day in bed. But I can't. So I'm off.
As recorded yesterday, I was feeling punky. Not sick exactly, but tired and like I might have been exposed to something I wanted to nip in the bud. Or, I might have just been whipped from nearly two weeks of PMS and the period from hell. I don't know. I just didn't feel great.
I was hungry too, and craving something like toast or cupcakes or a peanut butter sandwich. It wasn't as much of a desire for a specific food, but more like a texture. I decided macadamia nuts were better than actually eating something really off protocol. It did nothing. I had coffee, which upset my stomach. I had more water; still hungry and getting a bit of a headache.
So I had dinner. Chicken, lettuce, melba and while I was going to skip the fruit to mitigate the macs, I was still hungry, so I had the orange.
My mouth felt much better (that orange was bliss!) but after about an hour, hungry again! More water did nothing, decaf just tasted icky. I decided to just remove myself from the situation. I took a hot bath.
But even in the bath I was distracted and hungry, as in my tummy hurt hungry. I would have just went to bed, but it was only like 7:30 pm. I wasn't watching TV or getting any outside prompts to eat. No one was here making good food with smells that were driving me crazy. I had plenty to do (though I didn't feel much like doing anything) so I wasn't bored. There was nothing particularly yummy in my kitchen calling my name.
I decided I really must be hungry, or it was a period craving, but I refused to cave to the 'want' for something like bread. I decided the only safe options were things that had been ok before, so I had another handful of macs and a couple of quarter sized pieces of coco-delite.
Of course, that's not what my body wanted, but I refused to give in. Instead, I did go to bed by 8:30 pm. I slept like a rock and was loathe to get up this morning, but we didn't get 'Blizzard Doug' that I can tell, so I have to go to work.
And now I'm crabby besides, because while I ultimately probably ate double my 500 calories and should have expected what I got, I'm PISSED that I gained 1.1 lb.!
I was so close to crossing over that line, and now it's probably going to take me the rest of the week to just recoup. I have NEVER in the year I've been doing this 'cheated' in that I've binged or eaten forbidden foods like oils, starches, or sugars or even an extra fruit. Those two things are the only things I've ever allowed, in small amounts, in unusual situations. This time, having NEVER felt such a strong pull in this whole year, I allowed myself one quarter sized extra of the chocolate and an extra handful of nuts...and gained over a lb. overnight. It sucks.
Dave gained a lb. too, but he got to eat a whole meal out at a restaurant. I didn't even get to have anything fun for my gain!
I only have 10 syringes left, so I was sort of thinking when they are gone, I'm done. It's obvious my hCG is working just fine...if it weren't I wouldn't have gained so easily on so few extra calories. I guess I'll see if it takes me that long to get rid of this gain.
And I still feel like crap and wish I could spend the day in bed. But I can't. So I'm off.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Day 23
Finally! Down .9 lb.!
It's not over 'till it's over though, and I can tell it's not over. I went to bed early with a heating pad (girls know what I mean) and I wish I were still there instead of going to work. But it's a short day, so we'll see if I can catch some zzz's with a hot pad or a hot bath later. I was chilly also, but a hot bath fixed that. The heating pad was location specific.
BTW, a friend who is a massage therapist and on protocol and tried some different products and says that the oil is not holding her up a bit.
Also, my DH traveled all week last week and could tell he was gaining from being on his butt all day driving, in meetings and eating out (although he logged almost 15 miles on hotel treadmills). He came home and weighed in...5 lbs. up. He exercised, slept in his own bed and ate normal all weekend...lost 8 lb. in 3 days. This is what I have lived with for 25 years. Is it any wonder I was freakin' depressed??? He did protocol ONCE 5 months ago and it reset his body to the point where it works like it always did once again.
A new study just out: Vitamin D triples weight loss in those on very low calories diets. I stopped all vitamins ala Simeons...I have throughout each 'round'....I think. I may not have with the last round, and I usually do take D. Anyway, this may be one of those things on which new information sheds some light. So, I'm adding back my vit. D, magnesium/calcium and potassium. I'll wait on some of the other ones, but these may be helpful. As usual, I don't mind being a test subject.
Another thought I had, and I guess I won't know for a week or two, but since I'm only about 10-12 lb. away from my goal, I wondered if perhaps this round is harder and slower because my body is actually close to where it is supposed to be, but perhaps I have 10-12 lb. of skin that just needs to be sloughed off.
Now, this program doesn't leave sheets of skin like other situations where you evict the equivalent of a small person from your body. It is loose, and the stretch marks are scars, so they are there to stay. Everything shrunk up pretty tight so far, leaving very little in the say of sag...but everything is a little loose. It's like wearing a skin just one size too big. This is more obvious in the tub (close your eyes if this is TMI) where gravity no longer is a factor. I have a completely different contour. I likewise notice it with inverted postures in yoga. Stuff shifts.
In my clothes, especially in 'support garments' I look probably really close to where I should be. So, I just wondered if that's what's going on. Maybe it was just the period and it will all be over tomorrow and I'll continue on another 10 lb. Who knows? But if not, I'm thinking that over the course of months, as I ex-foliate and the dead skin cells are removed, and the new skin cells form over a much smaller body, (except for those stretch marks) this skin/weight might gradually disappear too.
Later-
Had my lunch before noon. I've not had that nap yet, nor a hot bath. I have much to do around the house as I will have a class here this week, but won't be home beforehand to clean and prepare, so I have to do it in advance. The thing is, I'm wiped out...still tired from last night. So, I think I'll do the tub with some Epsom salts and see how I feel after that and perhaps that nap. It think two periods in one month means I deserve some pampering and that's the closest think I have to a spa.
It's not over 'till it's over though, and I can tell it's not over. I went to bed early with a heating pad (girls know what I mean) and I wish I were still there instead of going to work. But it's a short day, so we'll see if I can catch some zzz's with a hot pad or a hot bath later. I was chilly also, but a hot bath fixed that. The heating pad was location specific.
BTW, a friend who is a massage therapist and on protocol and tried some different products and says that the oil is not holding her up a bit.
Also, my DH traveled all week last week and could tell he was gaining from being on his butt all day driving, in meetings and eating out (although he logged almost 15 miles on hotel treadmills). He came home and weighed in...5 lbs. up. He exercised, slept in his own bed and ate normal all weekend...lost 8 lb. in 3 days. This is what I have lived with for 25 years. Is it any wonder I was freakin' depressed??? He did protocol ONCE 5 months ago and it reset his body to the point where it works like it always did once again.
A new study just out: Vitamin D triples weight loss in those on very low calories diets. I stopped all vitamins ala Simeons...I have throughout each 'round'....I think. I may not have with the last round, and I usually do take D. Anyway, this may be one of those things on which new information sheds some light. So, I'm adding back my vit. D, magnesium/calcium and potassium. I'll wait on some of the other ones, but these may be helpful. As usual, I don't mind being a test subject.
Another thought I had, and I guess I won't know for a week or two, but since I'm only about 10-12 lb. away from my goal, I wondered if perhaps this round is harder and slower because my body is actually close to where it is supposed to be, but perhaps I have 10-12 lb. of skin that just needs to be sloughed off.
Now, this program doesn't leave sheets of skin like other situations where you evict the equivalent of a small person from your body. It is loose, and the stretch marks are scars, so they are there to stay. Everything shrunk up pretty tight so far, leaving very little in the say of sag...but everything is a little loose. It's like wearing a skin just one size too big. This is more obvious in the tub (close your eyes if this is TMI) where gravity no longer is a factor. I have a completely different contour. I likewise notice it with inverted postures in yoga. Stuff shifts.
In my clothes, especially in 'support garments' I look probably really close to where I should be. So, I just wondered if that's what's going on. Maybe it was just the period and it will all be over tomorrow and I'll continue on another 10 lb. Who knows? But if not, I'm thinking that over the course of months, as I ex-foliate and the dead skin cells are removed, and the new skin cells form over a much smaller body, (except for those stretch marks) this skin/weight might gradually disappear too.
Later-
Had my lunch before noon. I've not had that nap yet, nor a hot bath. I have much to do around the house as I will have a class here this week, but won't be home beforehand to clean and prepare, so I have to do it in advance. The thing is, I'm wiped out...still tired from last night. So, I think I'll do the tub with some Epsom salts and see how I feel after that and perhaps that nap. It think two periods in one month means I deserve some pampering and that's the closest think I have to a spa.
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