Ok, no more steak for dinner, even at 100g!
It was another -.2 day, and that was with no melba. I'm STILL not under that line on the Wii that will deem me 'normal'. Those 120s are still as elusive as ever.
It wasn't a bad day as far as hunger or anything. It's just that moving in on a month here, with not quite 15 lb. down (and 5 of those 'loading' weight) I'm getting quite discouraged.
And I timed this so carefully so that my period would not interfere. I started a couple of weeks earlier than I probably should have because I had just finished a period, and if I waited until after the next one, I would have been on protocol at times I didn't really want to be. So it was start 2-3 weeks early, or 2-3 weeks late...and I chose early. And one reason was so I wouldn't have a period to mess up my progress for the first month of the protocol. Then I get a 'bonus' one just two weeks later. Yay me!
Yes, I am exceedingly discouraged. This may very well be where my body wants to be, but it is NOT where I want to be. Yes, I can get used to it. I'm just pissed right now. Tomorrow has got to be better. I do have the cramps now instead of the PMS stuff, and I did drink some Smooth Move tea and plan to have one more (which, after two days of steak will hopeful be helpful at some point today).
And not that it has to do with much, but today is a 'skip day'. No hCG for me, but everything else is the same as it has been for the last 3 weeks.
Tomorrow has GOT to be better.
Later-
I didn't have to wait for tomorrow. Today got better!
I was feeling tired, discouraged, cold and a little hungry. I decided to take a hot bath and feel sorry for myself, but honestly I suddenly felt smaller. I know...bizarre. But I almost felt like a deflated balloon. So, I tried on some clothes.
The results were bittersweet. I tried on yet another dress that I'd saved for 20 years, just waiting for the occasion to wear it again and have it fit. It was so big, there is no way I can even alter it. Two other dresses were the same, and one outfit. One pair of pants that still had tags on them...too big.
However, I did fit INTO several things that had been too small, and they are size 6! Still not at the size 5, but that's ok. I have some alterations to make now because my pants are too long.
I'm now encouraged. It's a good thing that this stuff happens because when the scale is depressing, the clothes are reassuring, and visa versa.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Day 21
Another -.2 day. Bummer. That makes it only like -2 or -2.5 for the week. Hardly better than I could do on any other program.
Yes, it's discouraging. This tiny amount didn't bump me over that line on my Wii yet, nor am I down in the 120s yet, where I'd like to be before I give up. It's been 21 days. I could give up. I've done the minimum. Frankly, if I have another week like this, I'd probably consider it. But I can't just yet. There is still the consideration of the TOM that constantly threatens but never starts, and that we had steak last night and I still dropped a little, no matter how little it was. There is a big drop just around the corner. I know there is. I've known people to have a week like this, or even a zero week, and then have a big drop of two or three lbs. in one day. I'll keep going. I'll take some measurements today too. Maybe I'll drop the melba for a couple of days.
I will admit, the idea of an apple day crossed my mind, even though I tell people not to do that to themselves unless they have 3 or 4 days of a stall, which I did not have. I dismissed it, but it was there, since I'm being all 'high disclosure'. I am frustrated and disappointed with the week's total.
Then I get on one of the support lists and I read,
And I know I just have to keep on keepin' on.
Later-
Today's been ok. Got a lot done it seems like. Haven't eaten since before we went and did errands around noon. I'm getting hungry, but Dave is at the grill. We'll be doing the same thing as last night just because we got a deal on the steak, but he's also making me up some chicken for the week while he's at the grill.
I had strawberries for breakfast and chicken on lettuce for lunch, with a little Walden Farms French dressing. No melba. Lots of water and another couple of cups of coffee throughout the day.
I'm about to get some Wii in, and then we'll have our family TV for the night, catching up on Chelsea and Dave's fav show that DVR has been patiently holding for us.
Yes, it's discouraging. This tiny amount didn't bump me over that line on my Wii yet, nor am I down in the 120s yet, where I'd like to be before I give up. It's been 21 days. I could give up. I've done the minimum. Frankly, if I have another week like this, I'd probably consider it. But I can't just yet. There is still the consideration of the TOM that constantly threatens but never starts, and that we had steak last night and I still dropped a little, no matter how little it was. There is a big drop just around the corner. I know there is. I've known people to have a week like this, or even a zero week, and then have a big drop of two or three lbs. in one day. I'll keep going. I'll take some measurements today too. Maybe I'll drop the melba for a couple of days.
I will admit, the idea of an apple day crossed my mind, even though I tell people not to do that to themselves unless they have 3 or 4 days of a stall, which I did not have. I dismissed it, but it was there, since I'm being all 'high disclosure'. I am frustrated and disappointed with the week's total.
Then I get on one of the support lists and I read,
"I think my 'stall' is over!!!! I was 158 for almost 8 days :( I must admit I was beginning to lose faith in this! Then I stepped on the scale this morning...and weighed in at 155!"
And I know I just have to keep on keepin' on.
Later-
Today's been ok. Got a lot done it seems like. Haven't eaten since before we went and did errands around noon. I'm getting hungry, but Dave is at the grill. We'll be doing the same thing as last night just because we got a deal on the steak, but he's also making me up some chicken for the week while he's at the grill.
I had strawberries for breakfast and chicken on lettuce for lunch, with a little Walden Farms French dressing. No melba. Lots of water and another couple of cups of coffee throughout the day.
I'm about to get some Wii in, and then we'll have our family TV for the night, catching up on Chelsea and Dave's fav show that DVR has been patiently holding for us.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Day 20
Starting off good as far as how I feel...rested and ready to take on the day! It was only a -.2 day, but that's not too concerning considering how far into this I am right now (around the third week, it slows down and becomes erratic) and the variable of the early TOM that still just won't start and be done so I can move ON!
I've made note of the variables I've incorporated into my own protocol after doing it FIVE TIMES over the course of a year. I do these things after having done the protocol 3 times just exactly as it is in Pounds & Inches, and with full awareness and responsibility. I don't tell my clients about stuff like this unless I see them really struggling with physical issues of true hunger, or unless their body really seems to need it because frankly, in the first round, especially early in the first couple of weeks, you need to learn the difference between a 'want' and a 'need' and it is too easy to justify a 'want' and convince yourself it's a 'need'.
Also please note I do not call these variables 'cheating'. There is NO cheating on this program! If you think of these variables as 'cheating' it makes it far too easy to justify cheating in general.
6-10 macadamia nuts(a small handful) or 2 tsp. of chocolate delight in response to a physical need due to excess exertion or a blood sugar swing due to hormones is one thing...adding it in the first week or in the absence of a physical variable may just make the protocol harder. I don't know. I didn't do it until the last two rounds. I've allowed myself to be a human guinea pig on number of counts. That doesn't mean it will be helpful for other people to screw around with the protocol. I really, really want this to work for everyone as well as it worked for me, but I can't tell you for sure if it would have worked as well as it did if I'd done the stuff I do now when I first started.
Case in point...I just had someone this week who tried a tsp. of coconut oil on her skin because it was cracking and bleeding and the suggested remedies from Dr. Simeons weren't working. She hadn't tried other oil-free alternatives we have that Dr. Simeons wouldn't have had in the 50's (or even 70s) because they had chemicals in them. She wanted all natural. ONE TSP. of coconut oil on her skin caused her to gain 2 lb. Just because it worked for me once doesn't mean it will work for everyone. Heck, just because it worked for me once doesn't mean it will work for me every time. She now has to choose between oil-free moisturizer with chemicals, cracked skin, or wasting days worth of 500 calorie meals.
She's probably a month into the program. What if she were in the first week or two? Might she she decide this program 'doesn't work'? I tell my HypnoBirthing clients who come in and take the class but don't do the work that the class isn't magic, and paying me money does not create their birth experience: doing the work does. Granted, there are instances when chocolate delight makes the difference between eating regular chocolate with sugar (which WILL set you back days) or eating something that MIGHT set you back for days. And, BTW, I've talked to enough women about this that I'm convinced it's not just any sweet women want...it's something in the chocolate; magnesium to be specific...
I know even women who aren't that crazy about chocolate normally want it during their period. So, if it's going to keep someone from blowing the whole thing, yes, it's worth it.
However, it's not a good idea to try to figure out ways to change the program until you KNOW how it works for you just the way it is. The magic is not in the hCG...it only makes the hard part of maintaining 500 calories doable because it helps you draw off the adipose fat. But the hypothalamus creates set points by reacting to blood sugar levels and the intake of fats. If you mess with the levels he so carefully figured would result from the foods he chose, over 30 years of tinkering, you do so at your own risk and may just lessen the efficacy.
Later-
My honey is home and grilled up a fantastic meal of asparagus and steak. I had the melba and I had a handful of strawberries with chocolate stevia.
For lunch, I split it up because of my schedule. I had the apple around 10:30 am, chicken and melba around 12:30 pm, and cuke slices around 2 pm. I had coffee with stevia all morning. What I wouldn't give for cream in my coffee! I miss it. And as I've said before, a nice glass of red wine would be nice once or twice a week. But, I am currently drinking my decaf and then I'll be drinking water for the rest of the night.
Shopping was hard tonight. I went before dinner. 'Never go hungry' is our motto, and we did. My meals for the week will be the same as they have been, but I may substitute oranges for the grapefruit. I know people who must substitute (because they take meds that can't be mixed with grapefruit) who do just fine. If I have 3 more weeks of this, I may need the variety.
To put this in perspective, in the last (approximately) 350 days, I've spent 167 of them on protocol. The rest of those days (except for 11 days total 'loading') I have spend on stabilization (no sugar, no starch) or maintenance (limited sugar and starch).
Now, frankly, I'm hunky-dory just hanging out in stabilization and maintenance most of the time. Because I so strictly adhered to the protocol part, I no longer want sugar or bread (not even bagels!) most of the time. I'm really, really choosy about both. If it's not high quality and a worthy reason, I'll skip it. Even my favorite restaurant foods sometimes don't taste as good as I remember them. But in order to change the taste buds, 'shrink' the stomach and get rid of systemic Candida imbalances (not to mention resetting the hypothalamus and regulating insulin response) the PROTOCOL must be followed as much as possible and more importantly, the new set point then has to be locked in. Otherwise, the weight will come back.
I can tell you when I've thought I could get away with something, I usually regretted it. The macs and the chocolate delight usually are ok for me, but not always. And I don't know what the oranges will do. We'll see.
Part of my blogging this is so that people learn from my mistakes...not repeat them.
Am I losing slower this time because I'm closer to my goal? Or because I've used the macs? Or because I started out without 'loading' (essentially) when the first hCG was discovered to be no good. I don't know. If anyone sees a pattern, let me know.
I can't say it often enough or emphatically enough: If the emotional responses to food are not broken; if the social associations with food are not broken; if the ritualistic aspects of food are not changed...the weight that comes off with this method WILL COME BACK. The protocol is a fresh start, it isn't magic. It removes and repairs some of the physical obstacles to getting rid of the fat, but it can't touch emotional and spiritual healing that may need to take place. This is a body/mind/soul issue, and it must be approached that way. Dr. Simeons was a saint, but his work only opens the door for us to walk through.
I've made note of the variables I've incorporated into my own protocol after doing it FIVE TIMES over the course of a year. I do these things after having done the protocol 3 times just exactly as it is in Pounds & Inches, and with full awareness and responsibility. I don't tell my clients about stuff like this unless I see them really struggling with physical issues of true hunger, or unless their body really seems to need it because frankly, in the first round, especially early in the first couple of weeks, you need to learn the difference between a 'want' and a 'need' and it is too easy to justify a 'want' and convince yourself it's a 'need'.
Also please note I do not call these variables 'cheating'. There is NO cheating on this program! If you think of these variables as 'cheating' it makes it far too easy to justify cheating in general.
6-10 macadamia nuts(a small handful) or 2 tsp. of chocolate delight in response to a physical need due to excess exertion or a blood sugar swing due to hormones is one thing...adding it in the first week or in the absence of a physical variable may just make the protocol harder. I don't know. I didn't do it until the last two rounds. I've allowed myself to be a human guinea pig on number of counts. That doesn't mean it will be helpful for other people to screw around with the protocol. I really, really want this to work for everyone as well as it worked for me, but I can't tell you for sure if it would have worked as well as it did if I'd done the stuff I do now when I first started.
Case in point...I just had someone this week who tried a tsp. of coconut oil on her skin because it was cracking and bleeding and the suggested remedies from Dr. Simeons weren't working. She hadn't tried other oil-free alternatives we have that Dr. Simeons wouldn't have had in the 50's (or even 70s) because they had chemicals in them. She wanted all natural. ONE TSP. of coconut oil on her skin caused her to gain 2 lb. Just because it worked for me once doesn't mean it will work for everyone. Heck, just because it worked for me once doesn't mean it will work for me every time. She now has to choose between oil-free moisturizer with chemicals, cracked skin, or wasting days worth of 500 calorie meals.
She's probably a month into the program. What if she were in the first week or two? Might she she decide this program 'doesn't work'? I tell my HypnoBirthing clients who come in and take the class but don't do the work that the class isn't magic, and paying me money does not create their birth experience: doing the work does. Granted, there are instances when chocolate delight makes the difference between eating regular chocolate with sugar (which WILL set you back days) or eating something that MIGHT set you back for days. And, BTW, I've talked to enough women about this that I'm convinced it's not just any sweet women want...it's something in the chocolate; magnesium to be specific...
Women seem to be more prone to chocolate cravings than men. The Diabetes Association report found that only 15 percent of males appear to crave chocolate, as much as 40 percent of women do - and 75 percent of them claim that absolutely nothing other than chocolate can satisfy their appetite.
Because chocolate cravings may be influenced by a deficiency in magnesium, that this may be why some experience an increase in chocolate cravings during PMS.
I know even women who aren't that crazy about chocolate normally want it during their period. So, if it's going to keep someone from blowing the whole thing, yes, it's worth it.
However, it's not a good idea to try to figure out ways to change the program until you KNOW how it works for you just the way it is. The magic is not in the hCG...it only makes the hard part of maintaining 500 calories doable because it helps you draw off the adipose fat. But the hypothalamus creates set points by reacting to blood sugar levels and the intake of fats. If you mess with the levels he so carefully figured would result from the foods he chose, over 30 years of tinkering, you do so at your own risk and may just lessen the efficacy.
Later-
My honey is home and grilled up a fantastic meal of asparagus and steak. I had the melba and I had a handful of strawberries with chocolate stevia.
For lunch, I split it up because of my schedule. I had the apple around 10:30 am, chicken and melba around 12:30 pm, and cuke slices around 2 pm. I had coffee with stevia all morning. What I wouldn't give for cream in my coffee! I miss it. And as I've said before, a nice glass of red wine would be nice once or twice a week. But, I am currently drinking my decaf and then I'll be drinking water for the rest of the night.
Shopping was hard tonight. I went before dinner. 'Never go hungry' is our motto, and we did. My meals for the week will be the same as they have been, but I may substitute oranges for the grapefruit. I know people who must substitute (because they take meds that can't be mixed with grapefruit) who do just fine. If I have 3 more weeks of this, I may need the variety.
To put this in perspective, in the last (approximately) 350 days, I've spent 167 of them on protocol. The rest of those days (except for 11 days total 'loading') I have spend on stabilization (no sugar, no starch) or maintenance (limited sugar and starch).
Now, frankly, I'm hunky-dory just hanging out in stabilization and maintenance most of the time. Because I so strictly adhered to the protocol part, I no longer want sugar or bread (not even bagels!) most of the time. I'm really, really choosy about both. If it's not high quality and a worthy reason, I'll skip it. Even my favorite restaurant foods sometimes don't taste as good as I remember them. But in order to change the taste buds, 'shrink' the stomach and get rid of systemic Candida imbalances (not to mention resetting the hypothalamus and regulating insulin response) the PROTOCOL must be followed as much as possible and more importantly, the new set point then has to be locked in. Otherwise, the weight will come back.
I can tell you when I've thought I could get away with something, I usually regretted it. The macs and the chocolate delight usually are ok for me, but not always. And I don't know what the oranges will do. We'll see.
Part of my blogging this is so that people learn from my mistakes...not repeat them.
Am I losing slower this time because I'm closer to my goal? Or because I've used the macs? Or because I started out without 'loading' (essentially) when the first hCG was discovered to be no good. I don't know. If anyone sees a pattern, let me know.
I can't say it often enough or emphatically enough: If the emotional responses to food are not broken; if the social associations with food are not broken; if the ritualistic aspects of food are not changed...the weight that comes off with this method WILL COME BACK. The protocol is a fresh start, it isn't magic. It removes and repairs some of the physical obstacles to getting rid of the fat, but it can't touch emotional and spiritual healing that may need to take place. This is a body/mind/soul issue, and it must be approached that way. Dr. Simeons was a saint, but his work only opens the door for us to walk through.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day 19
Down .4 of a lb. today. I sort of expected more this time actually. It just goes to show that having NO expectations is probably the best attitude to have.
The reason I thought it would be more is that while I still have the breast tenderness/PMS type feeling, I also feel smaller, which is hard to explain. I should have taken my measurements. I will this weekend and compare to the last time I took them. My clothes are bigger, though I've not found any big enough that I have to put them in the Goodwill box since the last batch I spoke of here. I'm seeing more definition on my body, though those stubborn muscles are still hiding.
My last appointment ended up getting rescheduled, so I came home, ate, and took a hot bath to warm up. I got the balance perfect this time. I didn't get too warm so that I was dizzy after the bath. I kept the room cool, I took a bottle of cool water in with me and replenished as I started to sweat, and got out before I was uncomfortably hot. I also didn't get in when it was super hot (like hot tub hot)...just sort of hot (like maybe 101).
I took the heating pad to bed again, but didn't need it, I turned it off because I continued to sweat. In fact, I did all night. Which was weird.
I was just telling someone recently that during this round I have been colder (though my temp is fine) and have experienced more blood sugar issues where I need to add a few macs than any other round. I don't know if that is because I am getting so close to where my body wants to be, or if there is some perimenopausal thing going on. I say that because of the sweating last night.
Some people will assume that anything that happens while they are doing this program, or immediately following, is because of the hCG. In the amounts used, that is highly unlikely. Most often, people end up encountering the flu at just the wrong time, or because of the low fat, low calorie nature of the food intake, if they are boarder-line with some health issue that is impacted by fats and/or sugars, that issue will make itself known.
I've had night sweats before. I've never had them in the winter when I'm trying to keep the bed warm all by myself, and I've not (until now) had them on protocol. I've never paid attention to my blood sugar or how food made me feel until this program. Last time I was this small, I would bet I was still eating crap (when I was eating at all), partying heavily and working in a toxic environment. Besides the physical toxins that might have been stored in fat, there is the emotional toxic waste that is stored. Some people very consciously work through stuff like that. Some of us have physical manifestations of detoxification as we release stuff. As long as it is transient and not scary, I'm ok with just letting it pass. If I felt it were serious, or if it didn't resolve in a few days, I'd see someone. If I can handle it on my own though a few protocol modifications and journaling, I do that.
I have to say that I'm very excited about being so close to that 'normal' line on the Wii! One good drop of 1 or 2 lbs. will put me under it. It could take all next week if I keep having these zeros or .4 days, but that will be my next-to-the-last milestone, and knowing my body is in charge and not my head, it may be the last one I reach. I hope for 10-15 after that, but won't be crushed if I don't get there. I do want to be comfortably below that line so I can stay there forever. That is very much in sight now.
Later-
I was too busy to worry much about food today. There was no need to fall back on macs. Makes me wonder about my interpretation of the hunger. Do I just think I'm hungry when I'm home? Do I have an association with food and home? Do I have too much time on my hands (yeah, right) and mistake boredom for hunger? I'll have to journal.
Anyway, chicken, cukes, apple, melba for lunch. Dinner, apple, chicken, lettuce, melba. I thought about having some coffee now (it's just after 7 pm), but the bath and bed thing felt so good last night...except for having to get up and pee twice...I thought I'd do it again.
I tried on some 'small' shirts today, and they fit! They didn't look quite right with what I plan to wear to work tomorrow, but I did find one I liked. It's so weird to be able to put them on. Last time I tried I couldn't even get an arm in, and this time they fit! I didn't try pants. I'll do that this weekend.
The reason I thought it would be more is that while I still have the breast tenderness/PMS type feeling, I also feel smaller, which is hard to explain. I should have taken my measurements. I will this weekend and compare to the last time I took them. My clothes are bigger, though I've not found any big enough that I have to put them in the Goodwill box since the last batch I spoke of here. I'm seeing more definition on my body, though those stubborn muscles are still hiding.
My last appointment ended up getting rescheduled, so I came home, ate, and took a hot bath to warm up. I got the balance perfect this time. I didn't get too warm so that I was dizzy after the bath. I kept the room cool, I took a bottle of cool water in with me and replenished as I started to sweat, and got out before I was uncomfortably hot. I also didn't get in when it was super hot (like hot tub hot)...just sort of hot (like maybe 101).
I took the heating pad to bed again, but didn't need it, I turned it off because I continued to sweat. In fact, I did all night. Which was weird.
I was just telling someone recently that during this round I have been colder (though my temp is fine) and have experienced more blood sugar issues where I need to add a few macs than any other round. I don't know if that is because I am getting so close to where my body wants to be, or if there is some perimenopausal thing going on. I say that because of the sweating last night.
Some people will assume that anything that happens while they are doing this program, or immediately following, is because of the hCG. In the amounts used, that is highly unlikely. Most often, people end up encountering the flu at just the wrong time, or because of the low fat, low calorie nature of the food intake, if they are boarder-line with some health issue that is impacted by fats and/or sugars, that issue will make itself known.
I've had night sweats before. I've never had them in the winter when I'm trying to keep the bed warm all by myself, and I've not (until now) had them on protocol. I've never paid attention to my blood sugar or how food made me feel until this program. Last time I was this small, I would bet I was still eating crap (when I was eating at all), partying heavily and working in a toxic environment. Besides the physical toxins that might have been stored in fat, there is the emotional toxic waste that is stored. Some people very consciously work through stuff like that. Some of us have physical manifestations of detoxification as we release stuff. As long as it is transient and not scary, I'm ok with just letting it pass. If I felt it were serious, or if it didn't resolve in a few days, I'd see someone. If I can handle it on my own though a few protocol modifications and journaling, I do that.
I have to say that I'm very excited about being so close to that 'normal' line on the Wii! One good drop of 1 or 2 lbs. will put me under it. It could take all next week if I keep having these zeros or .4 days, but that will be my next-to-the-last milestone, and knowing my body is in charge and not my head, it may be the last one I reach. I hope for 10-15 after that, but won't be crushed if I don't get there. I do want to be comfortably below that line so I can stay there forever. That is very much in sight now.
Later-
I was too busy to worry much about food today. There was no need to fall back on macs. Makes me wonder about my interpretation of the hunger. Do I just think I'm hungry when I'm home? Do I have an association with food and home? Do I have too much time on my hands (yeah, right) and mistake boredom for hunger? I'll have to journal.
Anyway, chicken, cukes, apple, melba for lunch. Dinner, apple, chicken, lettuce, melba. I thought about having some coffee now (it's just after 7 pm), but the bath and bed thing felt so good last night...except for having to get up and pee twice...I thought I'd do it again.
I tried on some 'small' shirts today, and they fit! They didn't look quite right with what I plan to wear to work tomorrow, but I did find one I liked. It's so weird to be able to put them on. Last time I tried I couldn't even get an arm in, and this time they fit! I didn't try pants. I'll do that this weekend.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Day 18
Today was my first zero day. It was inevitable, but still a bummer. However, since I sort of actually expected a gain with the shoveling yesterday, I'm good with that. I haven't looked outside to see if I have to do it again today. It was snowing last night when I got home at like 10 pm.
I got to bed late last night too because I got on Facebook when I got home. I was too geeked to sleep, tired as I was. I had guests in class last night; two HypnoBirthing families to share their wonderful stories. It was really great o see them again!
But then this morning, I didn't want to get up! That's not abnormal for me. I really do like to stay up later and sleep in. But I know that when I wake up when my body wakes me up instead of when an alarm goes off, I do better with my weight.
Other variables I know could be messing with me (besides sore muscles, too little sleep and just that fact that I'm almost 3 weeks in where release tends to get inconsistent), leaving me a little annoyed but not concerned (woman's wisdom about to be shared...may be TMI for guys): breast tenderness continues and now there's spotting. Could be there will be nearly two weeks of this and I'll start on time, or it could be my cycle is just messed up and will come early. It feels like the latter. I know that can stall me for days...or even show up as gain...be cause there is usually a 3-5 lb. swing that leaves as quickly as it shows up.
Today, on the agenda, only have two appointments, spread way apart. In fact it's the first available appointment of the day, and the very last available appointment of the day. I have HypnoBirthing and hypnosis business to take care of today, as well as cleaning my house that's falling apart around me, and depending on what I find outside when I look, more shoveling. That's my exciting day. I'll eat the same things I've been eating. I may actually need to go shopping today if tomorrow looks too full to fit it in. I don't want to be caught without protocol food!
In fact, I should share what happened last night. Between the macs I had after shoveling, and the appetite suppressive qualities of exercise (note: I wasn't hungry after shoveling...I was shaky, wiggly and weak and would have had something a little sweet if I could have) I wasn't hungry when I had to go to class. Well, that and life got a little nuts between the time I came in from shoveling and the time I had to leave for class. My daughter (age 18) had been prescribed a medicine, but has never taken a pill. She was having issues. Then my sister called to share some news and I was on the phone with her at the same time. All the while, I'm changing my clothes, gathering teaching aids, loading my car, packing my dinner which I'd planned to eat before I left, but wasn't hungry for.
On the road, I decided that if I didn't eat then (almost 6 pm) I wouldn't have a chance until 9:30 pm, which I didn't want to do. That would surely show up as a gain. So I ate it in the car. My chicken was still frozen. Yuck. But I ate it even though I wasn't hungry so I wouldn't be starving later, and so I wouldn't eat right before bed.
3:30 pm
About an hour ago I was hit by a 'OMG I'm starving!' moment. I had a few macs, made some decaf and drank a bunch of water and I'm good now. I'm taking my apple and cuke slices with me for my last two appointments. I'll have my protein selection and my melba when I get home. I'm actually thinking may save the cukes for tomorrow and have chili tonight, now that I think about it.
I was so hungry at that point a little while ago that I was actually weak and nauseated and thought perhaps I should take my temp in case I was coming down with something. It hit me that hard and fast. Normal temp. I still think a hot bath tonight is a stellar idea, along with early bed. The next couple of days are pretty busy.
I got to bed late last night too because I got on Facebook when I got home. I was too geeked to sleep, tired as I was. I had guests in class last night; two HypnoBirthing families to share their wonderful stories. It was really great o see them again!
But then this morning, I didn't want to get up! That's not abnormal for me. I really do like to stay up later and sleep in. But I know that when I wake up when my body wakes me up instead of when an alarm goes off, I do better with my weight.
Other variables I know could be messing with me (besides sore muscles, too little sleep and just that fact that I'm almost 3 weeks in where release tends to get inconsistent), leaving me a little annoyed but not concerned (woman's wisdom about to be shared...may be TMI for guys): breast tenderness continues and now there's spotting. Could be there will be nearly two weeks of this and I'll start on time, or it could be my cycle is just messed up and will come early. It feels like the latter. I know that can stall me for days...or even show up as gain...be cause there is usually a 3-5 lb. swing that leaves as quickly as it shows up.
Today, on the agenda, only have two appointments, spread way apart. In fact it's the first available appointment of the day, and the very last available appointment of the day. I have HypnoBirthing and hypnosis business to take care of today, as well as cleaning my house that's falling apart around me, and depending on what I find outside when I look, more shoveling. That's my exciting day. I'll eat the same things I've been eating. I may actually need to go shopping today if tomorrow looks too full to fit it in. I don't want to be caught without protocol food!
In fact, I should share what happened last night. Between the macs I had after shoveling, and the appetite suppressive qualities of exercise (note: I wasn't hungry after shoveling...I was shaky, wiggly and weak and would have had something a little sweet if I could have) I wasn't hungry when I had to go to class. Well, that and life got a little nuts between the time I came in from shoveling and the time I had to leave for class. My daughter (age 18) had been prescribed a medicine, but has never taken a pill. She was having issues. Then my sister called to share some news and I was on the phone with her at the same time. All the while, I'm changing my clothes, gathering teaching aids, loading my car, packing my dinner which I'd planned to eat before I left, but wasn't hungry for.
On the road, I decided that if I didn't eat then (almost 6 pm) I wouldn't have a chance until 9:30 pm, which I didn't want to do. That would surely show up as a gain. So I ate it in the car. My chicken was still frozen. Yuck. But I ate it even though I wasn't hungry so I wouldn't be starving later, and so I wouldn't eat right before bed.
3:30 pm
About an hour ago I was hit by a 'OMG I'm starving!' moment. I had a few macs, made some decaf and drank a bunch of water and I'm good now. I'm taking my apple and cuke slices with me for my last two appointments. I'll have my protein selection and my melba when I get home. I'm actually thinking may save the cukes for tomorrow and have chili tonight, now that I think about it.
I was so hungry at that point a little while ago that I was actually weak and nauseated and thought perhaps I should take my temp in case I was coming down with something. It hit me that hard and fast. Normal temp. I still think a hot bath tonight is a stellar idea, along with early bed. The next couple of days are pretty busy.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Day 17
Last night I did no Wii or yoga or anything else. I watched a L & O, CSI marathon compliments of my DVR. My body and brain were just up for a drain.
I went to bed early because the night before I didn't sleep well. I was up a couple of times thanks to nature calling and interrupting my sleep. I tried to grab a nap during the day when I had a big enough break to come home, but that's when Chelsea and Pat came home and made my all time favorite comfort food...grilled cheese with garlic butter. It about drove me mad. I had 8 macs to shut my tummy up, even though I'd eaten just a few hours before.
Then I had my regular dinner, even though I was going to skip the fruit and/or the bread to make up the calories from the nuts. I even had a couple more bites of the choco-delight. That might slow some people down, but this time around it seems to be helping me.
So in all honesty, I expected to be more disappointed today than I was the day before. Lo and behold, I was back to a -.7 day! I actually don't think I'll complain about those any more. That's almost 5 lb. a week if I can keep that up. I'll take that.
I'm getting a little excited at how close to that 'normal'/'overweight' line I'm at on the Wii. That's been my goal for awhile, despite what my original thoughts were...just get far enough under that line that I can stay under it comfortably all the time. So, where ever 2-5 lb. under the line happens to be. I'm thinking that will be a solid size 5, somewhere near my original goal of 124. I could easily see that by Valentine's Day.
Since I went into this round vowing only to follow where my body leads, if it continues to be relatively easy after that, I'll keep going. If there are fits and starts or stalls, I'll give in to one apple day, but not stress if it doesn't work and just stop. But again, we'll have to see how I feel at the time and see what my body wants to do.
Later:
Speaking of following where my body leads...
I had to go out a shovel my corner lot and double driveway today. The snow was so wet that in low lying areas it was melted into slush. I was out there for over an hour, essentially doing heavy lifting and sweating until my muscles were wiggly. (It was either that or get fined by the city and pay their fee to have it done.)
I came in and had 10 macadamia nuts. I needed something with protein. I can already feel my muscles are sore, so tomorrow, that may show up as a 'gain'...but it really is the water that's in my muscles repairing damage caused by over exerting them. That is how muscle is built; you damage the muscle a little bit and when it repairs, new muscle is built.
So, I followed my body. No, these are not on protocol. I make an executive decision regarding my body, knowing that if you want the program to work, you follow the program. Period. If you want to tweak it, tweak it...just know that if you do it may or may not work, and take responsibility for it. Sometimes extenuating circumstances call for some critical thinking and assessment of viable alterations.
It's not the same as justifying 'cheating' with something so obviously not on the program that there is no justification. It's not the same as indulging emotional eating or quitting because there are some days it's hard...and make no mistake, while I still contend it's the easiest weight release I've ever experienced, there ARE days when it sucks eggs.
I went to bed early because the night before I didn't sleep well. I was up a couple of times thanks to nature calling and interrupting my sleep. I tried to grab a nap during the day when I had a big enough break to come home, but that's when Chelsea and Pat came home and made my all time favorite comfort food...grilled cheese with garlic butter. It about drove me mad. I had 8 macs to shut my tummy up, even though I'd eaten just a few hours before.
Then I had my regular dinner, even though I was going to skip the fruit and/or the bread to make up the calories from the nuts. I even had a couple more bites of the choco-delight. That might slow some people down, but this time around it seems to be helping me.
So in all honesty, I expected to be more disappointed today than I was the day before. Lo and behold, I was back to a -.7 day! I actually don't think I'll complain about those any more. That's almost 5 lb. a week if I can keep that up. I'll take that.
I'm getting a little excited at how close to that 'normal'/'overweight' line I'm at on the Wii. That's been my goal for awhile, despite what my original thoughts were...just get far enough under that line that I can stay under it comfortably all the time. So, where ever 2-5 lb. under the line happens to be. I'm thinking that will be a solid size 5, somewhere near my original goal of 124. I could easily see that by Valentine's Day.
Since I went into this round vowing only to follow where my body leads, if it continues to be relatively easy after that, I'll keep going. If there are fits and starts or stalls, I'll give in to one apple day, but not stress if it doesn't work and just stop. But again, we'll have to see how I feel at the time and see what my body wants to do.
Later:
Speaking of following where my body leads...
I had to go out a shovel my corner lot and double driveway today. The snow was so wet that in low lying areas it was melted into slush. I was out there for over an hour, essentially doing heavy lifting and sweating until my muscles were wiggly. (It was either that or get fined by the city and pay their fee to have it done.)
I came in and had 10 macadamia nuts. I needed something with protein. I can already feel my muscles are sore, so tomorrow, that may show up as a 'gain'...but it really is the water that's in my muscles repairing damage caused by over exerting them. That is how muscle is built; you damage the muscle a little bit and when it repairs, new muscle is built.
So, I followed my body. No, these are not on protocol. I make an executive decision regarding my body, knowing that if you want the program to work, you follow the program. Period. If you want to tweak it, tweak it...just know that if you do it may or may not work, and take responsibility for it. Sometimes extenuating circumstances call for some critical thinking and assessment of viable alterations.
It's not the same as justifying 'cheating' with something so obviously not on the program that there is no justification. It's not the same as indulging emotional eating or quitting because there are some days it's hard...and make no mistake, while I still contend it's the easiest weight release I've ever experienced, there ARE days when it sucks eggs.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Day 16
I was hoping for a break in the -.7 days just so I'd know my Wii is working, but I wanted it the other way! Today is a -.4 day.
I am up early again. That typically shows up as less of a loss (or a gain...my body hates mornings as much as my brain does). Also, I'm very sore. After the 30-35 minutes of yoga in the afternoon, I did do 35 minutes of Wii in the evening and it was mostly aerobic and a little strength, with my favorites in rhythm and balance. I did work up a sweat.
Also, at the risk of TMI, since we are sharing, I have had breast tenderness today and yesterday. If PMS is starting already I can expect about the next TWO weeks to be odd on the scale. It's not fair and I hate that! There are enough variables without tossing in a known negative variable!
So, -7.3 the first week, -5.4 the second week for a total of -12.7. I know I should be happy with that...it's 10 lb. more than I'd be on a 'traditional' diet. But I've come to expect more from this program, so it is disappointing.
I'm seeing a little bit of a change in my body, but not yet a lot. At this rate it will likely take me the rest of the week to get into the 'normal' range on the Wii. It may take a week beyond that to get into the next size smaller clothes. I'd really love to be between 119-124 and a solid size 5. (I do have cute dresses in a size 2 and a size 3, but I got them because they were cute and reasonable, not because I want to be that small. I just figured if I did get there, I wanted these dresses.) Anyway, how long I continue will depend on how I feel and if I continue to release, no matter how slow or if it's pretty. I know people who near the end of their program who end up with a pattern of going for days with no loss but stick to it, only to let go of 3 lb. in one day.
My share for the day? A new study says that thin people can be unhealthy. Duh. It's not always the fat that increases medical costs, it's the lack of exercise. And some people who are thin don't exercise AND eat loads of garbage. Imagine that! They still stay thin, just not healthy. But it's always lack of exercise and too much of the wrong foods that make people fat. Hm.
2 pm
I ate most of you lunch options at about 11:30 am, with the apple following later by about an hour.
About an hour after that, my daughter and her boyfriend made my favorite...grilled cheese with garlic butter (they did not, however, include the tomato bisque soup that I pair it with). In any case, it was driving me CRAZY to smell that in the house and I did 'cheat' and had 8 macadamia nuts. Logically, I knew I could have resisted if I made coffee or left the house, but my stomach was raising hell and growling and I caved. It happens. If it were sugar or starch or something horrible, I'd feel worse, but I know macs don't impact me (usually) so much, so it was the lesser of several evils.
So much for my supportive and safe environment. I didn't feel I could ask them to go to his house because honestly, they do much of the time.
If I can, I will skip my fruit (and maybe my bread)later, but well see. I wonder if I can do yoga or Wii a little longer to make up for it, or take a hot bath to bump up my metabolism with a little heat. I won't have a chance to do the sauna.
I am up early again. That typically shows up as less of a loss (or a gain...my body hates mornings as much as my brain does). Also, I'm very sore. After the 30-35 minutes of yoga in the afternoon, I did do 35 minutes of Wii in the evening and it was mostly aerobic and a little strength, with my favorites in rhythm and balance. I did work up a sweat.
Also, at the risk of TMI, since we are sharing, I have had breast tenderness today and yesterday. If PMS is starting already I can expect about the next TWO weeks to be odd on the scale. It's not fair and I hate that! There are enough variables without tossing in a known negative variable!
So, -7.3 the first week, -5.4 the second week for a total of -12.7. I know I should be happy with that...it's 10 lb. more than I'd be on a 'traditional' diet. But I've come to expect more from this program, so it is disappointing.
I'm seeing a little bit of a change in my body, but not yet a lot. At this rate it will likely take me the rest of the week to get into the 'normal' range on the Wii. It may take a week beyond that to get into the next size smaller clothes. I'd really love to be between 119-124 and a solid size 5. (I do have cute dresses in a size 2 and a size 3, but I got them because they were cute and reasonable, not because I want to be that small. I just figured if I did get there, I wanted these dresses.) Anyway, how long I continue will depend on how I feel and if I continue to release, no matter how slow or if it's pretty. I know people who near the end of their program who end up with a pattern of going for days with no loss but stick to it, only to let go of 3 lb. in one day.
My share for the day? A new study says that thin people can be unhealthy. Duh. It's not always the fat that increases medical costs, it's the lack of exercise. And some people who are thin don't exercise AND eat loads of garbage. Imagine that! They still stay thin, just not healthy. But it's always lack of exercise and too much of the wrong foods that make people fat. Hm.
2 pm
I ate most of you lunch options at about 11:30 am, with the apple following later by about an hour.
About an hour after that, my daughter and her boyfriend made my favorite...grilled cheese with garlic butter (they did not, however, include the tomato bisque soup that I pair it with). In any case, it was driving me CRAZY to smell that in the house and I did 'cheat' and had 8 macadamia nuts. Logically, I knew I could have resisted if I made coffee or left the house, but my stomach was raising hell and growling and I caved. It happens. If it were sugar or starch or something horrible, I'd feel worse, but I know macs don't impact me (usually) so much, so it was the lesser of several evils.
So much for my supportive and safe environment. I didn't feel I could ask them to go to his house because honestly, they do much of the time.
If I can, I will skip my fruit (and maybe my bread)later, but well see. I wonder if I can do yoga or Wii a little longer to make up for it, or take a hot bath to bump up my metabolism with a little heat. I won't have a chance to do the sauna.
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