I didn't weigh during loading, so I was interested to see what the total was at the beginning of my first VLCI (Very Low Calorie Intake...I don't do 'diet') day. But, my dau had decided to sleep in the basement with the Wii and I couldn't weigh without waking her up.
So, I did today. After one day of VLCI (which went fine...no unusual hunger, even though I hadn't gone shopping and didn't have my second veggie, and I chose not to have melba toast) I was down .7 lb. from the last time I weighed, before loading. So, either I didn't gain much during loading, or I lost all of it and then some.
Now, I'm trying to organize one of those variables that makes life interesting. My sister just had a baby. She's in another state and has asked me to come help with breastfeeding. I can be gone for the weekend, but have a full day at work on Monday. So, I'm trying to figure out how to pull this off, be able to take my hcg and protocol food, etc.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Loading again
I know, I know. Just over 2 months ago, I thought perhaps it would be the last time ever I'd do this. But I never did reach where I wanted to be for our vacation at year's end. If I want to do it and have it locked in, I have to do it now. Like last time, it may or may not 'work'. I may be where my body wants to be. Plus, my dh helpfully pointed out that I'm not really a suitable candidate for this anymore. If someone came to me and said they only wanted to get rid of 10-20 lb. I'd tell them no way. But I've been bike riding, and playing tennis, and doing yoga...and I haven't lost the last bit with just regular eating and activity. So, I'm going to try again.
Besides, there has been a thought running around in my head for a few weeks now, and it seems I will get no rest until I let it out, so I'll share it here. I also need to test the theory, which means I go another round.
When I was in Michigan on vacation over the 4th, we went to one of our favorite restaurants in Traverse City. It used to be Bower's Harbor Inn. The casual dining area is now The Jolly Pumpkin, and the formal dining area is Mission Table. Anyway, the place has recently changed hands and changed names, but the legend of Genevieve remains.
In a nutshell, her story is that she was an obese and jealous woman who committed suicide when her husband left all of his wealth to his mistress. He left her only the mansion (at what must have seemed the ends of the earth at that time) and it is said she still haunts the place today.
However, every time I’ve been there, I’ve wondered why they called her ‘obese’, or why she considered herself such. All of the pictures show her as completely ‘normal’ weight as far as I can tell. This time when we were there however, I had an epiphany: The definition of ’obese’, official and the public perception of obese, has changed over time. Not only that, but it is different in different places now. ‘Fat’ is a subjective observation. Personally, I consider myself quite svelte now, but my Wii still says I’m overweight and many would still consider me fat to look at me. I don’t consider size 6 ‘fat’, but some really do.
If you read message boards about obesity, you find derogatory, even abusive, remarks from Europeans about ‘fat Americans’ and our gluttonous nature. And here is where a couple of thoughts came together regarding the Simeons hcg protocol ‘loading days’ that I feel are important.
‘Loading days’ are the three days before beginning the VLCD (very low calorie diet) wherein one consumes as much fat as possible. From Pounds and Inches: A New Approach to Obesity by Dr. Simeons:
Note that he actually uses the word, ‘gorging’. I keep up with many lists/groups for this protocol, besides talking people through the process. And over the last year and a half, I’ve come to see that there are many interpretations of what this means.
Taking these directions quite literally when I began, for me this is what a loading day might look like:
A day like that would leave me feeling absolutely full and ill all day and into the night. I didn’t sleep well. As I talked to other people, I found that for some, this entire day is ONE meal! For some, ‘gorging’ for a meal means a pound of bacon and a 4 inch stack of pancakes with a side of potatoes for breakfast; 2 or 3 Big Mac meals with shakes and a whole package of Oreos for lunch; an entire pizza and quart of ice cream for dinner.
So with my own clients, I started stressing that while Simeons did say to eat as much fat as possible, and he did say to ‘gorge’, the point is NOT to feel as horrible as possible. I also emphasize that this is not a ‘carb load’. People who choose to load up on sugar are likely going to have a ‘sugar hangover’ with irritability, a headache and perhaps shakiness for the first few days. It is far better to ‘load’ with healthy fats like nuts, cheese, olive oil, coconut oil, avocado, oily fish, etc. than garbage, BUT if there is something someone will miss, like that piece of cheesecake, they should have one. ONE.
Ok, so how does this stuff on loading relate to Genevieve and my epiphany? Well, another thing I tell people is that we have to look at what Simeons wrote and practiced in context. The protocol works if we stick to it as closely as possible, but for instance he didn’t list tuna on his approved foods. In the 40s and 50s when he was working on his theory and helping people in Italy, tuna was packed in oil. It is a wonderful low-fat protein if it is packed in water, which is easy to find now. Another example would be that he allows lipstick, but not lipbalm. It might be that lipsticks known to him contained mineral oil, whereas lipbalm might have consisted of those nutritive oils that are absorbed by the skin, like olive oil. OR it might just be that being a male doctor in a chauvinistic time and place, he could not conceive of a woman not wearing lipstick.
Putting all of that together, it occurred to me that ‘gorging’ might likewise be a relative term. What exactly did Simeons mean by it? Remember, he was in Italy. Prior to that, he worked in India, and he was from England. Even today, European portion sizes are vastly different than what Americans consume. Not only that, but looking at this graph you can see that what was considered a serving size in the 40s and 50s was about 1/3 (or less) than what a ‘serving size’ is today. This link is a visual of the serving sizes just 20 years ago.
So what did Simeons really mean? I think that, like with Genevieve who may or may not have been ‘obese’ by today’s standards, we have to take into consideration what Simeons really meant considering the time and places that his ideas originated. He did not mean consuming an entire week’s worth of groceries in one day, I’m sure of it. Yes, he allowed a lot of crap, but besides the amount of calories in that crap, there is a psychological benefit to allowing oneself to eat something that, if they tell themselves they can’t have it for 3 months, is going to make them feel deprived and tempted.
So, this time, I am going to test my theory.
Physically, I don't think I could consume the amount I provided in the example of my first loading day even. Since that time, I've not loaded to that extent, just because I didn't want to feel as gross as I did the first time around. Granted, that first round worked the best of all of them, but I felt horrible for those 3 days of loading. This time, I'm not purposely 'loading' to a point of discomfort, but I am going the full 3 days, and I am staying away from sugar for the most part. I had snack that consisted of a piece of sugar-free cheesecake today, for instance. It was a 2" x 2" square, with blueberries. I had a bagal with cream cheese for lunch. I had 2 pieces Ezekiel Bread with butter and 3 slices of bacon for breakfast. I intended to have a couple of ounces of cheese or cottage cheese too, but I was too full after the toast and bacon. It is more bread than I planned on (even though the toast is sprouted and not flour) and I'm hoping that doesn't come back and bite me. Frankly, I still feel almost uncomfortably full right now and it's after 2:30 pm, so I'm thinking the hcg is doing it's job and tomorrow I'm super ready to just get on with it.
Besides, there has been a thought running around in my head for a few weeks now, and it seems I will get no rest until I let it out, so I'll share it here. I also need to test the theory, which means I go another round.
When I was in Michigan on vacation over the 4th, we went to one of our favorite restaurants in Traverse City. It used to be Bower's Harbor Inn. The casual dining area is now The Jolly Pumpkin, and the formal dining area is Mission Table. Anyway, the place has recently changed hands and changed names, but the legend of Genevieve remains.
In a nutshell, her story is that she was an obese and jealous woman who committed suicide when her husband left all of his wealth to his mistress. He left her only the mansion (at what must have seemed the ends of the earth at that time) and it is said she still haunts the place today.
However, every time I’ve been there, I’ve wondered why they called her ‘obese’, or why she considered herself such. All of the pictures show her as completely ‘normal’ weight as far as I can tell. This time when we were there however, I had an epiphany: The definition of ’obese’, official and the public perception of obese, has changed over time. Not only that, but it is different in different places now. ‘Fat’ is a subjective observation. Personally, I consider myself quite svelte now, but my Wii still says I’m overweight and many would still consider me fat to look at me. I don’t consider size 6 ‘fat’, but some really do.
If you read message boards about obesity, you find derogatory, even abusive, remarks from Europeans about ‘fat Americans’ and our gluttonous nature. And here is where a couple of thoughts came together regarding the Simeons hcg protocol ‘loading days’ that I feel are important.
‘Loading days’ are the three days before beginning the VLCD (very low calorie diet) wherein one consumes as much fat as possible. From Pounds and Inches: A New Approach to Obesity by Dr. Simeons:
“Most patients who have been struggling with diets for years and know how rapidly they gain if they let themselves go are very hard to convince of the absolute necessity of gorging for at least two days, and yet this must he insisted upon categorically if the further course of treatment is to run smoothly. Those patients who have to be put on forced feeding for a week before starting the injections usually gain weight rapidly - four to six pounds in 24 hours is not unusual - but after a day or two this rapid gain generally levels off. In any case, the whole gain is usually lost in the first 48 hours of dieting. It is necessary to proceed in this manner because the gain re-stocks the depleted normal reserves, whereas the subsequent loss is from the abnormal deposits only.”
Note that he actually uses the word, ‘gorging’. I keep up with many lists/groups for this protocol, besides talking people through the process. And over the last year and a half, I’ve come to see that there are many interpretations of what this means.
Taking these directions quite literally when I began, for me this is what a loading day might look like:
Breakfast: 1 Egg McMuffin with cheese and bacon, hashbrowns, coffee with cream and sugar
Snack: 1 donut
Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich and 1-2 cups potato chips
Snack: 1/2 cup Ben & Jerry’s
Dinner: 1/3 of an order of Fettucini Alfredo (most places serve about what, say Olive Garden does) and ½ to ¾ of a piece of cheesecake, depending on if I split it with my husband or tried to eat it on my own.
A day like that would leave me feeling absolutely full and ill all day and into the night. I didn’t sleep well. As I talked to other people, I found that for some, this entire day is ONE meal! For some, ‘gorging’ for a meal means a pound of bacon and a 4 inch stack of pancakes with a side of potatoes for breakfast; 2 or 3 Big Mac meals with shakes and a whole package of Oreos for lunch; an entire pizza and quart of ice cream for dinner.
So with my own clients, I started stressing that while Simeons did say to eat as much fat as possible, and he did say to ‘gorge’, the point is NOT to feel as horrible as possible. I also emphasize that this is not a ‘carb load’. People who choose to load up on sugar are likely going to have a ‘sugar hangover’ with irritability, a headache and perhaps shakiness for the first few days. It is far better to ‘load’ with healthy fats like nuts, cheese, olive oil, coconut oil, avocado, oily fish, etc. than garbage, BUT if there is something someone will miss, like that piece of cheesecake, they should have one. ONE.
Ok, so how does this stuff on loading relate to Genevieve and my epiphany? Well, another thing I tell people is that we have to look at what Simeons wrote and practiced in context. The protocol works if we stick to it as closely as possible, but for instance he didn’t list tuna on his approved foods. In the 40s and 50s when he was working on his theory and helping people in Italy, tuna was packed in oil. It is a wonderful low-fat protein if it is packed in water, which is easy to find now. Another example would be that he allows lipstick, but not lipbalm. It might be that lipsticks known to him contained mineral oil, whereas lipbalm might have consisted of those nutritive oils that are absorbed by the skin, like olive oil. OR it might just be that being a male doctor in a chauvinistic time and place, he could not conceive of a woman not wearing lipstick.
Putting all of that together, it occurred to me that ‘gorging’ might likewise be a relative term. What exactly did Simeons mean by it? Remember, he was in Italy. Prior to that, he worked in India, and he was from England. Even today, European portion sizes are vastly different than what Americans consume. Not only that, but looking at this graph you can see that what was considered a serving size in the 40s and 50s was about 1/3 (or less) than what a ‘serving size’ is today. This link is a visual of the serving sizes just 20 years ago.
So what did Simeons really mean? I think that, like with Genevieve who may or may not have been ‘obese’ by today’s standards, we have to take into consideration what Simeons really meant considering the time and places that his ideas originated. He did not mean consuming an entire week’s worth of groceries in one day, I’m sure of it. Yes, he allowed a lot of crap, but besides the amount of calories in that crap, there is a psychological benefit to allowing oneself to eat something that, if they tell themselves they can’t have it for 3 months, is going to make them feel deprived and tempted.
So, this time, I am going to test my theory.
Physically, I don't think I could consume the amount I provided in the example of my first loading day even. Since that time, I've not loaded to that extent, just because I didn't want to feel as gross as I did the first time around. Granted, that first round worked the best of all of them, but I felt horrible for those 3 days of loading. This time, I'm not purposely 'loading' to a point of discomfort, but I am going the full 3 days, and I am staying away from sugar for the most part. I had snack that consisted of a piece of sugar-free cheesecake today, for instance. It was a 2" x 2" square, with blueberries. I had a bagal with cream cheese for lunch. I had 2 pieces Ezekiel Bread with butter and 3 slices of bacon for breakfast. I intended to have a couple of ounces of cheese or cottage cheese too, but I was too full after the toast and bacon. It is more bread than I planned on (even though the toast is sprouted and not flour) and I'm hoping that doesn't come back and bite me. Frankly, I still feel almost uncomfortably full right now and it's after 2:30 pm, so I'm thinking the hcg is doing it's job and tomorrow I'm super ready to just get on with it.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Really???
Ok, I had to blog this just because it's asinine.
Over the last two days, the scale says I'm up two pounds (putting me at an all time high since November 2009) while my dh is DOWN 3.5 lb. in the same two days, doing the exact same things, and eating the exact same amounts of the exact same foods.
Since the 4th weekend, I lost what I had gained over the holiday, with steady losses all week.
Friday we both had some time off and made plans that commenced with dinner together that night.
Well, that's not exactly right. We had a yoga date Thursday night, and then had to grocery shop for your weekend.
So anyway, Friday, I cooked protocol/stabilization friendly trip foods. I made herbed eggs, no wheat/no sugar biscuits, mom's (no)potato salad and allowable blueberry cheesecake.
I had done an hour-and-a half of yoga one day, biked to work and back on Thursday (8-9 miles round trip) and did just he sun salutation series a few times with dh to stretch that ride out.
Friday, I did taste test while I was cooking because all of these were new or variations on stuff I'd tried just once or twice before. But with each test, I'd have halve and dh would have half and tell me what he thought.
We had steak that night for dinner, his twice the size of mine and mine a choice cut at that. Nothing else.
I had two glass of wine out on the patio...didn't finish the 2nd; he had a couple of his drinks (whiskey).
Sat. we made egg/muffin sandwiches with the low carb biscuits, had some coffee, and loaded the bikes to go 'up nort'. (It's a 'Sconsin thing.) We ended up doing quite a bit more riding in the car than we planned, but ultimately did get out and a.) hike a big ass hill and b.) ride 5 miles in the woods, the latter half of that trip trying to out run a thunder storm that was moving in off the lake.
Our road food left dh starving, while I was quite satiated the whole time. We packed LOTS of H2O (no sodas or anything else), 1 small serving (>1/2 cup or so) each of the (no)potato salad, 1 2 in. sq. ea. of the cheesecake, 2 apples (that did not get eaten...we were full at lunch and didn't eat them, but forgot about them in the cooler), a nut/dried berry trail-mix, Jay Robb protein shakes (also not consumed becuase we never stopped to pick up goats milk) and Atins bars.
The things we ate had no sugar or starches and are typically things that make us lose. However, I had 'gained' 1.1 lb. the day after the steak (as usual, unless it's the ONLY thing I eat all day as part of a IF (Intermittent Fast) and I didn't recover from that yet.
I will say, because I 'followed the rules' and because my rings and clothes are fitting normally, even in the heat and humidity when I usually have to take the rings off, I'm going to assume that I'm building muscle or something.
I would have been in a tailspin in the past! Honestly, if I had hCG in my possession, I'd probably panick and start another round right now, because I don't like seeing the scale where it is!
But, I'm going to breathe deeply, ride again today, yoga again today, beach it again today, eat what I know works for me again today, and trust that tomorrow I'll be down. I may make some smooth move tea just to make sure I'm weighing only my actual weight and nothing else, and I'll have an all protein day.
Oh, I did weigh a couple of hours later than the last few days, too. That always makes a difference, and usually no in my favor.
But how frustrating it is to be with someone 24/7, doing the exact same things...even eating LESS and having almost exact opposite results. That SUCKS!
Over the last two days, the scale says I'm up two pounds (putting me at an all time high since November 2009) while my dh is DOWN 3.5 lb. in the same two days, doing the exact same things, and eating the exact same amounts of the exact same foods.
Since the 4th weekend, I lost what I had gained over the holiday, with steady losses all week.
Friday we both had some time off and made plans that commenced with dinner together that night.
Well, that's not exactly right. We had a yoga date Thursday night, and then had to grocery shop for your weekend.
So anyway, Friday, I cooked protocol/stabilization friendly trip foods. I made herbed eggs, no wheat/no sugar biscuits, mom's (no)potato salad and allowable blueberry cheesecake.
I had done an hour-and-a half of yoga one day, biked to work and back on Thursday (8-9 miles round trip) and did just he sun salutation series a few times with dh to stretch that ride out.
Friday, I did taste test while I was cooking because all of these were new or variations on stuff I'd tried just once or twice before. But with each test, I'd have halve and dh would have half and tell me what he thought.
We had steak that night for dinner, his twice the size of mine and mine a choice cut at that. Nothing else.
I had two glass of wine out on the patio...didn't finish the 2nd; he had a couple of his drinks (whiskey).
Sat. we made egg/muffin sandwiches with the low carb biscuits, had some coffee, and loaded the bikes to go 'up nort'. (It's a 'Sconsin thing.) We ended up doing quite a bit more riding in the car than we planned, but ultimately did get out and a.) hike a big ass hill and b.) ride 5 miles in the woods, the latter half of that trip trying to out run a thunder storm that was moving in off the lake.
Our road food left dh starving, while I was quite satiated the whole time. We packed LOTS of H2O (no sodas or anything else), 1 small serving (>1/2 cup or so) each of the (no)potato salad, 1 2 in. sq. ea. of the cheesecake, 2 apples (that did not get eaten...we were full at lunch and didn't eat them, but forgot about them in the cooler), a nut/dried berry trail-mix, Jay Robb protein shakes (also not consumed becuase we never stopped to pick up goats milk) and Atins bars.
The things we ate had no sugar or starches and are typically things that make us lose. However, I had 'gained' 1.1 lb. the day after the steak (as usual, unless it's the ONLY thing I eat all day as part of a IF (Intermittent Fast) and I didn't recover from that yet.
I will say, because I 'followed the rules' and because my rings and clothes are fitting normally, even in the heat and humidity when I usually have to take the rings off, I'm going to assume that I'm building muscle or something.
I would have been in a tailspin in the past! Honestly, if I had hCG in my possession, I'd probably panick and start another round right now, because I don't like seeing the scale where it is!
But, I'm going to breathe deeply, ride again today, yoga again today, beach it again today, eat what I know works for me again today, and trust that tomorrow I'll be down. I may make some smooth move tea just to make sure I'm weighing only my actual weight and nothing else, and I'll have an all protein day.
Oh, I did weigh a couple of hours later than the last few days, too. That always makes a difference, and usually no in my favor.
But how frustrating it is to be with someone 24/7, doing the exact same things...even eating LESS and having almost exact opposite results. That SUCKS!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Navigating a holiday weekend
I survived the 4th of July no worse for the wear!
We traveled to Michigan for a long (really long...5 days!) weekend, meaning we were on the road two full days. We split the first part of the trip into two 5-hour days of driving, and the trip home was a full 8 hours.
We did not have our own scale with us. We barely fit all the junk did take into our car! I did weigh on my dad's scale our last day there, and it said I was the same as I was on my scale the day I left. That was encouraging because last time his scale was 4 lb. heavier than mine, and he said it was about that difference between his scale and his doctor's. So, I figured I actually might have lost a little, but I knew I didn't gain.
On my scale at home (after a full day of NO movement in the car) I was up a little less than a lb. Today I'm down a couple of tenths of a lb. I'm really close to my plus-2 lb. weight, which is up a little more than I want to be, but within the realm of decent.
I did party more than usual, but I make sure I had a bottle of water for every glass of wine. I chose cheese from the buffet table, and make decent choices at restaurants for the most part. I gave away most of the fries that came with my chicken or burgers...all total for the weekend I had about 20 fries and a 1/2 dozen chips. I had one 2 x 2 brownie. Otherwise, I ate food I brought that I know works for me in a pinch (nuts, fruit, Atkins bars) and stuck with cheese, or for breakfast the last day, bacon.
I do think that one thing that saved me was I made cookies and cupcakes from the Healthy Indulgences blog. I knew there would be temptations while eating out, at my step-moms (she's a stellar cook and baker!) and on the road. Having a bag of allowable treats made it really easy to go for those instead.
While I'm certain just being back and living life normally (well, our new normal, which is not quit Grok but close) will bring us back where we want to be, we (dh and I) think we may do a 'steak day' as an Intermittent Fast to bump us back quicker.
Overall, I'm pleased with what I feared would be a setback. Now I'm going to sound like those people I used to hate when I was 210 and say, "If I could only drop those last 10 lb. before our next vacation..." ;-)
We traveled to Michigan for a long (really long...5 days!) weekend, meaning we were on the road two full days. We split the first part of the trip into two 5-hour days of driving, and the trip home was a full 8 hours.
We did not have our own scale with us. We barely fit all the junk did take into our car! I did weigh on my dad's scale our last day there, and it said I was the same as I was on my scale the day I left. That was encouraging because last time his scale was 4 lb. heavier than mine, and he said it was about that difference between his scale and his doctor's. So, I figured I actually might have lost a little, but I knew I didn't gain.
On my scale at home (after a full day of NO movement in the car) I was up a little less than a lb. Today I'm down a couple of tenths of a lb. I'm really close to my plus-2 lb. weight, which is up a little more than I want to be, but within the realm of decent.
I did party more than usual, but I make sure I had a bottle of water for every glass of wine. I chose cheese from the buffet table, and make decent choices at restaurants for the most part. I gave away most of the fries that came with my chicken or burgers...all total for the weekend I had about 20 fries and a 1/2 dozen chips. I had one 2 x 2 brownie. Otherwise, I ate food I brought that I know works for me in a pinch (nuts, fruit, Atkins bars) and stuck with cheese, or for breakfast the last day, bacon.
I do think that one thing that saved me was I made cookies and cupcakes from the Healthy Indulgences blog. I knew there would be temptations while eating out, at my step-moms (she's a stellar cook and baker!) and on the road. Having a bag of allowable treats made it really easy to go for those instead.
While I'm certain just being back and living life normally (well, our new normal, which is not quit Grok but close) will bring us back where we want to be, we (dh and I) think we may do a 'steak day' as an Intermittent Fast to bump us back quicker.
Overall, I'm pleased with what I feared would be a setback. Now I'm going to sound like those people I used to hate when I was 210 and say, "If I could only drop those last 10 lb. before our next vacation..." ;-)
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